“Minghao hyung!”

At the sound of his name, the Chinese boy skidded to a stop despite himself. He had barely made it a few steps from the recreational room where Junhui was but he was already regretting his hasty decision to leave.

Yet, it was clearly not Junhui calling him, as evident by the honorific but a small part — okay, maybe a large part — of Minghao was disappointed that it wasn’t the older boy even though it was he who had stormed away from Junhui.

Xu Minghao, since when were you so indecisive? Minghao demanded of himself angrily. He was so upset and furious at himself and at Junhui and at everything. He needed an outlet to vent out his confusion and fury or if that was too much to ask, then maybe a way for him to forget all his troubles.

There was a tap on his shoulder and Minghao jumped in surprise. He was so lost in his thoughts that he had forgotten about the person behind him. He spun around and found himself face to face with Chan. The younger boy was never one to hide his emotions and this time, his features were full of worry and concern.

“Minghao hyung?” The younger boy called out again, his voice tentative and his face hesitant as if not sure if Minghao realized he was there. For some reason, Chan’s eyes were darting from Minghao’s face to the space on his right.

“Chan,” Minghao responded, his voice coming out stiffer than he expected. He tried again, this time, taking care to make his tone gentler, “Chan. What is it?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” Chan answered, noticeably brighter, as he made to walk closer to Minghao. Abruptly, he stopped suddenly and he gestured towards Minghao’s right. “But could you — I don’t know — pull your hand down? It’s very intimidating.”

Minghao was confused by Chan’s queer request. His hand wasn’t even up. “Pull my hand down? I —” His voice broke off as he realized that his hand was indeed up and not only that, there was a small glowing barrier around his clenched fist.

Startled, Minghao took an involuntary step back as he let his hand fall. Almost immediately, the force field disappeared and Minghao relaxed. He glanced at Chan whose eyes were still concentrated on Minghao’s right hand.

“Are you afraid of me?” Minghao blurted out unwillingly, the words coming out rapidly.

At that, Chan snapped his head up with a shocked expression on his face. “No, of course not! Minghao hyung, don’t ever think that way.”

“Then why, why were you staring at my hand?” Minghao asked, his voice trembling. “You’re afraid that I’ll lose control again, right? Because that’s what just happened. I lost control.” A sickening realization dawned on him as he spoke and he croaked out, “I could have hurt you!”

I’m a monster. Minghao thought with panic bubbling within him. I’m a freak and a monster.

“No, you couldn’t. Didn’t I tell you about my superpower?” Chan paused, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to recall. “But whatever. You couldn’t hurt me because my superpower is invulnerability.”

Minghao allowed himself to relax a bit but he was still horrified by what he had nearly done. “But what if it wasn’t you? What if it had been Jisoo hyung who called my name? What if it had been Wonwoo hyung who tapped me on the shoulder? I could have hurt them.”

Minghao’s tone was getting more and more panicky as he spoke as if trying to convince Chan of how dangerous he was. He didn’t know how the younger boy was still so calm and collected.

“But you didn’t.” Chan reminded him pointedly. He stepped closer to the Chinese boy and touched his right wrist comfortingly. “You managed to control yourself and that’s what’s important.”

“But —” Minghao begun, still not persuaded but Chan’s voice overrode his. Clearly, the younger boy was not going to back down and let Minghao sink into fear and distress.

“There’s not buts, Minghao hyung!” Chan cut in quickly. “You’re just as dangerous as the rest of us before we trained and learnt to control our superpowers. When we first came here, we were all just as inexperienced and lost as you are right now but that’s okay.”

Minghao felt helpless and emotions. There was so many emotions and feelings swirling inside him — fear, anger, sadness, disgust — and he couldn’t help but grab hold of Chan’s outstretched hand.

“It’s not okay,” Minghao whispered to himself, in a voice so soft that even Chan couldn’t hear him. He knew it deep in his heart, despite whatever Chan said, that no matter what, he was a freak and a monster.

