She got tired of Tae that day, frankly. The weather was hot, the sun was bad enough, glaring mercilessly on their shiny crowns as they walked the grey pavements. But the worst was Tae, who, with something clearly on her mind, would not let Eunsook in, communicating with her through cryptic phrases that didn't require answers. And she wished she didn't touch her that much. Those things were meant to be natural, as they always were, but now it seemed to Eunsook that all those times when her friend grabbed her hand, and tickled her, and linked their arms, were unnecessary. Her skin felt sticky and hot beneath her clothes. She would rather be left alone. A part of her mind was bristling with anger at every touch and every other word.
Taeyeon was a little girl who cared mostly about her fantasies. And Eunsook loved her. Really loved her.
Taeyeon dragged her to the amusement park, and Eunsook cursed at herself for being too weak to refuse her anything. She paid for her, she bought her sugar cotton, and she cracked irritated jokes that made her friend laugh.
“Let's ride the Ferris wheel now!” Taeyeon chirped, grabbing her again.
“Sure,” Eunsook muttered, being led away.
“You know that you can't do it up there, right?” a mocking voice warned them, passing behind their backs as they took their spot in the line.
A few girls from their class were here, too, eating brightly colored ice-cream and giving the two girls their usual dirty looks.
“We're going to try our luck, though! Wanna join?” Eunsook offered with that maddeningly goodhearted attitude which made her enemies hate her even more.
Their classmates assumed disgusted expressions.
“Never!” they cried in unison.
“Your loss!” Eunsook smiled with a shrug.
“Dirty dykes…” one of the girls murmured into her ice-cream.
“I take shower everyday,” was another benevolent answer. “Hi,  Minjung.”
A tall, stunning creature approached them at that same moment, ready, no doubt, to tell her clique (for friends they were not) off for making her wait with their meddling. But then her doe eyes met Eunsook's narrow ones and her eyelashes fluttered, her stare shifting, not sure where to linger.
“H-hi…” Minjung greeted the ground, her expensive jewelry contrasting her sheepishness sharply.
“I'm having a fun conversation with your friends here,” Eunsook said, looking like she was telling the sheer truth. “How've you been?”
Minjung giggled like one of the boy shy losers her clique always made fun of.
“F-fine... And you?”
“Pretty well. But the tests are a pain in the .”
“You are smart, though. It shouldn't be hard for you.”
Minjung must have trained her minions well, because they didn't even give her a weird look for speaking like that to an outcast. Then again, bullying (or trying to bully) Eunsook was their own initiative.
“Yeah, but it's still no fun. Makes me miss our camp time.”
The tall girl chuckled nervously.
“Er... er... I need to run now. Bye. ”
She dragged her friends away as Eunsook waved at them with a grin.
“Oh, we're next,” she noticed, pushing Taeyeon towards the waiting spot.
Before stepping into the cabin of the Ferris wheel, Tae glanced at the departing figures of Minjung and her clique over her shoulder. From the expression of her face, it was hard to tell what she was thinking.
Her mood had improved a little, Eunsook thought at first, watching the ground move further away through the glass walls of the cabin. Driving her haters mad was always fun, plus she loved Ferris wheels. But then she noticed that Tae was now quiet. More quiet than usual, that is.
Eunsook cleared and pointed her finger at the glass.
“Oh, look, that poodle is a toy poodle now.”
“And that truck is a toy truck now. That's how these things work.”
Eunsook looked at her friend. Her euphoria from before was gone now. She was feeling blue, it seemed.
And all for a medium-level guy like Jongin. What a shame.
“Let's take selcas?” she suggested.
Neither of them liked to take pictures much. But it was better than just sitting in that sour mood. So Taeyeon took the iPhone Jongin had given her on her birthday and they made goofy faces at it for a minute or two. Then they fell silent again.
“Where did those clouds come from?” Eunsook wondered with a pout when their cabin reached the very top. “It was hot all day! Are those raindrops on the gl-”
That is when Tae grabbed her face and turned it to the side, pressing their lips together.
