On Friday, Taeyeon said she was going out with Jongin again. “But weren't we supposed to go to my place and play Mario tonight?” Eunsook pouted her plump lips.
‘Playing Mario’ stood for watching trashy anime and stuffing their faces with junk food on those lucky evenings when Eunsook's mom was working late.
“I know. I'm sorry.” Tae rubbed her friend's arm apologetically. “He wants to take me to an amusement park.”
“But so do I!”
Taeyeon bit her lip, thinking.
“Hmm… what if I ride only the boring attractions with him and save all the nice ones for us?”
“Deal!” Eunsook cried. “Or, better, choose the scariest one so that he will wet his pants early and just take you to a café, and in the end we'll save even the crappy ones for ourselves!”
The other pondered a little.
“Sounds good to me,” she agreed, nodding. “Let's go to the bathroom now.”
She grabbed Eunsook's wrist to lead her to the other end of the corridor, but the girl wouldn't go, digging her heels into the ground like a stubborn donkey.
“Nooo, I won't let gooo,” she whined.
“But he'll come soon and my makeup is not vulgar enough.”
“It's pretty much the definition of vulgarity, I assure you. Let's go chase each other outdoors!”
Taeyeon was seduced by the offer, and they ran outside, laughing.

Jongin bought the tickets for ‘the scariest thing round here’ (because such was Taeyeon's exact request) with a deep sigh, but what could he do – his cute girlfriend despised safety for some reason. After being thrown around in the air for a decent amount of time, he didn't look forward to further torture and, looking somewhat green, he offered to go and grab something to eat in one of the tents.
“I'm sorry it was tough for you,” Taeyeon said with a sympathetic smile. “But you endured it pretty well.”
“It's because my stomach was empty,” her boyfriend murmured.
“You're fidgety. Why?” Tae asked, full with hot ttokpokki. (Not something her upper-class mother would be proud of.)
“Am I?”
“You keep checking your phone and you clicked your tongue once. Do you have a lover waiting for you somewhere?” she inquired with a placid bluntness.
Jongin choked on the food.
“Yeah, a dozen of them,” he answered, wiping his face. “All waiting.”
“Thought so.”
The boy finished his meal (by giving it up to Taeyeon) and pulled his chair closer to the table.
“What are you planning to do next?”
Tae shrugged.
“We could go fishing. Or eat more. Or ride the subway till dawn.”
“Sounds great,” Jongin said, chuckling. He looked at his phone again to check what time it was. “The party at Minjung's has just started...” he began, trying to sound casual. “So we might… you know... still go there 'cause it might be...”
“I don't wanna go.”
“…fun,” he finished sourly. “Why?”
“We already discussed that. You can go without me.”
Jongin made an exasperated sound, but then recollected himself.
“Is she some kind of a childhood friend or something?” he asked, apparently talking about Eunsook.
“No. I met her in high school. Why are you asking?”
“You just seem so different. Like you two are from different worlds.”
Taeyeon felt horrible for some reason. Was it the food that made her stomach churn that way? Was it the drought that made her feel so cold? She tried to quench it, pushed it down for a while.
“I think we're exactly the same,” she argued.
How awesome would it be if he just dropped that subject? Or at least gave her time to think of something neutral to talk about? Her head was actually clear. Too clear. She felt like she could hear the blood flowing to her brain and back if she tried hard enough.
One of the words Taeyeon could describe herself with was ‘firm’. And firmness hindered her ability to forgive. Jongin was nice. Too nice. And handsome, too. He'd better not say things he was trying to say.
But...
“I know many really nice people, you know,” he hinted, playing with a napkin. “There are a lot of well-mannered, fashionable girls from good families I can introduce you to.”
…he did.

