On the following days afterward, Yoochun and Junsu would always see each other in the same cafe at the same specific time. Junsu would always find Yoochun seated at the same table, unless it was occupied, and he would invite himself on the seat opposite the man to initiate small talk even for a few minutes until he had to return back to work at the opposite building of the cafe. He didn't know it but Yoochun found the gesture to be sweet. Although Yoochun didn't know the other for very long, Junsu taking the initiative said so much about his caring personality.

 

In no time at all, Yoochun and Junsu found each other to be great companies. Their short and quiet conversations eventually transitioned to long exchanges, silly jokes, and playful banter. They told stories to each other, shared even the most ridiculous puns, and laughed like childhood friends. It was as if they met and became friends when they were little tots rather than about a week or two ago.

 

It also wasn't very long until they exchanged phone numbers and their meeting place wasn't only the cafe anymore. Junsu was one of the executives of a business and with that came a hefty amount of things to be done but with whatever free time Junsu had, he invited Yoochun for either dinner outside at a cozy restaurant, a quick drink at a quiet bar, or even to walk their dogs at the nearby park on the weekends. Yoochun, being a freelance author, had a flexible schedule (if one could call it that since it was kind of non-existent) so it wasn't difficult for him to get up and go with whatever Junsu wanted to do. Besides, he needed to find a new muse since the last one he had was, well... It was complicated.

 

After a long day at work, Junsu called up Yoochun to invite the man to have a drink with him at a bar in the middle of the city. Yoochun was quick to pick up the call, as if he was waiting for the invitation ever since he woke up, which he actually was but he would never admit it to Junsu. They exchanged a few words, both equally as excited to meet, then hung up. Yoochun immediately dashed out of his small apartment with a bright smile on his face, unknowingly matching the smile on Junsu's who's a few kilometers away.

 

In less than twenty minutes, Yoochun arrived at the bar Junsu told him to meet up at. He walked inside, his head darting to and fro to catch sight of his friend. He spotted the fellow, waving his arm around to catch his attention, and he couldn't have smiled even wider as he made his way to the table.

 

"Hi," Yoochun breathed out, taking a seat on the high chair opposite the man.

 

"Hey yourself," Junsu grinned then waved his arm up to call a waiter or waitress to order their drinks: the usual Mojito for him and a French Martini for Yoochun. He didn't have to ask the man what he wanted; he knew Yoochun like how he knew the back of his hand. 

 

"How's work going for you?" Yoochun inquired with a smile while picking up the table napkin on the small round table and fiddling with it.

 

"Hectic as always," Junsu replied and sighed, "I need a vacation."

 

"You always say that," Yoochun laughed, the sound oddly addicting to Junsu's ears and a smile worked its way up Junsu's lips.

 

"How about you? Have you started writing?" Junsu inquired this time. Yoochun visibly frowned at that and shook his head "no", which Junsu wasn't really happy about.

 

He knew the other was having a difficult time to return to writing again and the writer's block has been going on for a while, or so Yoochun told him. The cause for his writer's block, Junsu didn't know. Yoochun never told him and he didn't really want to delve into that and possibly pierce something tender and fragile by mistake. It was best that Yoochun would tell him when the time came and he knew the other man would if he felt ready to.

 

"That's too bad... It'll come back, though, I'm sure of it," Junsu said, smiling in comfort, "I don't know much about being an author but the right moment will come. Maybe you haven't found that inspiration yet."

 

"Maybe so..." the other nodded with a hesitant smile.

 

Courtesy of Junsu, the topic of conversation easily veered away from that and went on to a happier one: middle school and high school memories. In between fits of laughter, Junsu animatedly talked about how he and a bunch of his friends teamed up to pull the ultimate prank on their homegroup teacher one April Fool's day, only to get pranked on in return with a more clever one.

 

Yoochun shared one of his own memories; a more shallow but a very fond memory of his; where he and his small group of friends used to hang around at the school rooftop even if students weren't allowed to get up there. He didn't know what the area really meant to his friends but to Yoochun, it wasn't just for hanging around but it also became a space for him to unwind and momentarily forget his worries.

 

Somehow, the conversation changed again to past relationships. It was at this point that Yoochun was at his third slightly alcoholic cocktail as he listened to Junsu recollect the memories of his first relationship during the last few years of his high school life. Junsu reminisced the embarrassing first kiss he shared with a girl he'd been admiring from afar, only to accidentally stumble and step on her toe as they kissed. However, he quickly added that she didn't mind the little accident since it was memorable that way. He also told Yoochun how she was so quiet and reserved from the outside but was just as cheerful and playful once he got to know her even more.

 

Just like Yoochun, Junsu unconsciously thought to himself as he stared at Yoochun for a few seconds too much before he blinked in surprise. The origins of that thought, Junsu didn't know. As if sensing Junsu's disturbed thoughts, Yoochun creased his eyebrows in worry.

 

"Is everything alright?" he asked in worry just as Junsu looked away. Junsu said nothing but shook his head in dismissal nonetheless. Feeling as if Junsu must be hurting inside due to having lost the girl he first loved, Yoochun felt as if he should tell one of his own. After all, it was only fair since Junsu shared one of his beloved memories, despite the sad unspoken ending. Yoochun hoped to tell his story briefly but the liquor made a last minute change in his mind.

