I wanted to tell him that I'd never had a friend, not ever, not a real one. Until Jia Er. I wanted to tell him that I never knew that people like him existed in the world. I wanted to tell him that he had changed my life and that I would never be the same, not ever. I wanted to tell him that he was the first human being aside from my mother who had ever made me want to talk about the things that scared me. I wanted to tell him so many things and yet I didn't have the words. 

Just like that both their mysteries were solved. Jia Er had found his cap back and Yi En found the owner of the snapback. The first few seconds they continued to stare at each other in amazement and confussion. Quick after that they both started asking each other questions about that night. Laughing about how this odd situation had come to happen. Jia Er felt a little stupid how he had not noticed Yi En wearing his own snapback before. Even on school. It somehow seemed as if fate had planned this out for them. If his mother wouldn't have been hospitalized, if Yi En wouldn't have come with him, and if Jia Er wouldn't have stayed over they would've never found out about this. He placed the cap on Yi En's head and smiled.

'' Continue to take good care of it. '' 

The next morning they went to school as usual. Yi En woke up a little earlier because he had to walk the dog. When he returned Jia Er had already washed up and was eating breakfast that his mother had made. Yi En joined him. His mother had made lunch for both of them even though Jia Er had told her he didn't want to be a bother and that he could've bought something in the cafetaria. She disagreed as if it was his own mother. They took the bus since they had left their bikes at school yesterday. They knew that they both didn't like taking the bus. But taking it together wasn't as bad as they thought.

Class wasn't any different. Only Jia Er's so called friends asked why he had suddenly left yesterday. He made up an excuse about not feeling well. No one seemed interested in Yi En's absence. The teacher knew that the two of them would stay behind in class when lunchbreak would start. So he took the chance to ask how Jia Er was doing and if his mother was alright. It was the first time he experienced that a teacher was actually genuinely concerned and interested. Most of his previous teachers didn't consider this as part of their job, they were rarely involved with their students. 

 
Spring, Year 3.

Christmas and Chinese new year had ended and it was the 1st of March. The first day of Spring. They had spend their Christmas and Chinese new year together. Both their parents had met and became good friends in a short amount of time. So Yi En's house quickly felt as Jia Er's second home, and the other way around. They had spend a lot of time on Yi En's bedroom floor. Both laying side by side with Coco in the middle. Who they often used as a pillow and didn't seem to mind this. Yi En would read his favorite books and Jia Er would ask him to recite parts from it. It was a waste. Jia Er thought. For someone who didn't talk a lot, to have such a pleasant voice.

Jia Er had distanced himself from the classmates he usually hung out with. They spoke, but rarely. They also noticed he was spending more time with Yi En, who they knew as Mark. Jia Er and Yi En were the only ones who didn't call each other by their english name. Yi En usually didn't pay much attention to the nasty remarks they made in class, except this time. It was the first time they had made fun of Jia Er in the middle of class. He wasn't a native korean so he often made mistakes when he had to read in front of the class. They both heard it. Barelly audiable for the teacher in the front but loud enough to be heard and laughed about. Stupid foreigner. Before he realised what he was doing Yi En stood up from his seat. Words were spilling from his mouth that no one could understand. Besides Jia Er because it was Chinese. They all turned their heads, staring and gaping at him. Probably because he hardly ever spoke, and now that he did it was something they couldn't understand. Though by the sound of it and the way he said it they realised it wasn't something nice. Jia Er was the first one to turn around, amazed. Not because the boy had spoken but because he was actually standing up for him. The boy who never spoke in class that had become his close friend. Before the teacher could controll his class the student who had made the nasty remark stood up from his desk. He wasn't stupid enough to realise it was directed towards him. 

