Chapter 5

B.I’s POV

I gripped his hand, holding it dearly between my hands. I held it with hope. Hoping those eyes to open again. ‘’Mianhae June… Mianhaeyo… Can you ever forgive me?’’ I sniffed. It had been an hour here, me sniffing and pleading my heart out.

‘’No… I know she likes him!’’

I was sure of it.

‘’She wouldn’t admit anything about her life unless, she feels comfortable with the latter.’’

But pieces of truth barge in. I was just too dumb enough to know it.

‘’Second, yes, so far there’s no boy really closed to her except recently there’s somebody did.’’

F*** you c0ckblocker! F that namja! ,…

…me.

‘’I should not exist in your life, June. I should not exist from all of you guys’ life from the start. Look what have I done. When I exist, your life started to crumble down, again. I know you were doing fine without me. You will always do. I never been a helper. I have never been a great friend. All I know, my presence, they just bring a hammer to smash you down.’’ I stare at the unconscious body lying on the bed. There was still no movement. I gritted my teeth.

‘’What is the best for now? Tell me June! You’re a smart kid! I know you know! Ppali wa June-ya. Ppali! Open those dam eyes! Tell us that you’re fine. If not for me. For them, for everyone else. F me!’’

He was still not moving. I closed my eyes tightly as a river soon fall from it. It hurts me badly, knowing that I’m the one causing trouble. ‘’All I want is the best for all… Why it must happen like this?’’ I whispered in a miserable tone.

I lean on the back of the chair. I wasn’t that strong. I’m not strong. Even I have this beautiful biceps, it doesn’t show that I’m strong inside. It doesn’t show what I’m inside. ‘’June, should I continue with the group even though it’s temporary? Even temporary things can leave a permanent impact. Because history won’t change. Is it the best for me to leave and you all will live like you should be? Pretend I never exist. Yeah, this all because of me exist. It’s the best, right June?’’

‘’Aniya! It’s not the best at all!’’ I flinched and turn my back just to see y/n at the door. I was confused. Isn’t it still learning time? She should be at the 2^nd class now rather than standing there. ‘’Why are you here?’’ I asked while doing a straight face. She walked and sat on the other chair, sitting at the opposite area of the bed. ‘’I’m here to take care of Junhoe.’’ She said than stare at me. I can see she forces herself to look at me, acting all that ‘brave’ because her cheeks were on fire. With her bright flawless skin, I can see her blushing.  

‘’Then, my work here is done.’’ I casually said and stood up from my seat. ‘’U-uh, where are you going?’’ She asked in hesitant. ‘’Maybe stroll around. What you care?’’ I asked in my most arrogant tone I have ever used. ‘’I-I don’t care about y-you pabo! I just care about J-Jun-hoe.’’ She said then starting to caress his hair.

I looked at it in disgust. Being the arrogant one, I started to leave the room. ‘’Yah!’’ She quickly went after me. ‘’Hajima!’’ Her hand quickly grip my wrist. I turn my head slowly to her. ‘’What do you want?’’ I asked. ‘’Please don’t go.’’ She pleaded while staring at my hand that she’s holding. ‘’Wae?’’

‘’B-because… Who’s gonna take care of Junhoe?’’ She hesitant in answering. Heh, yeah right. ‘’You here. Take care that senpai of yours.’’ I said and harshly take my hand from the grip. She widened her eyes and looked at me. Her eyes were really beady that it might break. I ignored and walked away but stop, just to say this shocking words, ‘’By the way, I know everything. Forget me. Ignore me. Imagine I have never exist. Because…’’I looked at her with a straight face yet an aching heart, ‘’I will do the same thing to you.’’

There I go. All alone. Maybe I will be a nobody again, but that’s for the best.

Y/n’s POV

‘’I will do the same thing to you.’’ I broke to tears. I covered my mouth. It was too much hurt. I felt my knees went limp, unable to support my body again. I kneeled down. I gazed in front of me, he wasn’t there. He already left, me. I hear footsteps and wild noises. I didn’t care at all. ‘’Donghyuk-ah. Who’s that?’’ I hear a voice but I ignore it.

‘’I don’t know. Let’s go and check.’’ I know that voice. It’s Kim Donghyuk! I tried to stand up and ran away from him. ‘’Donghyuk, she’s running away!’’ I hear them becaming more close. Shoot I’m too slow and weak. ‘’Yah hajima… Y/n noona?’’ Donghyuk asked in disbelief.

‘’He’s temperature seems fine a bit now.’’ Donghyuk stated after feeling Junhoe’s forehead and neck. ‘’Oh thank God. Finally a good news.’’ Yunhyeong said in grateful voice. Every one of them were there. They sacrificing their most beloved recess just to take care of Junhoe. I felt touched by their friendship and loyalty but it made me felt guiltier as well.

