To the people who have been with me since the beginning, thank you. This was my first story and you all helpped me discover my passon for writing. And those who have just joined, thank you as well.

            I am working on another FF after this one. I was thinking BTS? I have a few stories rolling around in my head.

            Again, thank you. Let's cheers to the second to last.

            A finger slipped under your bra strap. His lips journeyed down your neck.

            Still, the pads of your fingers rubbed at the back of his neck. You couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness there. You wished there was something you could hold on to, or at least longer hair you could run your hands down.

            If only he had a ponytail.

            Your eyes popped open.

            “Woozi.”

Joshua halted and a beat passed between you. “What?”

            It felt as if someone was twisting your lungs together. Why did you think of him? The heat from Woozi’s name reached your sweating palm on Joshua’s neck.

            The thought was merely coincidence, you thought.

            You liked Woozi, a little voice whispered back.

            Ridiculous, your mind screamed. Absolutely impossible

            “Kiss me,” you said, more determined now than ever to enjoy this kiss with Joshua.

            The cat eyes were still wide. You pulled him down to you, preparing to ravage him, but your lips barely pecked Joshua’s before he stopped it. “What did you say?”

            “I told you to kiss me.”

            “You said Woozi.” Joshua said lowly, his forehead creasing. You kissed him in response but he turned his face to the side and put a preventative hand on your shoulder

            “Don’t be like this,” Your voice cracked as you rubbed the front of his chest. “I misspoke.”

            “Were you thinking of him?”

            “No,” You were desperate to prove it to yourself. “Let me show you.” Your hand slid under his shirt. His toned stomach was hot under your cold hands.

            Joshua head tilted, back. His eyes closed with a heated gasp and a bitten lip. The church boy was tempted. “No,” He said, grabbing your hands and pulling them out. “I can’t do this.”

            The light from the kitchen cast a yellow shadow under his downturned lips.
            The hand dropped tenderly from your hip. His converse stepped softly away from you. You ran a hand through your hair, unsure of what to say.

             “You didn’t have to whisper his name when I was kissing you. A guy’s pride can only take so much.”

            “That wasn’t it! I was thinking of something else.”

            “Oh, really?” He said dryly. He turned back to you. “Just as we were kissing? What? Did you suddenly think of a grocery list?”
            You rolled your shoulders back, clearing your throat and darting your eyes away.

            “I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it. But you would be lying if you said you did.” The next words came out in a croak.                         “You like him, don’t you?”

            The revolting thought should’ve itched your throat in deference. But something in you hesitated.

            A stressed sigh escaped his frown.

            “I mean,” you realized the sudden heartlessness in your silence. “N-no. Of course not, don’t be ridiculous.”  

            “You sound so convinced,” he said. “I never would’ve thought it would be him.”

            “And you thought it would be you?” you scoffed, rolling your eyes.

             “I never thought it would be me, persay. I just always assumed you would never like him.” He leant up against the table, feathering his lips with his fingertips. “You two were so similar. I thought you would end up with someone different.”

            “Someone who like you?”

            “I didn’t like you,” His voice was stronger.

            The past tense was not overlooked.

            “I don’t know what I feel,” The adrenaline of the kiss was fading and the cold reality of your current situation was returning to you. “And I shouldn’t be thinking about this now, off all times.”

            His eyes lifted in an unsure smile and gestured with his hands. He looked down and gasped. “WHAT THE !”

            Your eyes widened at the swear and Joshua waved his bloodstained hands. You sprinted to the kitchen to get towels. “Sorry, I bled all over you.”

            The sensual atmosphere evaporated and this relieved you. If the could be dismissed so easily, then it assured what you were already thinking; there hadn’t been a lot there to begin with anyway.

            Joshua’s concerned look only dwindled a bit. “Good to know I am not bleeding. But why are you?”

            “Irrelevant.” You said shortly, pressing the towels to his hands and face before tossing them on the couch.

            “Of course.” He said. “You kiss a guy and you don’t give him the decency to tell him why you got his blood his on his face.”

            “It’s not a decency I extend to most people. Be glad I graced you with a kiss.” A strangled laugh escaped you before a numbness wiped your face blank. “I should go. You don’t want to spend a night with the girl you regrettably gave your first kiss to.”

            “I didn’t regret it. But I don’t disagree, you should leave.” His lips curled in a smile that didn’t wrinkle his eyes. “I am saying this as your best friend, I know you would rather spend your last night with a someone who isn’t me.”

            He walked you to the door and folded the keys in your hand. “Coups car is in the parking lot. I’ll drop by in the morning to help you pack.”

            Another wall hit you. Eight hours.

            You would be gone before the sun rose.

            “See you tomorrow Joshua. I am not mad at you,” you blurted out.

            Joshua sighed a laugh. He put a hand on your shoulder. You clenched his hand, not wanting to release it. “You were angry ten minutes ago.”

            “I was stupid,” You said. “I don’t want to leave while still frustrated at you.”

            Rough cotton rubbed your face, Joshua’s fingerless gloves caressed you. “You can be mad at me all you want. Just stay in contact while you are gone, okay?”