'' Hey, what the hell did you just say to me, foreigner? '' 

He had moved towards Yi En's desk and seemed as if he wanted to hit him in the face. Bullies were cowards, but unpredictable cowards. Jia Er placed one hand against his classmates chest as a sign to back off and the other firmly on Yi En's shoulder, pushing him back in his seat. He looked into Yi En's eyes and spoke back to him in Chinese. Their classmates whispered to each other, amazed and confused. The teacher silenced his class, ordering the students to get back to their work. The student that was still standing was glaring furiously at Yi En before returning to his seat.

In the end they both laughed about the situation. This time they went to the school roof instead of staying behind in class when lunchbreak started. A lot more people came to the roof when it was nice weather. Each day was like this. They had made their own little group in the class. With only the two of them. 

Jia Er had changed Yi En's life and the other way around. They had changed each other. Jia Er having a little more trust in the people around him and Yi En learning to controll his thoughts and feelings by being with Jia Er. They often knew each others thoughts without speaking. Although it was hard for Jia Er not to speak. The past year Yi En had learned that the boy loved talking. A lot. Even if it was about the most boring things. And Jia Er knew it was the opposite for Yi En. Though he had noticed that the more comfortable he was the more he would speak. And he liked it. A lot.


Late-Spring, Year 3.

The days had turned sunnier and the sky more blue with summer just around the corner. But the past two weeks didn't feel as sunny for Yi En. Coco had been sick for the past two weeks, not wanting to touch his water or food. They went to the vet, who said it was because of his old age. Jia Er knew about this but not how bad it actually was. He didn't know Yi En had put a sleeping bag downstairs so he could be with Coco and he didn't know he hadn't slept much the past weeks. Jia Er had to practice fencing each evening now that the summer tournaments had started. There wasn't much time to visit Yi En. But the boy didn't blame him for it. Although he wanted to tell Jia Er he was scared. His dog that he had spend many years with. Comforting him in his loneliest times. Telling him all his secrets even when he knew he wouldn't say anything back. He was scared because he could feel what was laying ahead.

Another week had passed and Yi En tried his best not to doze off. He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He looked on his screen and saw a text from his mother. A heavy feeling dropped on his shoulders. He opened it underneath his desk so his phone wouldn't be visible. It was a short message from his mother, knowing her that she didn't want to interupt his classes by calling him. He read it again. And again. Until his phone slipped out of his fingers and fell on the floor. His head still bend, staring at his now empty hand. Everyone looked in his direction, the teacher turning around from the blackboard and Jia Er turning around in his seat. His eyes stung and he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. Before he'd embarrass himself he ran out the classroom. Leaving his phone on the floor. His classmates were mumbling between each other while the teacher tried to silence them. Jia Er picked up Yi En's phone, unlocking it. Revealing the text that had been opened. His heart sunk. He shoved the phone in his pocket and told the teacher he was going to check on Yi En. The teacher knew they were close, and even if he would've tried to stop Jia Er it would've been useless. So he simply agreed and continued class.

He had no idea where to look for Yi En as he ran through hallways. But his first guess was the right place. The rooftop. Just like the first time he had actually spoken to him, Yi En was crouched down against the wall. His head bend down in his arms, shoulders shaking. Without any hesitation he walked towards Yi En, crouching down in front of him. The boy had probably felt his presence, but didn't look up. Jia Er gently took hold of Yi En's wrists that were so much more thinner than his own and moved away from his face. His head still bend down. His eyes looked tired and red and his face tear-streaked. It was the purest and saddest thing he had ever seen. So he sat down next to him against the wall and put an arm around the boy. His hand Yi En's hair who leaned in closer against him, resting his head against Jia Er's shoulder. Staining his uniform with tears that wouldn't stop. But Jia Er didn't mind one bit.