Eunsook was loungng on the couch, her long hair absentmindedly. She forgot all about the chicken wings she had already heated up twice. They were surely cold again, lying lonesomely in the microwave. The lights were on in the kitchen, too, which Mrs. Lee had better not see – her nagging about energy preservation hadn't affected her daughter much.
“She did call me in the middle of her date, if you think about it,” Eunsook thought out loud. “But that is so her, the sweet thing.”
She knew that Jongin was not good enough for Tae. He was overall decent, but there was this shallowness about him that Eunsook had detected the very first time she saw him. But Taeyeon liked him. It was him she was on a date with tonight. She hoped she was having fun.
Jjong was annoying, though. Did he even know what kind of seed he had planted into Eunsook's mind by his nosy advice?! She had even caught herself wording her love confession once...
She snatched the remote control from the armchair and pushed Taeyeon out of her mind by clicking the TV on. Well, not quite. Taeyeon was the news lady, the heroic fireman and the witness. Taeyeon was in a lipstick advert, blinking at Eunsook mischievously. She was lipsynching in scanty clothing on one music show and singing trot songs for old ladies on another, she was saving Gu Jung Pyo from the water and, finally, she was the moustached doctor giving a lecture on curing diarrhea on the health channel. It was useless.
After a while she got tired of fighting her own mind and felt her eyelids get heavy, the sound of raining outside getting farther away. The last thing she had time to think of before her consciousness dimmed was loneliness – a bitter, but a languid feeling.
Eunsook woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the front door, much to her annoyance. She'd been dreaming of... Well, those dreams could only interest Jonghyun.
She yawned, shuffling to the hall in her one slipper. How could she have been asleep for hours? Her brain was still sluggish, but awake enough for Eunsook to realize the severeness of the scolding that her mom was going to give her for the mess in the living room.
“I'll clean everything,” she creaked as she flung the door open, her eyes still shut, face covered by her messy hair. “Don't shout, please.”
“I will if I want to.”
Eunsook groaned, but then something seemed strange. She tore her eyes open and shook the hair off her face. It was not her mom. It was her friend.
“Tae,” she greeted her with a smile. “You came.” But then she got serious. “Why did you come? And why is your hair wet? Did he...”
“He did nothing,” Taeyeon soothed her, taking her shoes (looking pretty much ruined) off. “I just wanted to see you. And I didn't mind the rain.”
Eunsook's heart vibrated softly inside her chest, the sensation spreading all the way to . She gulped.
“You w-wanted to s-see me?” she asked with a grin, as if her friend hadn't been telling her things like that since the beginning of their friendship.
“Of course. You and your fridge,” Tae said, putting her raincoat and scarf on Eunsook's shoulder and making her way to the bathroom.

Eunsook could tell that something had happened. Sure, Jongin was only a medium-level guy, but letting the fairy-like Taeyeon walk home in the pouring rain on her own? Sure he was classier than that. She must have walked out on him, that was as clear as day. What on earth had he done?! But Tae was not telling her anything. So she didn't ask.
They watched a vampire series, and Tae treated herself to a bunch of the fried chicken wings, and she looked quite her ordinary self as she chuckled at all the appropriate (and inappropriate) moments and made comments now and then. Eunsook kept glancing at her face, thinking that she was really beautiful with her tangled hair, tired eyes and greasy lips and hands, and felt just like a regular creeper watching a pretty girl eat.
The empty screen got dark and so did the room. Taeyeon's head was leaning on Eunsook's shoulder. (She could feel the soft hair touching her neck.) She thought Taeyeon had fallen asleep, worn out after her long and mysterious day, and didn't dare to breathe loudly enough to wake her up. But after a few minutes of sitting quietly in the darkness, her friend's voice said, the sound of it reverberating through Eunsook's chest:
“Jongin and I broke up.”
That didn't come as a surprise. But Eunsook fell into a stupor anyway.
“But you said you were soulmates or something,” she mumbled uncertainly.
“I thought so. But I guess we aren't.”
More silence.
“Wha-what did he do?”
Tae sighed.
“He said something... horrible.”
“Really?! What?”
She sighed again and put her hands to Eunsook's ear to confess in a whisper:
“He asked if he could my armpit.”
Eunsook gasped, covering in shock. She couldn't see her friend grinning in the dark.
“I knew it, dammit!” she cried, shaking her fist in the air. “I just felt there was something creepy about him, but I had no idea he was such a ert.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Pause.
“You're going to miss him, though? After all this time together...”
Taeyeon waited before answering:
“For a while… yeah.”
Eunsook's warm hand found hers in the dark.
“Don't worry, baby. You'll find someone. You'll meet someone who will take care of you and respect you, and will always make you laugh without creeping you out.”
“Someone like you?” Tae asked with a pensive laugh.
Eunsook chuckled too, not in a relaxed way.
“Yeah, someone like me.”
Tae laid her head on her friend's shoulder again.
“I would've dated you if you were a guy, you know.”
“I would've dated you if you were a girl.”
Taeyeon shook with laughter.
“What are you saying, you dork!” she cried, hitting the other girl's knee playfully.
That's what I am, really. A big, big dork, Eunsook thought, forcing herself to laugh along.