Eunsook could not move at all. She sat rigidly, her hands gripping into the edge of her seat so tight that her knuckles became white. The noise of metal moving got louder now, drowning all other thoughts out of her mind. For a while, there was nothing but the warmth of Tae's lips, and the taste of the strawberry ice cream she had eaten earlier. Then something else appeared. A feeling of overwhelming wrongness.
Slowly, she pushed her away. Watching Taeyeon averting her face, her chest rising with frantic breathing and belated shame, she felt sorry for her – and also, a little bit, for herself. For it had been a kiss of neither love nor passion – only of ignorance and desperation.
“I'm... I'm sorry...” Tae stammered, covering her face with her hands.
Eunsook felt her heart weaken. Maybe she should have kissed her back? Maybe she had judged her wrongly, and...
“I'm sorry,” the other repeated through her sobs. “I just... need a boyfriend. I can't be alone.”
Or maybe not.

Walking alone in the rain was really becoming a habit, Taeyeon thought ironically, approaching her street. The whimsical weather always took her by surprise, and at such dramatic moments too. She didn't want to think about what had happened on the Ferris wheel. She threw Jongin entirely out of her mind, too.
Someone was waiting for her at the fancy gate of her family's house. He was also soaked through and slightly trembling with cold. He must have waited there for hours. For the usually calm and collected Taeyeon, it was almost painful to behold the look of unguarded hope that lighted up his eyes when he saw her coming. But she couldn't boast much self-control that day either.
The boy cleared his throat, but he couldn't say anything at first. Tae saw his Adam's apple move as he gulped.
“I… I wanted to... Accept this,  please.”
With a bow, he presented her a plain white envelope, which certainly contained his love confession. She had a bunch of things like that stacked in a box she kept on top of her wardrobe.
Taeyeon took the envelope and ran through the text written in a firm, quick hand on the paper sheet that was inside.
The boy had not expected her to open the letter right away, it seemed, because all the color drained away from his face. The girl simply read the paper and walked past him towards the gate. She pressed the code in and the electronic lock beeped. She pushed the gate open and turned to the boy, standing with his head downcast and looking perfectly defeated with his wet hair and shirt.
“Are you coming?” Taeyeon asked matter-of-factly.
The boy faltered in surprise before nodding and following her into the house.

Jongin kept calling her. She had deleted his number from her phone, but she could still recognize it when it appeared on the screen at the most inconvenient moments. Convenient or not, she wasn't going to talk to him anyway.
Tae put her phone on the desk, screen down. She looked at her friend and sighed.
“Stop it now,” she said, poking her elbow with a ruler. “Hear me?”
Eunsook, who was sleeping on top of her copybook, opened her eyes and turned her head to the other side, away from Taeyeon.
“I'm telling you to stop it! How long are you going to be silly?”
“Forever,” Eunsook mumbled into her arm.
When she saw that poking had little effect, Taeyeon leaned closer to pinch her.
“Ah, dammit!” Eunsook lifted her head and rubbed her elbow. “What do you want me to stop doing? I'm not doing anything.”
“Being mad at me maybe?”
Eunsook chortled and rose to her feet.
“I'm not mad at you.”
She took a few coins from her bag (she was too lazy to put them into the wallet) and walked out of the classroom. Tae followed her.
“Yes, you are. But you have no reason to.”
“If I have no reason, then would I be mad? I'm a reasonable creature.”
They stood in line for the soft drink vending machine.
“I'm not mad,” Eunsook repeated. “I just can't understand you.”
“What can't you understand?”
“Certain things you do...”
Tae sighed.
“Is it because of Jinki?”
“Maybe.”
Eunsook pushed a few buttons on the machine and kicked it when it hesitated.
“You shouldn't be jealous. You are you.”
“It's not jealousy either. I just think you can do better.”
Eunsook opened her soda can with a snap and shared it with her friend after taking a gulp.
