Kiss me back

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It was already fifteen minutes into football practice, before Jungkook finally showed up to practice. The whole team had already done their laps, starting on some passing drills, so it was natural that Jungkook met the team captain, Namjoon, with with a displeased expression. 

Jungkook was never usually late for football practice. He took all of his after school activities very seriously (much more serious than his usual school work) so it was rare for him to be even late, much less this late.

And what was even more offsetting was that even after quickly changing into his gear and joining the rest of the team in playing, Jungkook was not really playing well. 

Normally, when Taehyung passed the ball over to Jungkook, he would confidently kick back, right back into Taehyung’s foot, so they could continue the routine. However today, Jungkook kept missing and having to run away to retrieve the ball, and his aims back to Taehyung was just as off as his receives. In simple words, he was definitely not the star-player that the team proudly labeled him as. 

“Yah, Jeon Jungkook!” Taehyung called to the younger boy. “What’s going on? First you're late - so late that I even texted your best friend to see if you were going to show up at all - then now you're playing really ty. You're really not in your best today - are you okay?” 

Jungkook sighed. Of course he’s not alright. He hasn’t gotten any sleep since Friday night, thinking about exactly what happened and where it all went wrong… 

So Jungkook settles with a tired smile, and the usual “Yeah I’m alright. Just need some sleep I guess,”

Taehyung nods understandingly. Jungkook really doesn't look that good, dark circles were under his round eyes, and his usual glowing skin looked more ashen than healthy. 

“Come on,” he gestured to the bench. “Let’s take a break.”

It was a great weather to be doing outside activities today, the sun was half covered by wispy clouds, and there was a cool breeze constantly blowing across the field, making Jungkook and Taehyung’s body cool and comfy. The rest of the team members continued practicing, running around with balls at their foot, trying desperately to master their latest tactics.

And as Jungkook watched, he couldn't help but feel guilty about it. He should be in there, joining in with the practice. Namjoon hyung had picked him over so many other talented peers to join the team, only to have him be bothered about something so small and cannot concentrate on practice - 

“Man, this ,” the words were out before he could control his mouth.

Taehyung raised an eyebrow. “What ??”

Jungkook wondered if he should ask Taehyung for help. Yes, he’s worried that they haven’t been talking but he’s more worried that he doesn’t know how she is doing. The last time they talked she seemed so upset - Jungkook wanted to know if she was alright - but if she kept shutting him out, he would never know! 

Jungkook groaned inwardly and turned to Taehyung. “You guys take the same literature class right?”

“Urm…” Taehyung took a moment to figure out who Jungkook was talking about his childhood best friend. “Oh, yea?”

“Do you guys, erm, talk?”

“Um… Kind of?”

“Could you just,” Jungkook couldn’t believe he was asking someone else do this, when this had always been his job, “you know, look out for her? Talk to her if she’s upset or something?”

Taehyung was getting confused. Jung kook is not exactly doing a great job at explaining what is on his mind. “I thought you guys were best friends…? Don’t you live real close to each other? Why don’t you do it?”

“If I could, I would have,” Jungkook smiled sadly. “It was so easy before when we were kids, but even since I got that kiss things have been so messed up between us -” Jungkook sighed. “I don’t know anymore. All I wanted was to have her experience what I experienced -”

The kiss? Taehyung thought back to that day Jungkook asked him to come to his house. He figured by now that with his help, she would have explained her feelings to Jungkook, and this issue would have been solved over the weekend long ago...? Why was Jungkook bringing it up now...? “Jungkook I’m really confused-”

“She just stopped talking to me out the nowhere. I called her, texted her afterwards but she never replied. I went by her house to see what was wrong, but her mom told me she didn’t want to see me…” Jungkook’s eyebrows knotted together. “Like what the hell? Since when do best friends send their moms to tell the other one that she didn’t want to see me?”

“Well,” Taehyung tried helpfully, “have you thought of what you did that maybe pissed her off?”

Jungkook shrugged. “I didn’t do anything. I mean, she did tell me after you left that she wanted me to kiss her, not you. So I’m sorry about - ”

“Wait wait wait, hold on.” Before, Jungkook was not giving him enough information, but now he was giving Taehyung too much information that Taehyung was having a little bit of a hard time to following along. His eyes were large like saucers as he forced Jungkook to look at him. “She asked you to kiss her?”

“Yeah…?”

"...Wow," Taehyung mused. He had expected that they would eventually kiss after he had left, but he didn’t think that she would have been the one to ask so bluntly. That was very bold of her- 

“Wow what? I mean, it’s not a big deal, right?” Jung kook continued nonchalantly. “She said she wanted to and I was like ‘alright man, I’m cool with it’. I figured if she wanted to kiss me, she could.”