But, whatever. Taeyeon was hers again. They played old PC games together. Went to the movies. Hunted beauty shops for free samples they didn't really need. Shared a stealthy cigarette from time to time. Trolled each other and took revenge. Laughed, whined about school, ate ramyeon noodles at cheapest grocery stores, and laughed on and on, caring little for things and people outside of their tiny world.
It seemed that they even got closer. To Eunsook, at least. She hoped that nothing would change. It was a bliss to her. But she had to bury the wish to confess to Taeyeon, too. She couldn't do that when everything was so perfect.

“What's wrong with them all?” Eunsook asked when she noticed the intent stares directed at her friend from every corner. Literally every older girl they met on their way from the cafeteria looked at Taeyeon with curiosity, accompanied by either malice or downright pity. “Seriously, they won't stop!”
“It's because Jongin hooked up with someone at the party, and they think I don't know,” Taeyeon explained calmly.
“Party? Which party?”
“Minjung's party. He went there after we parted.”
Eunsook raised her brows.
“Wow, I completely forgot about it!… Not that I would've gone anyway.”
“I wouldn't, too.” Tae assured her as they took the stairs up. “Even though I was invited.”
“So was I. I thought it would be pretty boring. All that booze and squeaky sofas, and rich kids trying to feel you up... Ugh.” Eunsook pulled a face.
“Minjung invited you?” Tae asked, surprised.
It's not that she thought that her friend was unworthy of such an invitation. It's just that the tall, fabulous, rich Minjung was on top of the popularity ladder of their school, and Eunsook minded her eccentric business somewhere down below. She wasn't that unpopular among boys, though. Granted, they were overall stupid, but they weren't blind, and surely Taeyeon wasn't the only one who thought that her friend had a lovely figure and a pretty mouth. It's the girls who hated her guts.
“Yeah, sure. Minjung and I are fine.”
“Doesn't she... You know...”
“Hate me? Oh no.” Eunsook shook her head as if the idea of Minjung hating her was ridiculous. “We shared a room at a summer camp last year and we had so much fun.”
“You got close?”
“Well, we did stuff,” she answered and smiled her big wordless smile, not wanting to go into detail.