Taeyeon frowned.
“Why don't you like him, though? He is clever, kind, funny...”
The other girl chuckled.
“If he is still what I remember from middle school, you are very sweet to think he's funny.”
They walked down the hall slowly.
“But he really is! And I can feel safe with him. He's not the type who'll try to touch my or something.”
“Of course. He's a .”
“So am I. So I don't mind. Also he is handsome.”
Eunsook cocked an eyebrow.
“How come you've been ignoring him all this time then? He's been looking at you like a sick cow for months! Waiting for you after biology class... Trying to start a conversation... Did you not see him before?”
“Sometimes it takes a while to really see someone.”
“Maybe. It's not him that bothers me anyway.”
“What does, then?”
Taeyeon's eyes flickered when the other girl looked at her directly.
“You do.”
“Me? But what did I do?”
They stopped.
“I thought you were just a careless girl living in the now, but you're really running from loneliness.”
“So what? I don't wanna be lonely.”
“Why? Because loneliness drives you mad? Makes you do reckless things?”
Tae's cheeks turned pink as she remembered the kiss on the Ferris wheel.
“How can you learn your mistakes and become a better person if you're constantly running from yourself? Can't you see that all that these guys do is taking away your time and energy so that you have none to keep for yourself?”
Tae sighed.
“You don't have to worry about me, Eunsook. I don't even care that much for them.”
Her friend opened to continue her scolding, but Taeyeon broke her off:
“But I will learn to care for Jinki. I want to. Guys always chase me, but with him it wasn't like that...”
Eunsook crossed her arms on her chest, as if to protect herself from the pleading look on her friend's pretty face.
“Didn't he give you a love letter?”
“He did, but... This time it's different. Going out with him was my conscious choice.”
Taeyeon unfolded Eunsook's arms and took her hand.
“I'm gonna be fine, I promise. Will you accept him, please? For me?”
Her friend chuckled dryly, looking away.
Tae smiled.
“Please? Please-please-please? And can you become my goofy Eunsook again?”
Eunsook gave a deep, long sigh. The other girl was looking at her with puppy eyes. She was really desperate to make it up to her.
“I'll see what I can do,” she grumbled, and Taeyeon pushed her playfully, giggling.
They were holding hands when they returned back to the class.

The pretty Taeyeon was way out of Lee Jinki's league. Everybody knew that, and so did he, it seemed, because he was doing his very best to become a good boyfriend for her – always carrying her backpack after school, buying her soft drinks, picking her up after dance classes and, more importantly, always listening to her when she talked. And he tried to be friendly with Eunsook, going as far as trying to dissolve the awkward silences they had while waiting for Taeyeon to finish her makeup and come out of the girl's room by having (or attempting to have) small talk with her.
Once, when her unenthusiastic replies to his remarks about the weather got him rambling about the mechanism of cloud formation in their geographical zone, she felt really bad for him and said:
“It's okay. None of us is good at small talk.”
He nodded, relieved.
Whether or not Tae was the type of person who would want to have her cake and eat it too, was not even a question. She dragged Eunsook with them to all places, which she hadn't done much with her previous boyfriends. Partially because Jinki was not going to give her friend dirty looks, like Jongin had sometimes done. He would never complain, surely. In short, he was easy.
All of her guys had been her slaves to some extent. But Jinki was sinking down so rapidly Eunsook pitied him as he walked with them quietly and ignored the fact that Taeyeon's fingers and hers were locked together. But Eunsook was not much better. She had always looked down on all of those weak-minded guys, but now she was really a prisoner of Lee Taeyeon.
So she began getting her way out of their arrangements, by truths and lies. And while Taeyeon sulked at her at times, she knew that at least one person was grateful to her for doing so.
But soon Tae caught her. Jinki had bought tickets for the three of them, she said. There was no way out.
“I don't wanna be a third wheel, though,” Eunsook told her eventually, wrapping sticky tape around her wrist for no reason. “And your boyfriend won't be happy either.”