 

"I, too, had someone who I loved with my whole heart," Yoochun spoke, seeming to catch Junsu's attention even though the man continued to look elsewhere, "We met in my last year of college. We both completed the same degree, did the same majors but we were never in the same classes together. It was weird but it was like fate that on that particular day we had the same problem and went looking for help in the library at that exact same moment.

 

"We helped each other and it was like something... Something ignited. It was like we were old friends. We talked about stupid things and laughed until we couldn't breathe. We had so much fun that we exchanged contact information and promised each other to meet up again.

 

"The next day, he called me to grab a coffee together so I went with him. From there, we continued to meet up and eventually, we pretty much did everything together. College camps, volunteering, fundraisers, you name it, we've done it all. Together. He was so easy to talk to and everything became even more fun with him around.

 

"Then we started dating, just before graduation, and I felt like I was the luckiest person ever. We went traveling for a month, just around the country, before settling into our jobs. We went on dinner dates after work and even went on long drives to nearby places when we had the time. I organized movie nights on the weekends, paid surprise visits to his office, and we kissed under the stars. He's so special to me that I kept writing and writing. He's my muse. He's my everything."

 

No.

 

"Well... Was until he dumped me for someone else," Yoochun bitterly added, frowning at the horrible memory. Junsu's ears perked up at the mention that Yoochun's past relationship was with a guy. He finally looked at the other in surprise.

 

"He?" he mumbled but loud enough for Yoochun's hearing to pick up. The man smiled sourly and looked away, too. He didn't want to see the disgusted look Junsu might give.

 

"Yeah... I dated a guy. But he started to like someone else. A girl. I knew I felt something odd. I knew that he was slowly slipping away but I thought it was just..." he sighed and swallowed, "an obstacle we could jump over together... But he left me on the other side. I lost everything... Then I couldn't write anymore..."

 

Junsu watched Yoochun, having no clue what to say but trying to force himself to say something. Anything. He bit his lip then pushed away his half-finished glass to the middle of the table and stood up. Without saying much, he quickly placed some bills on the table from his slacks pocket, grabbed Yoochun's hand, and left the bar.

 

Yoochun let himself be dragged, dodging past singles and couples alongside Junsu as he tried to catch up to the other. He thought that maybe Junsu would drag him out of the bar, push him away and yell at him but to his surprise, the man didn't.

 

Instead, they eventually arrived at a not-so-crowded street, in front of a very familiar cafe. Yoochun soon realized that they walked all the way to the cafe where he and Junsu first met. He thought the bar was pretty far from the cafe but apparently, it wasn't.

 

"What are we doing here?" he inquired. Finally, Junsu looked at him and his expression wasn't any bit of disgust nor disapproval like everyone else he encountered had when they learned about his relationship with a guy. Junsu showed... The opposite. There was pity, of course, but he looked as if he understood completely, even if Junsu never dated a guy before. Or, at least, from what Yoochun knew about the man. There was a little bit of something else, too, but Yoochun didn't know what.

 

"This was where we first met," Junsu stated. Yoochun creased his brows again, not really understanding what the other man meant by that.

 

"Junsu, maybe you've had too much to drink... Maybe it's time to go home..." Yoochun said, but Junsu tugged on their clasped hands. Yoochun forgot that they were still holding hands.

 

"I remember you looked lonely and bothered... Was it because of that guy?" Junsu asked, completely ignoring the other's polite suggestion of returning home.

 

Yoochun didn't say anything but his expression said a lot to Junsu. All of a sudden, he pulled Yoochun into a tight hug, catching the other completely off guard.

 

"It must have hurt, huh..." Junsu murmured, "Because suddenly, that one person who you spent so much time with and meant so much to you... Suddenly, he's gone."

 

Upon hearing those words, soon Junsu felt tears staining his suit. He was supposed to stop talking and end the topic there but for some reason, he couldn't. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was something else.

 

"Then you're left with this big gap... Empty and hollow," Junsu continued, rubbing soothing circles on Yoochun's back as the man quietly sobbed. "I can't imagine how difficult it must be to get back up on your own but it must have been so painful for you, especially since he was your inspiration."

 

Junsu felt the need to say more but it wasn't the time to tell the other man. First, Yoochun needed time to heal.

 

"Why did he leave me...?" Yoochun finally spoke in a small heartbroken voice, tears not seeming to stop from pooling out of his eyes. Junsu didn't reply because it wasn't his question to answer.

 

Instead, he rubbed soothing circles on the man's back, murmuring into his ear, "It's okay. I'm here, Yoochun-ah. I'm here."

 

Those words unknowingly sparked something in Yoochun's heart.

 

The next day, Yoochun found himself waking in a warm and cozy bed. He quickly registered that the bed nor the room he was in altogether wasn't his own so he sat up in confusion. Cautiously, he carefully stood from said bed and, as quietly as he could, walked out of the room and into the hallway. Immediately, the sound of cheerful barking filled the halls and soon enough, a large white dog happily trudged over to his side, demanding for attention. Yoochun easily recognized the dog as Xiahki, Junsu's beloved Samoyed.