“…okay…”

“Thats where things started to get weird.” Jung kook’s head was hurting the more he was thinking about this. Hell knows that this was all he had been thinking about for the past few nights. “She said that I didn’t understand her, and that wasn’t what she meant…? I mean, if you don’t explain it, of course I’m not going to understand, right?”

Taehyung nodded along, his mind whirling fast as he followed Jungkook’s story. So far nothing seemed to be the problem…? Why was she upset then? When he left, he made sure to leave her enough to hints for her to figure it out on her own -

“So I asked her what she meant. I asked her nicely too, no mean jokes or anything. ‘What do you mean I don’t get it? I mean, it’s just a kiss between two best friends…?’”

Just a kiss...between two best friends? Taehyung gasped. 

Just moments ago he was thinking Jungkook hadn’t done anything wrong - the next he was telling Taehyung he had said that to her - “Jeon Jungkook, you did not just -”

“I did think that maybe she was upset I made such a small deal out of it, but then quickly after I said that, she agreed with me, that yes, it was just a kiss after all, so that can't be the problem,”

Huh, that couldn’t be right. Taehyung was pretty sure that she would have figured out her feelings by the time Jungkook returned to his room after he had left.

Taehyung was about to ask more but Jungkook beat him to it: “but then now Im thinking maybe that wasn't the case? Because after we kissed, she just looked at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen her with.” And it were those beautifully sad eyes that haunted Jungkook these past few nights. Never had his childhood friend given him that look before - not even when her puppy of three months old died during her primary school trip - “she looked so broken, and so disappointed…” His voice trailed off. 

The whole incident had been so strange. He wasn't even sure if he could say they kissed, when in reality, she had been the one who carefully leaned in, tipping up her toes because she was not tall enough to reach his lips when her feet were flat on the floor. Jung kook remembers distantly about how he caught the scent of her shampoo when she leaned in and placed her soft lips on his. It was a calming citrus smell that reminded him of their summer days of just hanging around with a lemonade ice pop on his porch, laughing happily at the dumbest things they could think off…

“It wasn’t a bad kiss considering we were both newbies at it.” Jung kook concluded. “but afterwards she looked so upset, like she was trying so hard not to cry, and she just dashed out the door.”

Taehyung’s headache was getting worse. He had been so positive that she had feelings for Jungkook, so the fact that she would be willing to kiss Jungkook even after those hurtful words was surprising. Perhaps he underestimated her feelings, and that it ran deeper than he thought, so deep that she was willing to accept anything that Jungkook offered…

Jungkookg had just described the perfect image of a girl whose heart was broken, even though she had kissed the one she wanted… She should have been ecstatic, not sad and heartbroken. This just doesn't make sense - “Maybe you were a bad kisser?”

Jungkook scoffed at Taehyung’s accusing tone. “No, you wish. But truth is - I did’t do anything, I didn’t even kiss her back when she leant in to kiss me. So how would she have known -”

“You did not what?!”

“Um… Kiss her back?”

Taehyung was baffled. “How could you have not kissed her back?”

“I dunno?” Jungkook dead panned. He looked at Taehyung whose mouth was wide open with shock and surprise. Why was he reacting so violently to this news? “Was I supposed to kiss her back?”

Taehyung could not believe he was even asking that question. Between grinding teeth, and a palm on his face, he managed to squeeze out a very tired ‘yes, Jungkook'.

Jungkook’s eyes widened curiously. “Why?”

“Er…” how was he ever going to explain it? Taehyung thought it was common sense not just to be kissed, but also kiss back - it was the idea of give and take, right? He found himself speechless to Jungkook’s dumbness. Sure, he enjoyed mocking Jungkook’s innocence but at times like this he really wished his mind would spin a little faster than a snail trying to crawl uphill…

Jungkook wrinkled his nose. “Is that why she got so upset? Because I didn’t kiss her back?”

“Um…”

"But sunbae-nim wasn't upset that I didn't kiss her back when she kissed me. Isn't that the same thing?"

Well of course not - because that pretty upper classmen obviously did not like Jungkook the way she liked Jungkook - was that Taehyung wanted to say to Jungkook, but then at this stage, he was pretty sure Jungkok would not have understood.

Sensing Taehyung's hesitance, Jungkook offered, “Well if you’re not sure, will you ask her for me? If thats why she got so upset?”

“Uh…”

“Come on, you brought it up so now I need to know.” Jung kook complained, he hated not knowing something or not being able to do things well. So he clasped his hands together and put on a pleading tone. “If I keep getting confused and worried over her I’ll never be able to concentrate in football practice. Then Namjoon hyung is going to get mad and kick me out of the football team. Then when we go on football tournament trips you would have to sit with someone who doesn’t do dubsmashes with you - do you really want that?”