“Oh no, Jinki never complains. He doesn't mind.”
Taeyeon always had her way after all.

“Thanks for agreeing to go with us,” Eunsook said somewhat cheerlessly.
Jjong smiled.
“Thanks for buying a ticket for me. Plus I couldn't miss a chance to see your friend's new sweetheart.”
“Isn't it unethical to me?” the girl grumbled.
“Not really. You're not gonna fight for her anyway, right? She's just a friend.”
Eunsook had nothing to answer, so she just glared, making Jonghyun laugh.
“We are the only true obstacles on the way to our happiness.”
“Yeah, yeah...”
The girl took her phone out and checked the time. There were three minutes left until their appointment time.
She suddenly bolted towards the small dead-end side street they had passed on the way here. When Jonghyun caught up with her, she was sitting on a stair with a cigarette in her hand, looking both nervous and tired.
He approached her quietly.
“You're a good friend,” he said.
“I know. I'm gonna turn into a ing saint soon.”
He came closer and patted her shoulder.
“Hurting much?” he asked in a softest voice, and the girl jerked away.
“Shut up,” she told him, turning her face away.
But Jonghyun saw the tears glistening in her eyes.
A minute or two passed in silence.
“Ready?”
Eunsook sighed. Then she shrugged and grabbed Jonghyun's hand to get back on her feet.

The cinema was packed, and Eunsook had to switch seats with another girl to sit next to Jonghyun. It seemed a good idea at first, but then she realized: the lovey-dovey couple was sitting a few seats away in the next row, and the view was more than clear. Taeyeon pouted at her for leaving her side, but surely she had a boyfriend to be entertained by.
Eunsook was not paying much attention to the screen, and a few jokes that made the entire audience laugh were lost on her.
She took a look at them. There were moments when she doubted Tae's commitment to the promise she had made to start caring for Jinki. She always made him wait, she cancelled on him easily, and she never seemed to care whether he was bored or not. But maybe it was just the way she was? There were pleased sparks in her eyes when she listened to the comments he was making about the movie, and one could tell that when she was looking at him she really saw him, as he was, and maybe she actually thought he was handsome. There was tenderness in Taeyeon's movements as she smoothed his hair, and she smiled to him often. Eventually he said something that made her laugh so much that a few heads turned in her direction. Then she put her head on his shoulder.
Eunsook's vision blurred.
“Don't,” Jonghyun whispered, turning her face towards the screen.
“Too late,” she whispered back.

After the movie they had a quick snack and headed to the bank of the Han river, where Jinki rented bikes for Tae and himself. Jonghyun's leg wouldn't let him join them, so he and Eunsook just walked behind, sharing a bag of honey butter potato chips.
He apologized to her for being trouble. The girl rolled her eyes.
“Are you kidding me? Thank you. What happened though?”
“Well... I heard a bunch of guys saying ist about our teacher, so I decided to go and teach them a lesson.”
“Got your kicked?” Eunsook guessed, offering him the bag.
“Sure. And the teacher called mom and told her I have ‘behavioral’ problems.”
“Old news.”
Jjong laughed.
“Is your curiosity satisfied?” Eunsook nodded at Jinki who was making circles around them, followed by a cheerful Taeyeon.
“Well... You have some hot nerds at your school.”
“Very funny.”
“No, really, I'd date him.”
“Don't lie. ”
“I'm not! He's really good-looking. And that striped shirt... I want to eat him up like a warm Nutella muffin.”
Eunsook shook her head in disbelief. The boy pushed her.
“Just because he stole your friend from you, it makes him unattractive? Please.”
“He didn't even ask her to go out with him, though...” Eunsook admitted. “So, technically, he didn't steal her... She just made it happen.”
They were standing still now.
“She must really like him, then. And people can like other people for many reasons.” Jonghyun looked her in the eye earnestly.
“Like, there's a reason why I like him. He reminds me of somebody else I like.”