“So this is where you practice?” Eunsook asked excitedly, looking around.
To Taeyeon it was just the good old dance studio that she visited every week, but her friend seemed mesmerized by the walls hung with mirrors and the tall windows through which the white light flooded in.
“Uhuh.”
Taeyeon's reflection put her bag on the floor and took her jacket off. Eunsook turned around with another question on her mind, but it never left . Tae, with her back facing her friend, was putting her hair into a tail. The back of her neck looked so feminine and delicate, and her fingers were working the tie so nimbly that poor Eunsook seemed to forget human language for a while.
She saw that Taeyeon was watching her too in the mirror, her face blank as usual, and her reverie ended.
“What?” Tae asked.
“What what?”
“You look like you wanna say something.”
“Oh.” Eunsook coughed. “I was just going to say that I wish I could dance!... Like, not something complicated, but anything at all.” She giggled self-consciously.
“Didn't you take lessons as a child?”
“I did. Right until I kicked the teacher on the shin by accident and everybody fell down like dominoes.”
Taeyeon laughed.
“That is so Eunsook. Come here.”
She took the girl's hand and led her towards the center of the room.
Then she put her arm around her friend's waist and pulled her closer.
“I can teach you how to waltz if you want,” she suggested, looking Eunsook straight in the eye and locking their fingers together.
“O-okay,” the other agreed, her voice trembling just a little.
Taeyeon gave her a light push, and they started moving. She told her all the stuff about the steps, the legs, the counting and the posture – Eunsook already knew those things, to be fair, but she didn't mind relearning them from the girl she liked. She still needed to mind her feet as she didn't want to tread on Taeyeon's toes and ruin the moment. At last they got the rhythm right, and the dance flowed by itself.
“Ah, I always wanted to lead!” Tae confessed happily. “But I'm always the girl.”
“I wonder why that is,” Eunsook joked nervously, and her friend laughed.
“You're so funny. I love you,” Taeyeon confessed matter-of-factly, putting the other girl's hand off her shoulder and on her waist instead because she wanted to let Eunsook lead, too.
“I... I love you too,” Eunsook muttered, feeling her friend's almost weightless arm wrapping around her shoulder.
Right now, she pretty much hated the fact that they were of the same height: Taeyeon's eyes looked at her so boldly (indeed, she had no secret feelings to hide), and she was dying inside a little bit, questioning herself when she had turned into this pathetic mess. It had been easier when she had still been with Jongin. He was the natural obstacle on the way of delusional thoughts. But now...
It didn't make it easier at all when Taeyeon released her other hand, and suddenly both of her arms were thrown around Eunsook's neck.
“I've seen people dance like this in American movies. And I always wanted to try it... Wait.”
She took her phone out of her pocket and a slow song started playing. And she resumed her position.
“You didn't dance like that with Jongin?”
Taeyeon shook her head.
“We only danced to fun songs.”
They rocked slowly without saying anything for a minute, and Eunsook felt so confused she decided not to think at all. But then it dawned on her. She's still lovelorn.
“Are you sad about Jongin and that other girl?” She asked directly, because she didn't know how to be subtle.
Tae shrugged.
“I'm not sure. My ego stings a bit, but I'm actually relieved as I don't have to feel very sorry for him. Seeing him alone, with a hurt look... I don't want that.”
Eunsook nodded understandingly.
“There's no point in being sorry anyway. It's not your fault that you don't like your armpits being .”
Taeyeon laughed.
“No, it's not...” Her eyes shifted to her friend's lips. “I saw a cherry red lipstick in a shop the other day. It would suit you.”
“I'm too young for that,” Eunsook argued with a smile.
“But not too young for smoking and drinking.”
“I don't put cigarettes and booze on my face, though.”
“Makes sense. You're biting your lip again. Are you nervous?”
Taeyeon knew her too well. Crap.
“Of course not, why would I be,” Eunsook said with a fake chuckle, feeling her emotional resources wearing thin.
Tae didn't know how beautiful was. She didn't know how unnervingly wonderful it was to embrace her by the waist. She didn't know how tough it was to survive her numerous boyfriends.
When it all was too much for her to bear, Eunsook took one pale hand resting on her shoulder in hers and asked her friend to demonstrate the proper way to waltz one more time, and they were spinning innocently around the room again.
“Don't you feel the butterflies in your stomach?” Tae asked, leaning her head to the side and making the other girl's heart bleed even more.
Of course, she did.
“I'm not sure...” she faltered.
“That means you don't,” Taeyeon concluded, too quickly for Eunsook's liking. “Because you would know if you did.”

Eunsook could not understand her friend's feelings – how she would come too close to the border of casual intimacy and then withdraw, as if losing interest all of a sudden.
Maybe it's for the better. Where there are butterflies, there is a broken heart nearby. One should guard their butterflies.