Taehyung couldn’t believe Jungkook was trying so hard to get this figured out. Damn, if this kid would just work a little harder on his classes like this, Taehyung was pretty sure that he would be able to put in the same classes as her… 

A small smile managed to creep up to the corner of his lips when he was suddenly enlighten with a plan. A little more help from him wouldn’t harm, right? He did lend out a hand to help her too. “Fine. I’ll text her now, if that pleases you.” 

“Wow. Thanks, man.” Jung kook gave Taehyung a harsh pat on the shoulder. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. Usually I go to her about these things, heck, everything, but since she’s giving me the cold shoulder, I can’t really do that anymore, can I?”

Taehyung mindlessly responded a ‘hmm’, while concentrating on texting: hey, you still at school? Practice canceled, so I want to know if -

Jung kook though, on the other hand, unconsciously fell back to reminiscing the scene. Was he supposed to have kissed her back? “Why would she want me to kiss her back though? I didn’t kiss that sunbae-nim back. If I did, wouldn’t she be experiencing something different?”

Well, it is different, Jungkook… Taehyung tried to put it in baby words for him. “but did it feel different? Even though it was supposed to be the same?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course it did.” Why would Taehyung would even ask a question like that? The kiss with the pretty upperclassmen and hers were so different. Her lips were so much more softer, with no artificially flavoured lipgloss, but sweet like honey, natural and pleasant… “It felt much better.”

“So you liked it more than the kiss that sunbae-nim gave you. Even though you had been crushing on sunbae-nim for years.”

Jungkook nodded cautiously. “yea… what are you getting at…?”

Taehyung groaned. It was pretty obvious, but Jungkook still seemed to be in the dark about this. How could someone be so witty with words on the field but yet so dumb about things around him? 

“Jungkook, has it ever occurred to you that you like her?”

“Huh…? What do you mean? Of course I like her - she’s my best friend.”

“No,” Taehyung never wanted to kill Jungkook more that he did today. “Alright, let’s try something else. You don't have to tell me, but think about what they felt like - the kisses. Whats the difference between the two kisses you received?”

Jungkook pursed his lips. The differences between the two? 

He tried to bring up when she had tiptoed cutely up to him, and stuck out her lips to kiss him and Jungkook couldn’t help smiling at it. How could he not? It had been so cute. And what he had felt was even more incredible. 

It had been like a small explosion of happiness and calmness at the same time that pursed in him - something that was hard to explain to others, the feeling was like as if he found a place where he belonged, and could stay as long as he wanted to. It felt right - like so right. That feeling of rightness so strong that it makes Jungkook wonder why they hadn’t done this long ago even though they have been friends for forever…

Almost like a cage of butterflies had been in his stomach the whole time, awaiting to be let out and the moment he felt her soft, honey coated lips, they rushed out through the entrance, bumping into every nerve he had. Rushes of euphoria just came washing over him like tidal waves, and it just felt… Good. 

Like really good.

Whereas the pretty sunbae… There wasn’t much to say about her kiss. Jung kook supposed the kiss with the famous sunbae was well, nice? If he were to describe what it felt like - it would be something along the lines of him unlocking an achievement in a video game. Though the achievement could have been bought with coins. It was still definitely something he could brag about… And possibly shove down Jimin’s throat when the guy wouldn't lend Jungkook his biology notes… Jungkook knew that the poor short guy has had a crush on the pretty sunbae since like forever.

Sure, Jungkook admits that he has a little crush on her too - but it was nothing like Jimin’s huge crush that was spelt with capitals. In fact, he remembers so clearly that when her sticky lips caught onto his pursed ones, what went through his mind other than oh what is going on was a huge reminder highlighted in bright yellow markers: I can't wait for her to hear about this -

“And think about what you expected from a kiss. The whole thing happened because you felt like sunbae-nim’s kiss didn’t feel right, right? How was the kiss with her - did that feel right?

Jungkook’s mind went blind at those words. 

Wait a minute.

Butterflies and a rushing feeling of euphoria and the feeling that it was really good… Weren’t those the words that the main character in the drama he had been watching had used when she had described her first kiss with her destined lover…? 

Jungkook hadn’t talked to his childhood friend over the weekend, so it was natural that he didn’t watch the drama since it was kind of their thing, to watch it together. And even more naturally, that this piece of information had completely slipped his mind. 

Had he just described what he thought a real kiss should have felt like?

“And while you’re at it,” Taehyung could see the slow realization come forth in Jungkook’s mind. His face said it all, Taehyung didn’t even need to ask. “I’m going to ask you again. Has it ever occurred to you that you like her?”

Butterflies and a rushing feeling of euphoria and the feeling that it was really good…

Jungkook’s eyes widened. 

