pariring: kai x d.o
word count: 3.5k+
warning: mpreg, possible typos and ugh, grammar.

hey santa,.

Kyungsoo celebrated Christmas for the first time when he was five. His parents came home one night with a small pine tree and put it in the living room. Kyungsoo tugged on her mother’s coat and asked why they were bringing a small tree into the house. Her mother replied: ‘it’s Christmas!’ with so much glee.

Kyungsoo liked Christmas, although he never really understood the meaning behind it. But whatever it was, Christmas was enchanting. He loved seeing the sight of Christmas lights hung on trees and just any buildings or houses he passed whenever he made his way back from school. The cookies and gingerbread his mother baked were also his favorites. But nothing was as awesome as Santa Claus.

Kyungsoo was seven when he learned about Santa Claus. Chanyeol, his noisy cousin, described him as a white-breaded man wearing red coat and hat. Oh and also, a big tummy. Kyungsoo imagined that Santa was a creeper instead; especially Chanyeol said that they came to houses to give a lot of gifts. But the giving a lot of gifts part amused him. His mother told him to be a good kid and Santa Claus would come to deliver the gift for him.

He was nine when he, for the first time, met Santa. It was only a dream, he knew, but sweet Jesus, he got a whole lot of toys he had written in the wish list. Kyungsoo knew it was his parents who bought him the toys but Kyungsoo had been a good kid for the past two years and Santa might have rewarded him through his parents. So Kyungsoo believed that Santa was somehow real.

“That’s stupid, hyung.”

Jongin laughed it off. Jongin was a nice person; he was his new neighbor that just moved into the house next door last year. They were only one year apart and it only took them a few days to stick like glue. Not to mention, Jongin went to the same school as him and the both of them had a lot of things in common. But there was one thing Kyungsoo didn’t like about Jongin. The sun-kissed twelve years old thought Christmas was just an ordinary winter holiday.

And, Jongin kept calling him stupid for believing in Santa when he was already thirteen.

So Kyungsoo took Jongin to his backyard and gave him small notebook with ‘The Wish List’ written on the cover. Jongin thought it was really cliché and stupid but his beloved hyung forced him to write one so he did. It was messily written but Jongin couldn’t care less.

Hey Santa, can you fix my Xbox? Uh it’s broken… lol. - Jongin

Kyungsoo peeked over Jongin’s shoulder, curious of what he had written and he instantly hit Jongin’s head with his pen. He scolded him for being ill mannered towards Santa and Jongin could only roll his eyes at him. Jongin really wanted to tell him that they were not five anymore but the younger didn’t want to hurt Kyungsoo’s fragile heart. Jongin wished his hyung would hit puberty soon so he would forget this stupid theory of nonexistent man.

Kyungsoo was fifteen when his parents brought home a large Christmas tree, which was twice his size and it was beautiful. Kyungsoo was eager to decorate the tree, putting the ornaments in metallic blue, red and green carefully. There was also a Christmas wreath hung on their front door. Jongin even helped him in decorating the Do Residence. Kyungsoo was happy that Jongin seemed to like Christmas a bit more although he would never admit it. Kyungsoo knew that Jongin still kept the book he gave two years ago.

At one sharp in the afternoon, the Kim family rang their doorbell and Kyungsoo welcomed them in, leading them to the dining table. It was all Kyungsoo’s idea. He thought it was nice for the both families to have lunch on December 25. And their parents didn’t seem to mind either.

Jongin looked good in his tartan shirt. That messy kid looked a little more mature than usual and Kyungsoo couldn’t stop himself from stealing glances once in awhile. It was a good thing that Jongin didn’t catch him staring or else the younger would start teasing him about it with a smug smile on.

Kyungsoo was eighteen and Jongin was seventeen. Jongin was much taller than him and Kyungsoo would always sulk whenever Jongin about his height. They were still as close as before, but there were something more than that. Although unspoken, it was there. The spark, that not only the two of them but everyone could also feel the same thing whenever they were together. Was it friendship, lust or perhaps love? Jongin told Kyungsoo that he would also enroll in the same university as him in Seoul. Kyungsoo only laughed it off and told Jongin to study harder then. Well, it was a promise and Jongin kept it.

Kyungsoo was nineteen when he and Jongin came home from Seoul because of winter break, only to find his house as dark as the rumored haunted house in the block. He tried to search for his parents but found no one there. He decided to go to the Kims’ house and asked whether they knew where his parents were or not.

“I’m sorry Kyungsoo. Your parents had a car accident two days ago. We tried to contact you two but we couldn’t reach you.”

“How did this happen?! Where are they?!”