The house felt emptier without Coco's presence. Everyone was mourning over the loss of their dog. But it was Yi En who had the hardest time. No matter where he looked, the memories of Coco were still lingering around. Jia Er would come to his house when he finished his fencing practices even when he was tired. He would stay over and try to cheer him up. But when Yi En felt like crying, he let him. They would sit on his bed and he would simply put an arm around him just like Yi En did when he comforted him. In the end Yi En would fall asleep against him. Jia Er felt ashamed for not noticing sooner how exhausted Yi En had become the past weeks from worrying so much. In the end they had both fallen asleep on Yi En's bed. It had become a habit for both of them to share Yi En's bed after those weeks. Even if it was warm with the upcoming summer nights, it wasn't uncomfortable. 

'' Are you sure you know what you're doing..? '' 

'' Of course! It's Wang Jia Er you're talking about here. '' 

'' Yeah. That's exactly why-- '' 

'' Heyyyyy. Ah, stay stiiiill! '' 

A few months ago the blond color in Yi En's hair had finally dissapeared and his hair was his natural black color again. But summer had begun and he had decided to dye his hair blond again. His parents didn't mind and Jia Er was so excited that he even volunteered to dye it for him. He remembered back in those days when Yi En was blond that they were just strangers to each other. Nothing more than classmates. Back then Jia Er thought it was kind of cool how that kid dared to stand out like that with his hair. In the end when Jia Er found out it was just because of a mistake he couldn't help but laugh. It was typical Yi En.

Yi En had to admit it looked even better than when he had dyed it himself. But of coure when he had done it it had turned blond without knowing it would. He looked at his hair in the mirror, pleased with the result. Jia Er standing in the back. A goofy and proud smile on his face as he admired his work. Yi En smiled and thanked him.

'' Alright, let's clean up the bathroom before my mom freaks out from this mess. '' 

When summer vacation had started Yi En's parents went back to L.A for a short visit to see some of their old friends. Jia Er's parents went back to Hong Kong for two weeks to visit their relatives. The two of them could've chosen to go along but instead they stayed home. Jia Er still had to practice his fencing and Yi En would often tag along to watch. Because Yi En's siblings were still home he chose to sleep over at Jia Er's house. His house was a little bigger and Yi En enjoyed the fact that none of his siblings were there. It was more peaceful. Jia Er expected is was also a way of trying to clear his mind from the thoughts about Coco. They'd take a shower, eat snacks and watch movies. And when they didn't feel like sleeping they'd take their bikes to ride under the night sky. The warm breeze felt cool against their damp hair which hadn't dried completly. It was the perfect summer with just the two of them. A perfect ending of their third school year. 


Late-Summer, Year 4.

A fresh new school year lay ahead of them. Their last year. The first day of September. As they had expected nothing much had changed besides becoming seniors. Their class had stayed the same just like their homeroom teacher. Yi En was glad. Even if the only real friend in his class was Jia Er, he did get a long a little better with his other classmates. He felt more at ease by the familiarity of his classroom, his teacher, and Jia Er sitting in front of him. The second school day was the same, just like the third. Except that he had to ride home without Jia Er. He told him that he had to do something, other than fencing practice. Yi En asked what it was, but all that he got was a goofy smile without any answer.

'' You'll see! '' 

And he rode off on his bike in the other direction. This was Jia Er's way of keeping a secret. It wasn't really a secret but more of a surprise for Yi En. The boy had probably even forgot his birthday would be tomorrow. But Jia Er hadn't forgotten. The last few weeks of summer vacation he had been thinking about what he wanted to give him. Never in his life had he ever thought so much about what to give a person. Besides his parents. But two weeks ago when the two of them had walked past some shops he found the perfect present. It was white and small, with the most adorable eyes. Yi En was the first to notice the small pup behind the window of the pets shop. He had stopped and turned to look at the small dog jumping up against the window. He gulped. As if he tried to hold back tears. Jia Er noticed and took hold of his hand.

'' Let's go in. '' 

At first he didn't want to go in. Afraid he might cry again. But Jia Er had dragged him along. In the end he could hold the dog and pet it. He didn't cry but instead smiled his biggest smile as he hugged it. But when they left again he felt the familiar lump in his throat. He manager to swallow it as he felt Jia Er's hand gently resting on the back of his neck. They smiled.