 

"Good morning, Yoochun," Junsu's voice slightly echoed in the halls. Yoochun looked to the direction of the voice and found Junsu standing there at the far end of the hall, wearing a cream colored robe and the warmest smile he's ever seen on the man's face.

 

He was in Junsu's home.

 

What in the world even happened last night?

 

"Are you feeling better? I couldn't bring you to your home since I don't know where you live so I brought you into mine instead..." Junsu explained as if he was reading Yoochun's question-filled mind, "And, well, you said you didn't want to be left alone for the night, either."

 

He said that? Damn, Yoochun's face suddenly felt hot.

 

"O-Oh, umm... Th-Thank you," Yoochun stuttered, his eyes shifting elsewhere. Luckily, Xiahki was still demanding for Yoochun's attention and he gladly petted the dog, happy to have a little bit of distraction. Xiahki rolled over onto his back as he enjoyed the belly rubs. Junsu couldn't help but chuckle at the sight.

 

"Breakfast is ready, by the way," Junsu mentioned as he watched in amusement, "Come over when you're ready."

 

Yoochun nodded then watched Junsu walk away to return back down the hall to what Yoochun assumed as his kitchen and dining area. Seeming to have had enough of the belly rubs, Junsu's Samoyed quickly stood up and ran after his owner, leaving Yoochun to himself at the hallways.

 

He gathered up his courage and emotions, and headed to the same direction, appearing into view just as Junsu was placing two glasses on the dining table with a large carton of chilled orange juice.

 

Junsu smiled towards him, gesturing for the other to have a seat, "Let's eat." Yoochun did as he was told, seating himself on one of the chairs available with Junsu sitting across from him.

 

Breakfast was unusually quiet in contrast to their usual banter and conversations every time they had meals together. Yoochun didn't know if it was because of what happened the previous night or whether because it was the morning; he never had breakfast with Junsu before until then. This was definitely new.

 

Taking a peek, Junsu didn't seem to look bothered at the unusual silence between them. He seemed to understand the situation and didn't push it, which Yoochun was inwardly grateful for. Now that he thought about it, Junsu hadn't pushed the topic except that one time in the morning to check up on him. Yoochun wondered if Junsu knew how sweet he could be.

 

Did I just think about that? Yoochun thought then mentally slapped himself. He couldn't be falling in love with the guy, could he? Even if he was, what if he got rejected? Sure, he didn't seem fazed when Yoochun told his one and only love-story-turned-disaster, but still. Maybe Junsu was only being supportive as a friend. Snap out of it!

 

"Juice?" Junsu offered, popping Yoochun's thought bubble, "Or do you want coffee? It's instant though... I hope you don't mind that," Junsu then instantly got up to boil some water, thinking that maybe Yoochun preferred to have a cup of caffeine in the morning.

 

"Oh, no, thank you! Juice will do," Yoochun stopped him, feeling all flustered and jumpy. Junsu smiled and sat back down, digging into the rest of his breakfast in silence. The quiet didn't really seem to bother him in the slightest.

 

Yoochun bit his lip then, in the most fragile voice, said, "Thank you for letting me stay. I hope I wasn't a bother."

 

Junsu looked up from his bowl of oatmeal and fruits, blinking a few times as the words registered in his mind. He swallowed the chunk that was in his mouth and shook his head, scooping up the remnants of his oatmeal as he replied, "You didn't bother me at all, Yoochun. Stop fretting over it.

 

"Where's the old Yoochun I know?" he smiled that cheeky adorable smile. Automatically, Yoochun smiled, too, feeling better and relaxed.

 

Breakfast finished in a better atmosphere than how it started. The dishes were left in the sink to be dealt with later as Junsu had to leave early for work but he allowed Yoochun to stay in his home as long as he wanted. He even offered Yoochun to shower if he wanted to and to use any of his clothes in his closet.

 

"Don't forget to lock the doors when you leave," Junsu instructed him, "But if you're coming back, here's the spare key. Walk Xiahki at the park, if you want," then he smiled some before leaving Yoochun to his own in the confines of his cozy home.

 

Even though Junsu reiterated so many times to leave the dishes alone, Yoochun washed them anyway to repay his kindness, then sat on the couch in the living room to think. Xiahki, being the energetic dog he was, juggled between grabbing Yoochun's attention and trotting in and out the various rooms of the apartment. Restless himself, Yoochun decided to bring Xiahki with him to the park, but not before stopping by his apartment to pick up his Malamute and a few of his things.

 

Yoochun spent the rest of his day seated at a picnic bench at the park, finally typing away on his laptop after so many months, while the dogs played and bathed in the sun.

 

His muse. He's found it.

the author's words

I hope you enjoyed reading that! I've only got one simple request for you and that is to please comment down below about your thoughts :) It would be greatly appreciated ^^ Also, thank you to the sole subscriber who took the time to read the first chapter! I hope this story is goes to your liking ^^ Thank you to my silent readers, as well :)

< a tori creation >
posted: Dec. 16, 2015