Jongin tried to calm Kyungsoo off by placing his hands on his shoulders, squeezing them gently. But Kyungsoo couldn’t just relax. If only his phone was not stolen. If only Jongin didn’t change his phone number.

“Your mother… she passed away this morning. Your father is still in coma.”

It was not long until his father passed away. Forty-eight hours after his mother’s death, his father seemed to want to follow her, leaving Kyungsoo all alone. Kyungsoo looked like a real life zombie. He would wake up in the noon, staring into space for good fifteen minutes before going to the kitchen to get himself another ramen cup. He didn’t even shower or brush his teeth.

For the first time, Kyungsoo celebrated Christmas alone. Jongin managed to get into his house because of the spare key but Kyungsoo had locked himself up in his room. Jongin was there for two nights but Kyungsoo was stubborn. He only opened his door when he knew Jongin was no longer in the house.

It was not that long until Jongin came back into his house and barged into his room with force. Kyungsoo widened his eyes out of surprise. Not only that Jongin just broke his door but he was currently half and he looked like he had been living in the wild. Gosh, the smell that Jongin had to bear.

“Hyung, I’m serious. Get out of this room and shower. Then we will talk.”

Kyungsoo didn’t comply at first but Jongin couldn’t give up now. He lifted Kyungsoo up with ease, noticing how lighter the older had gotten. Jongin brought Kyungsoo to the bathroom and kicked the door open before putting him down.

“If you are not going to shower, I will do it for you.”

Kyungsoo didn’t say anything and slammed the door shut.

An hour passed and Kyungsoo finally came out of the bathroom, looking fresh yet still emotionless. He was thankful that Jongin was not in his room anymore since he forgot to bring the clothes along to the bathroom. After putting on an oversized sweater with training pants, he came down to the living room and found Jongin watching a chick flick romance drama.

Once Jongin noticed his presence, he pulled Kyungsoo to sit down next to him. Kyungsoo was startled but he was a quiet as a statue. Jongin was sad to see his hyung had changed so much but he was not planning to leave Kyungsoo alone in misery.

“You need to stop this hyung. It’s not healthy. You even missed a Christmas hyung!”

No response was given.

“Hyung, do you think your parents will be happy to see you like this? You are not alone hyung. We are a family. My family is also your family.”

Kyungsoo didn’t move an inch.

“Do Kyungsoo, move on.”

This time, Kyungsoo lifted his head to stare at Jongin.

“You don’t understand how I feel, Jongin. Have you ever lost your parents? Have you ever lost the only family you have? It’s easy for you to say because you don’t know how I feel!” Kyungsoo shouted and it was the first time the older spoke after a long time.

Jongin kept his mouth shut for the time being, knowing that Kyungsoo still had more things to say.

“I- I had been a good boy, Jongin. I wrote a letter to Santa. No, I wrote five freaking pages! I-I only asked my parents back. I asked what were mine! Was it too much to ask? Jongin, why did Santa not give them back to me? Why did they take them away?”

Kyungsoo’s voice was shaky and his eyes were already clouded with fluids. Tears were streaming down carelessly. He even choked out a sob. And Jongin was speechless. He shouldn’t had left Kyungsoo alone. He should had barged into his room earlier, embraced him and told him he would be okay. The only thing he could do was pulling Kyungsoo into a hug and let him cry until the older fell asleep.

The next morning, Jongin wake up earlier. He left the couch and laid Kyungsoo’s body gently. He ran into his house and came back after ten minutes, bringing a nicely packed breakfast.

Jongin sat on the floor with his legs folded, watching Kyungsoo who was still in a deep sleep. His eyes were still swollen from last night but Kyungsoo had never looked so peaceful after a long time. He caressed his cheek gently, as if afraid of breaking a priceless masterpiece. Kyungsoo was indeed a beautiful masterpiece. When Jongin leaned down to kiss Kyungsoo on the forehead, Kyungsoo happened to open his eyes. It shocked Jongin and the younger one quickly looked away.

Kyungsoo chuckled. Damn, Kyungsoo finally smiled! Jongin didn’t know whether he should feel proud or embarrassed at the moment so he got up and went to the kitchen to get two plates.

“I… I brought you breakfast,” Jongin mumbled and sat next to Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo nodded and took the plate Jongin prepared, thanking him before stuffing the bibimbap hungrily. Kyungsoo had missed the taste of rice. Jongin, who saw this, only stared at him in amusement. Kyungsoo had always had a big appetite anyway.

After washing the dishes together, Jongin dragged Kyungsoo back to the couch. He sat him down and cupped his cheeks, giving him such an intense stare that got Kyungsoo dazed. Jongin finally softened his gaze, afraid that he made the older scared. His hands which were on Kyungsoo's shoulders made a smalls squeeze so that the older didn't have to be so stiff.