“A rabbit?” Eunsook asked innocently, for which she got hit in the head by the bag of chips.
“Be serious and listen!”
The girl sighed.
“Okay, keep ranting.”
“Maybe Taeyeon has a reason too. And that reason might be very ob-”
His speech was cut short by their
friends calling their names. It was time to go and eat some fried meat.
Jonghyun took care of Eunsook at the restaurant, shielding her as much as he could from the constant source of frustration at the other half of the table. He could feel somehow that today she was vulnerable. So he fed her, and joked with her, and made her laugh with full.
Jinki was holding Taeyeon's hand, challenging her to eat only with the help of her free one. He wasn't in any way obnoxious, though. Not that it made anything easier. He joined their conversation now and then, and, by the end of their meal, it was Tae who gradually sank into a gloomy silence while the other three were having fun.
In the bathroom, she confronted Eunsook.
“Why are you hiding stuff from me? I always tell you everything.”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you dating that guy?”
“No. And I already told you I'm not.”
“Why is he stealing you away, then?”
Eunsook looked at her, wondering what had gotten into her all of a sudden.
“Stealing me away? How?”
Tae's arms were crossed on her chest and she was staring at the floor, completely shut down.
“I wanted us to spend time together. Just the three of us.”
“Why?”
“Because you two are the people I'm closest with right now.”
“Jjong is my best friend.” Feeling the wave of resentment that rose inside Taeyeon, Eunsook added: “And so you are. You both are my best friends.”
“His feelings for you are more than a friend's.”
“Nonsense.”
“But they are! Don't you see the way he looks at you? Like you're the thing he wants to have the most but can't?”
She shook her head.
“No. Nope. You're mistaken. Trust me. But why does it bother you anyway? You have a boyfriend!”
“Because, because...” Tae was growing really nervous, and her friend knew how much it was hurting her pride. “You're distancing yourself from me.”
“How?!”
“Whenever I offer to hang out together, you're always finding excuses to not go with us! And now when you did say ‘yes’, you had to bring Jonghyun with you and stick to his side the whole time!”
Eunsook felt for sure that her friend's perspective was skewed, but she couldn't argue with that particular complaint.
“It's like... I feel that there's something going on. Something that you're aware of and I'm not, and it bothers me.”
Eunsook gulped. Tae was hitting nails straight on the head today. That was one of the things she was unaware of. Before she had a chance to say anything else, Eunsook simply said:
“I'm not hanging out with you because I feel jealous.”
“What?” the other asked, confused by her calmness.
“I have a typical jealous friend syndrome. Seeing you two together makes me feel sick.”
Taeyeon lost her intimidating air. She was perplexed and frustrated, it seemed. And also unsure whether she could trust her friend's indifferent manner of speaking or not. Maybe the words brought her pain.
“I... I'm not sure how to...” she stammered, raising her eyes at Eunsook once again. Asking for help silently. “…what to do...”
But Eunsook was not going to help her. Not that she knew how to. She felt exhausted.
“Me neither. I'm sorry.” Eunsook sighed. “I guess I need a break. Before I go back to normal.”
She knew that Tae was not shrewd enough to understand the true nature of her weariness. She surely thought it had something to do with her not liking Jinki after all. So let her.
Eunsook was going to go back to the guys waiting for them in the hall, but Taeyeon stopped her, pulling her elbow.
The girl turned around to face her and gave her a questioning look.
“Do you want me... to break up with him?” Tae asked, almost guiltily.
Hadn't she said that Jinki was one of the two people she felt closest to? She was being outrageous, as she was sometimes, and Eunsook didn't even question her about it. She tried her very best to not be mean to her.
“Don't be stupid.”
With those words she left her.

A/N: Dear readers, thank you for reading my fic and subscribing. As always, I would really like to know what you think about my story, so don't hesitate to share your thoughts in the comments - getting feedback is always good, as it inspires the author to write more and, of course, helps them to improve. ^.^ See you in the next chapter~