“We’ll help you control your superpowers better. That’s what we’re for, Minghao hyung.” Chan insisted vehemently, his eyes blazing with care and love even as he failed to realize the internal turmoil in the older boy. “We’re here to help you.”

All of the sudden, Minghao found it difficult to breathe. It was if the very air was choking him and restricting his breathing but it wasn’t just that — it was the place he was in. This was where he had found out more about his superpowers and learnt more about himself. This was where he felt the most joy and pain, the place where he had laughed and cried. This was the place where he had slept with Junhui, felt his warmth between their clothing and also the place where they had both argued and screamed at each other. This was a place of happiness and sadness, love and betrayal, and it was choking Minghao.

The house was suffocating, the hallway was suffocating, he was suffocating. Minghao gripped on tighter to Chan and pleaded, “bring me away from here. Please.”

Chan peered at Minghao, his eyes b with worry. “Minghao hyung, I —”

“Please!” Minghao exclaimed desperately. He wanted nothing more than to leave the house, the suffocating house that held so many memories of his pain and his unwanted superpowers and Junhui. “Bring me away from here.”

Back in the recreational room, Junhui was still seated in one of the many beanbags, brooding over the latest argument with Minghao.

He hadn’t meant to argue with him — it had just happened without him knowing. Junhui wanted to comfort Minghao but instead of reassuring words, fierce and angry words came out of his mouth and wounding the other boy.

Junhui wanted to apologize — truly he did — but pride was holding him back and there was always the uneasiness he felt when he was with Minghao.

Junhui was normally confident and self-reassured, but the moment Minghao was in his line of sight his confidence seem to fade and he became a mess of conflicting emotions. He had the innate desire to protect and care for Minghao but then he wondered if he was doing too much and would shrink back, using sarcasm and wit as a protective barrier between them before he cross some invisible line. This vicious cycle of alternating affection and animosity would repeat and repeat until even Junhui wasn’t sure what he ought to do.

Minghao made Junhui uneasy and Junhui didn’t like being uneasy. It was such an unfamiliar and foreign feeling, after years of being confident and comfortable with his every action. Then, Minghao came along and Junhui felt like an awkward and annoying adolescent again.

It was queer and Junhui didn’t like feeling uneasy.

But the fact remains that Junhui should apologize to Minghao. He should have been magnanimous, be the larger person and not argue with Minghao. Then, maybe, just maybe, things wouldn’t have ended up like this.

“The poor boy thought he was dead!” Junhui scolded himself angrily, his voice loud even though it was only for his ears. His voice bounced off the walls of the empty recreational room. “And you had to go and reprimand him. Wen Junhui, you used to be smart. What happened?”

Fiercely, Junhui ran his fingers through his brown locks before jumping to his feet, making a snap decision. There was no point sitting here and moping around like some sullen child — no matter how much Junhui tried to kid himself, he still couldn’t imagine an ending with Minghao and him resolving their issues just by doing that — no, he had to take charge and find Minghao and apologize.

Before he could hesitate or even change his mind, Junhui forced himself to walk to the recreational room and throw it open, yelling, “Minghao!”

If it was a romance, Minghao would still be standing outside in the hallway and he would have turn around, with unsheathed tears glistening in his eyes, at the sound of his name. Upon laying eyes on Junhui, Minghao would then rush into his arms and rest his head onto Junhui’s shoulders while his own would shake uncontrollably with sobs.

Junhui shook his head out of the disturbing image conjured in his head. “I got to stop watching all those Korean dramas with Seungkwan,” he muttered under his breath, feeling quite uneasy at himself.

Ignoring the strange feeling in his chest, the brown haired boy glanced around his surroundings but there was no one and certainly, no Minghao, standing in the hallway.

Minghao had left.

It just so happened that there was a funfair a few streets away from the apartment (Minghao has taken to calling it simply the ‘apartment’ since instead of ‘home’ like the other boys. While it may be home for them, it wasn’t for him, not just yet.) and Chan was adamant in bringing Minghao there.

When Minghao pleaded with Chan to bring him out, the Chinese boy had imagined them walking around aimlessly till he had recovered his composure enough to go back. Instead, Mi