It had been so easy all along. The answer had been so clear, and yet his brain and emotions were never on the same page so he had been so blind all along. It took her to kiss him and Taehyung’s not so subtile hints to get himself to even consider the possibly that maybe… Maybe…

They had known each other for their whole life. Jung kook knew her better than anyone else in the world, and her vice versa. He liked how she completed him in areas he was never good at. Her quick and sarcastic comments were what he looked for when he shared his day with her, and her ability to solve his math homework never ceased to amaze him, and… 

It had been there along. He just never really thought about it, but now that he has… Maybe.. Maybe..

Jungkook gasped. “…I like her.”

“Yes, well done.”

“And…” Jungkook’s mind was swirling. He breathed out his next realisation. “…she likes me too. Thats why she was so upset.”

“Hmm. Not bad.”

All this information was mind blowing, Jungkook took a moment to think through them clearly. The point where she figured she liked him was probably when Jungkook made her go kiss Taehyung, which is why they never ended up kissing. And the reason she got so upset later on was probably because… 

“OH MAN, HOLY !” 

He didn't kiss her back.

“This is bad, Taehyung” Jungkook hissed. “, this is really bad. I messed up big time! I didn’t kiss her back, Taehyung, she must think that I don’t like her back either!”

Taehyung shrugged. “Well maybe you should kiss her back.”

Jung kook tried his best to resist the urge to roll his eyes. “What do you mean kiss her back - I can’t really do that now, can I? We’re not talking anymore, remember?”

“Well,” Taehyung picked up his phone and directed it toward the back of Jungkook. “She’s behind you now,”

“Huh, what -” And as Jungkook turned around - there she was. With her phone in one hand and literature book in another, she walked timidly towards the field, avoiding Jungkook’s burning eyes. Her face was flushed in a pretty shade of rosy red, and her lips so pink and peachy, so kissable -

“Taehyung,” she hissed and hushed towards the sneaky boy who was now wearing a proud grin. “I thought practice canceled, and you wanted me to help you out with your work. Why are you in your gear, still at practice?”

Taehyung simply shrugged. “Guess I made a mistake. I’m going to go back to practice now,”

And that left the two of them. 

And awkward silence hung around the two - which used to be a rare thing, since the two used to be so chatty and vibrant, talking about almost anything and everything - but now after the recent events, it seemed as if they were always in a situation where they couldn’t really say what was on their minds anymore. 

She was looking everywhere but at Jungkook. She had wanted to avoid the field since she knew that Jungkook would be here - he never missed practice - but prior to coming here Taehyung had texted her asking her if Jungkook was going to show up so she assumed that he wasn’t here… And then he also said that practice canceled... Ugh, she should have checked or something!

And seeing the boy before her was not helping her wounded heart. She remembers so clearly how he shrugged and said “it’s just a kiss”, when it had been something so much more to her. She was confessing to him - for hell’s sake - and all he did was shrug and let her embarrass herself -

“You left so quickly that day I never got to tell you how it felt like,”

She raised her head and found Jungkook looking directly at her. A sad smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He still looks like he always does, the Jungkook that she has known forever… So what does he want now, to embarrass her again? She bit her lips in habit, and waited for him to continue.

“I mean, I have kind of a faint idea, but it was so quick, so I can’t really be sure…”

Jungkook tried to keep his voice calm and even, but hell knows his hands are sweating so much, and his heart beating so fast and loud that he was sure that if he spoke a little softer, she would be able to hear it. 

He prays that he doesn’t mess this up.

“…huh?”

“I’m going to kiss you now. I need you to kiss me back.”

_

Anyyywayyyy.... So yea!

I finally managed to finish it! I can't believe I managed to too!

So in case you haven't figured out - they do kiss (yay!)

but I have left it open to imagination about whether they get together or not. 

As I said, I am on the fence about these things these days 

(and to that one subbie that was concerned - I really did want to make up with him.

I didn't see a problem with us being friends at all, but his girlfriend obviously had a problem with me.

Which was really annoying because I had known him pretty much all my life and am not attracted to him at all.

I even helped him plan their perfect valentines day event-

which she does not know about and thinks he's super romantic for coming up with it. ugh.) 

Anyyyway. Back to the story -

I gave Taehyung more roles because honestly, he seems so cute in that BangtanGayo Trot episode...

And their crazy friendship handshake, alright best friends spotted right there - who could have been a better candidate, right?

That image at the top really is my favourite picture of Jungkook, maybe of all photos of the 화양연화 albums.

(sorry Jin, you look amazing too but those photos didn't do you justice haha)

I think that photo makes JK look so... young and mature at the same time. 

I dont know. He's feels so young to me at most times (since is barely of legal age),

so it's a good change when I see these type of more age maturing photo of him. 

Its getting late and I'm just blabbering, so I will just stop writing now.

Thankyou again for being so supportive, I will slowly get back on track with writting longer stories, I promise!

 Please subscribe and comment on your thoughts of pt 2?

<3 Yoonah.