The fourth of September. His birthday. It had passed by just like any other regular day. His parents and siblings had congratulated him, giving him his presents. Books mostly. Jia Er congratulated him and he sent him congrats from his own parents, along with a little muffins that his mom had baked. Jia Er had bought him a blue snapback for his birthday with a shooting star embroidered on it. No one else in class knew about his birthday and he liked it that way. The teacher was kind enough to congratulate him when everyone had left and even gave him one of his own favorite books. It made him happy.

A week later. Their school day had ended a little later than usual. Because being a senior ment studying longer and harder to get into college. Jia Er hadn't stayed behind to study since he had fencing practice so Yi En had to ride home alone again. The sky left an orange glow over the buildings. The first few early-autumn leaves falling from the trees. When he reached his front door and parked his bike against the wall he could swear he could hear a bark close by. He stood still for amoment, listening. But nothing. He shook his head, mumbling that he must have gone crazy while he opened the front door. His father was still at work. His mother was making dinner while singing along with the radio.

'' Yi En is that you? '' 

'' Yeah, I just got home '' 

'' Good. Jackson came by a while ago. He wants to show you something so he told me to tell you that you have to go over to his house ''

He always thought it was quite ironic and funny how his mother never called him by his english name but his Chinese name, but when it came to Jia Er she always called him Jackson. He got up from the couch, not bothering to put on his jacket.

'' Alright, I'll go over now '' 

'' Don't be late for dinner ''

He knocked one time. Two times. The door opened abruptly before he could knock again. Jia Er stood in the door opening with a big smile on his face, dragging him inside. He passed Jia Er's parents before he could even greet them properly and went upstairs as he got dragged along. Yi En's brows furrowed again in confussion. 

'' I thought you had practice? My mom just-- '' 

'' I finished early. Come, I have to show you something! '' 

Jia Er placed him on his own bed before walking out of his room again. His fencing uniform spread across the floor. It looked as if he had taken them off in a hurry. He lay down on Jia Er's bed and closed his eyes. He was tired. It only took him a few seconds before he had drifted off to sleep. His eyes shot open again at the familiar bark he heard. Jia Er was standing in the doorway holding a small white pup. It was the one from the pets store. He stood up without realising. His eyes widened as he was about to speak. But he was unable to find the right words.

'' I got a dog! '' 

'' How did-- but-- I..-- and what-- '' 

'' Well, actually I wanted to give her to you as a birthday present. But when I asked your parents they were against it because they didn't want a new dog so soon after Coco. So I asked my parents. I had to beg a lot though.. But in the end my mother agreed because she's home alone a lot so she has some company. Wang Jia Er never loses! So yeah.. She's yours and you can see her as much as you want and you can come to my house everyday until.. '' 

Yi En's expression hadn't changed. He continued to stare at Jia Er in amazement. Words and thoughts overflowing his mind, wanting to speak but unable to express what he felt right now. It was happiness, amazement, appreciation, admiration and so much more all at once. So his tears did it for him. Unlike Jia Er, he was more emotional and when comparing the two of them Yi En was the crybaby. Tears ran down his cheeks. They weren't tears of sadness. And Jia Er knew that. He calmly let go of the pup and placed it on his bed where it jumped around happily. This time it was a different kind of comfort that Yi En had never felt before. It was a warm hug. Different than the ones your parents gave you. Jia Er had both his arms around Yi En, embracing him. It was firm but gentle. As if the boy he was holding was fragile as glass. He gently the back of his hair while speaking words of comfort. And Yi En held onto the soft fabric of Jia Er's sweater, resting his head against the other boy his shoulder. Staining his clothes with his tears for a second time.

Their first hug. To them it wasn't just a hug. It was so much more. Unspoken thoughts, words and feelings. And they both knew. But it wasn't something they talked about, or even understood. No, it was too early for that.