The door to the room suddenly open. Jinhwan peeked his head from the door. ‘’This is the room right?’’ He looked at everyone and finally went in fully. ‘’Sorry I’m late. Got release late and thought would by something to munch for a bit.’’ The faces of the other 4 went light a bit. Jinhwan being the oldest gave each one of them bread. ‘’Oh, oishii!’’ Bobby suddenly squealed to the just 100 worth won bread or less. Maybe they are too hungry because they never skip recess.

‘’This is yours, y/n.’’ Jinhwan said while handing me over the bread with his sweetest smile. I smiled. ‘’No thanks. I’m not hungry.’’ Jinhwan was surprised. ‘’You should eat y/n. You must be hungry now.’’ He looked at me with concerns. ‘’It’s ok. I don’t have the appetite to eat now.’’ ‘’Than eat later. Take this bread.’’ He said and put the bread between my hands. ‘’Gomawo oppa.’’ I thanked him.

‘’Is there anything happen?’’ the petite oppa asked, like he knows something happened. I bit my lips. ‘’Don’t worry, you can trust me, y/n.’’ he gave me the assure smile. ‘’Arasso.’’ I said and grab his hand, bringing him out from the nurse office.

‘’Hanbin said that?’’ Jinhwan oppa asked in disbelief. I just nodded. ‘’Oh my…’’ Jinhwan rubbed his face. ‘’He still weak. He still have doubt in his presence or why he exist. He still keep telling he’s the reason why, he’s the wrong. HanB.In is still trapped inside.  I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to reassure him to continue living his dreams because of dreams, love and friendship exist along the way.’’ Jinhwan said in devastated tone.

‘’But in dreams, there are also nightmares. Something that keep us from moving forward. But since we exist and try to living in our dreams, we have to face all of it. Fear and obstacle, hardships and hatred. But in the end, if we achieve, it all become worth it.’’ I continued. Jinhwan looked at me in surprise. I looked at him. ‘’Isn’t that right Jinhwan oppa?’’ I asked. ‘’You absolutely are.’’ He said with a proud smile.

I stood up. ‘’Don’t worry Jinhwan oppa. I will try my best to show him what is the best for him, for all of us.’’ I said while giving him a hope that I’m not sure will happen or not but I won’t stop achieving it. Because the reason we exist in this cruel world is to achieve our dreams. It’s just whether if we’re determine to achieve it or to just sunk in nightmares. ‘’Gomawo y/n.’’ I stood up and was about to take my leave when I was stop by his words, ‘’Every living things have their own rights. Don’t stop liking him, y/n because it’s your feelings. Don’t worry. One day, Junhoe will also find his. Don’t feel guilty. Remember what you said? This one of the obstacles. Going through it to achieve the dreams.’’ Jinhwan reminded me and it did motivate me, making me felt less guilty.

I turned around and went hugging him. ‘’Gomawo oppa. Gomawo.’’ I said while tears slowly forming at the edge of my eyes. He hugged me back. ‘’No worries. All of us are like a family. Must help one another. There, there.’’ He caressed my back gently. It felt like a console from a loving brother. Now, I understand why they like his comforts. He may always being bullied by his dongsaengs but when it comes to comforts he’s the best. And now, I’m determine to help them. To help this missing family. That’s the biggest dream that I have to achieve. This is my biggest priority for the family. Don’t worry HanB.In, you will be free.

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A/N: OMO! Mianhae!!! I’m so sorry… I’ve been hiatus for a long time… It’s just work and assignments are too much and I have a pack schedule! I will try my best to update. I hope this chapter will make it up… I’m just, I’m so sorry… I’m also been stress with my life. A lot of conflicts happen and I can sense a break up in my gang and it made me sad :’((… That’s why this story is a bit too about friendship and dreams. It also has motivations that I kept telling to myself to be strong and focus. I hope u understands… Thank u for all the supports that u gave me. You make me determine to update… Thank u so much… Comment if there is any unsatisfying or something you want to talk about.. Tq and have a good day.

p/s: I recommend to hear Just Go while reading this chap and the before one. I dk… Or sth sad like Come back Home? Bcuz it gave a great impact like me while writhing this engheheh….

 And another p/s: u might find this story at watpad. Don’t accuse of a copier! It’s actually my cousin. She already asked me and I gave her to copy mine. And she might do her own ending so check her out! She’s awesome!

And the last p/s: sorry this a bit short. I kind of having a flu so yeh. Hachoo! Im so sorry :’=--(((

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