“Today is a new day, a new year, a new start for you. Please, hyung. We are sad to see you like that. We will welcome you to our family. You still have us, hyung.”

Kyungsoo bit his lower lips. “But Jongin, I don’t want them to think that I forget them. I can’t forget them.”

Jongin shook his head violently. “Hyung, moving on doesn’t mean forgetting. Moving on means you know that you won’t live in the past anymore and they will be part of your history. They are there but they are in the past. You got to start anew with me, with us.”

Kyungsoo broke down into tears again. Why did it take him so long to realize that Jongin was there? That he was not completely alone? Kyungsoo jumped onto Jongin and hugged him tightly. The tanned male was embarrassed at the sudden action but he returned the hug.

Kyungsoo really wanted to have a new start, with Jongin.

Kyungsoo was twenty when he found something familiar in Jongin’s room. Honestly, he was not planning to look but the book was opened and he accidentally caught his name being written on it. Taking a little peak wouldn’t hurt right?

Kyungsoo took the book, which he recognized to be The Wish List book. Kyungsoo never thought that Jongin would still use the book. He expected the kid had thrown it away.

Hey Santa,

We are not going home for Christmas this year. We decided to spend it together here since I don’t want him to be reminded with his parents. Kyungsoo hyung, I’m looking forward to it!

Kyungsoo smiled bitterly at the mention of his parents but he quickly brushed it off. He chuckled at Jongin’s writing though. Do you think this is a diary, Jongin?

Kyungsoo flipped the page backward and started to read again.

Hey Santa,

I’m quite excited because I just became a freshman and I managed to get into the same university as Kyungsoo hyung! Damn, I must be so lucky. I wish all the best Christmas for Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo frowned. Why did Jongin always mention his name? Shouldn’t he write his wishes rather than his name? But Kyungsoo flipped another page backward.

Hey Santa,

Ah, it was sad that I had to send Kyungsoo off a few months ago. But I’m going to see him soon! Santa, please give me the courage to tell him.

‘Tell me what?’ Kyungsoo thought but before he could flip another page, the book was being snatched away from his grip. Kyungsoo was surprised to see a fuming Jongin in front of him. His ears and face were red, either from embarrassment or anger, or both.

“What are you doing?!”

Kyungsoo stepped back a little. Jongin had never shouted at him before. His expression was something he had never seen before and Kyungsoo was scared. He knew he was being impudent.

“I-I’m sorry, Jongin… I-I’m just happy that you still kept that book. I know I shouldn’t have read anything but yes I’m sorry!” he put his head down.

Jongin softened his face muscle and sighed. He shouldn’t have shouted. He stomped his feet and left the apartment for four days and counting.

Kyungsoo was worried. He kept trying to call Jongin but the younger turned off his phone. He was in the verge of crying. He didn’t know why Jongin reacted this way but he was still wrong at one point. He thought it would be better if he got scolded rather than got worried over this matter.

Kyungsoo couldn’t spot him in the campus either. It was like Jongin was totally gone. He couldn’t bear to lose someone important again; especially it was Kim Jongin, the man whom he admitted he had feelings for.

It was Christmas Eve. It meant it had been a week since Jongin left their apartment. Kyungsoo would always sleep on the couch every night, hoping to see Jongin back. That night was cold and lonely. Time was ticking and Kyungsoo was still waiting with a cup of hot chocolate in his hands. It was Jongin’s favorite.

When the desk clock showed that it was nine thirty, there was a loud knock on the door. Who would come over this late? Must be Jongin! Must be Jongin! He jumped off the couch and sprinted to the door eagerly, almost tripping.

When Kyungsoo opened the door, he was met with the old security guard. He informed Kyungsoo that there would be a power outage in the whole building on the twenty-sixth of December. Kyungsoo only nodded dumbly and kicked the door closed.

Kyungsoo sighed and made his way back to the living room. He sat on the carpeted floor instead of the couch, hugging his knees and burying his face between. His shoulders were shaking, the honey skinned male was crying. It was already past eleven and Kyungsoo was still hoping for Jongin’s presence before the day ended.

Eleven forty-one and there was once again a knock on the door. Kyungsoo was half-asleep. He lifted his head, quickly wiping the trace of dried tears on his face. He couldn’t get his hopes too so the door was opened lifelessly, as if he had no muscles to move.

His jaw fell opened when he saw a white-breaded man with red coat and hat. It was the man that Kyungsoo believed to grant his wishes. It was just like how Chanyeol described, oh, without the big tummy.

“Ho… ho… ho?”

It was awkward, totally. Kyungsoo almost laughed. But he didn’t. He jumped onto him, like last time, and Santa embraced him in a warm hug. Kyungsoo was already sobbing on his chest, making the outfit wet.

“Uh, hyung… Can we go in first?” Santa finally said after awhile.

Kyungsoo nodded and pulled away from the hug, quickly pulling the Santa into his house.

“Santa Claus, I have wanted to meet you! I had been a good boy,” Kyungsoo started jokingly and Santa laughed at it.

Kyungsoo giggled and nodded before he continued, “Yes, but why did I have double sad Christmas? It was so unfair!”

A cute pout formed on his lips.

“They took my loved ones from me. First, it was my parents, and then Kim Jongin. Why me?”

The Santa widened his eyes. “You… love Kim Jongin?!”

Kyungsoo nodded dumbly, putting on an innocent look. “Yes, he is the best out of the best.”

“Oh.”

Kyungsoo laughed at the cold response and slapped Jongin’s chest. Jongin winced in pain and whined. “What was that for?!”

“Where did you go? Why did you go? And why are you dressed like this? You are too thin for a Santa Claus!”

Jongin pouted and took off the hat. He threw his body the couch and Kyungsoo followed after. “I need time to think hyung. And I tried, okay? The security guard thought I was a robber or something!”

Kyungsoo raised his brows in confusion. “Think about what?”

Jongin didn’t know if Kyungsoo was playing dumb or he really didn’t know. “Didn’t you read my book, hyung?”

Kyungsoo bit his lower lips. “You mean your diary?”

Jongin huffed at him and denied, “It’s not a diary!”

Kyungsoo held back his laughter. He didn’t want the younger to run away again. “Well, spill it.”

Jongin took a deep breath. It was the time. It was the right time. He had been waiting to be given courage to tell and he thought he was ready. He knew the consequence and he was ready.

“Hyung, we met as childhood friends. We did almost everything together. I’m not sure when did it happen but I started seeing you as a man. The feelings grew each day. It was the hardest time for me when I had to see you leave Busan. I worked my off to get into the same university as you, and I did it hyung.”

“I have been… in love with you all this time,” Jongin mumbled with his head hung low.

Kyungsoo felt his breath taken away when Jongin finished his sentence. He had his lips slightly parted, until he felt them getting dry. Jongin, who got no response, assumed that Kyungsoo was trying hard to reject him without hurting his feeling.

Jongin lifted his head up and gave a bitter smile. “Hyung, it’s alright. You don’t have-“

Jongin couldn’t complete his sentence because a pair of lips was pressed against his own. The soft and plump lips that Jongin managed to get taste of once when the older was sleeping. Jongin didn’t hesitate anymore to pull Kyungsoo closer, hugging him by the waist tightly. Their lips moved in sync, no tongue was involved. It was one pure kiss the two had been dreaming of. It was perfect. That Christmas was perfect.

Kyungsoo was twenty-six when he could celebrate Christmas for the second time with his own family again. Soojin barely turned five months and Kyungsoo already dressed her in a Santa Claus outfit. Their baby girl was beautiful yet strong and quite manly at some point. She could be easily mistaken as a boy if it was not because of the floral dresses.

It was one blissful morning. Jongin and Kyungsoo exchanged their presents for each other and also… the wish list book. It had been a routine every Christmas for them to show what they had written on Christmas Eve.

“I told you to write with ‘dear’ or at least a ‘hi’!” Kyungsoo scolded the younger, again.

“Damn it, Kyung! It’s too cheesy! And it’s not a diary!”

The Kim household was never quiet. Bickering at one moment and then giggling like lovesick fools not long after. It was not perfect, but perfect.

Hey Hi, Santa.

We decided to use one wish list book ever since… this year. Or next year, I don’t know. We thought it will be better since we are one (too cheesy Jong!) now and we have a new member, Soojin! We wish for God to bless our child. We also wish we can be the best parents for her, watching over her every day until sh becomes a wonderful grown-up.

P.S. hyung we should stop doing this. I’m serious.

P.S.S. shut up, you enjoy this too.

P.S.S.S. No I don’t! Hyung come on.

P.S.S.S.S. we will stop once Soojin is old enough to write so we can pass this tradition.

P.S.S.S.S.S. Alright! I will teach her as soon as possible.

P.S.S.S.S.S.S. whatever Jongin, she is still five… months. Lol.

first couple is up! sorry if you are expecting more... uh don't get your hope high ;; anyway, i'm sorry if some of you misunderstand some parts. i only accept hunhan, baekyeol, and kaisoo but if you have any prompts you want to read, i can try writing it. : ) enjoy!