            You would probably have to ditch your phone once you left. Tick could track you through the GPS system.

             “Don’t let what happened tonight make things awkward. You are still my best friend.” He said.

            “You will always be.”  

            “See you in the morning.” He smiled and your eyes lingered on his face. You didn’t want this grin to become a distant memory. You wanted to remember every detail; the way his eyebrows crunched as he pulled them together. How his nose bunched together just as his lips lifted up. His head tilted slightly back as his eyes squinted and before you got a good look at his whole smile, he always pulled the back of his hand up to hide his teeth.

            Joshua closed the door, leaving you with the image. You walked to the van.

            The door clicked to an unlock and you swung it open. The light from the hallway illuminated the dead apartment. You closed the door and clicked on the lights. No one was home, perhaps they were still at the art gallery.

            You sighed and opened the bedroom door.

            To your surprise, Woozi sat at his desk per usual. His eyes were trained on the mouse scrolling over the complicated music program.

            You lingered in the doorway, remembering the last words you spoke to him.

            “You said you would ask for permission when you touched me. Or have you returned back to your old street trash ways? You are no better than Monster.”

            Your lips pulled up in a soundless growl. Damn, that was cold even for you.

            “Woozi,” you called to him. “I should explain,” you said, fully prepared with a lie even he couldn’t see through.

            He swiveled sharply around in his chair, “I don’t need to know where you went.” His eyes were narrowed. “But at least assure me you were safe.”

            “I was- am safe.” You said.

            “And your hand?” His pierced gaze fixed on your hand

            “It’s cleaned,” you said. “I’ll go to the doctors to get it checked out.”

            “I’ll go with you. I don’t want you get an infection like earlier this year” He said, arms crossed. He had trouble meeting your eyes and you could tell the last sentence you spoke to him was still lingering in the back of his mind

            He turned around in his chair.

            “I’m sorry!” you blurted.

            “Don’t apologize. You needed some time to figure things out on your own.” The clicking sound on the keyboard continued.

            The last thing you wanted was time alone. Your skin ached to feel his touch. The empty desire that Joshua left you with needed to be satisfied.

            A part of you wanted to tell him you were leaving. You wanted to hear his voice beg you to stay, feel his slender fingers around yours as he whispered his loyalty from under his fiery hooded eyes.

            But this was fantasy. There was no time. You still needed to pack. Knowing Woozi, he wouldn’t be asleep until dawn. By then, the gang would have already arrived. It was a war against time. And he would compose until early in the morning. Unless-?

            “Sing me a song.” You said.

            Woozi looked up, “Now?”

            “I want to go to sleep, now.”

            “I’m working on something.”
            “It’s important,” Forcing the tears wasn’t difficult. “I just n-need you to.”

            Woozi snapped up, startled by your sudden emotional change. Guilt plummeted in your stomach like an iron rod. He cared about you, and you were using his vulnerability to manipulate him.

            The iron rod in your stomach dissolved, No, you are doing this to save him.

            “Don’t get all emotional,” he stood up so quickly his chair toppled over. He put his hands on your shoulders. The pads of his fingers were rough on your bare skin. “Are you okay?”

            He was angry two seconds ago. Now, he was scanning you with big eyes. You needed to know what he was thinking when he was this close to you. God knows, you would be embarrassed to tell him what was on your mind

            You hugged him. He responded, sliding his chin over your shoulder.

            “Are you taller than me?” You sniffed.

            “I’ve always been taller.”
            “You are taller by an inch,” you pulled away, smiling looking down at your feet. “I’m sure those platform shoes had nothing to do with it.”

            Woozi flashed his teeth in a growl and grabbed his guitar. “Make this quick, I’ve got stuff to do.”

            You laid in bed as he took a seat at your desk next to you.

            His slender fingers strummed on the guitar harmoniously, humming along before his voice formed words.

            “You weren’t very simple,” He sang, “In a world where happiness is nothing more than a stupid dream. I wanted someone simple, and you were anything but that.”

            “As complicated as you were. I wasn’t simple either. Our similarities came down to our faults. Just two ed up people trying to swim in a world that kept trying to drown us.”

            “I thought I wanted simple. I wanted the happiness people lied about. But all those yearnings are gone. I don’t want it simple if having simplicity means not having you. I will give up simplicity to be in your arms, only if you will sacrifice yours feel my warmth as well.”
            “Hey,” you turned over on your side to look at him. “Isn’t this the same song you sang to me after you were shot?”

            He continued strum as he looked up from the guitar. “I’m surprised you noticed. Yes, it is.”
            “You’ve edited it.”
            “I made the ends crisper, edited the lyrics. Its better since I improvised it.”
            “You improvised that song?” You thought of the night, lying in the hotel room. The lightning pounded like the gunshots so ingrained in your memory. Woozi trembled like you. He sang you a song to calm himself to sleep, consequently, it succeeded in lulling you as well.
            “Of course!” He scoffed. “Thunder scares me less. And that night at the hotel, my mind was so fried I couldn’t remember any songs.”

            “Pretty damn good improvisation.” You rolled back over on your side.

            The gentle voice resumed, expanding throughout the room. His heavenly voice made the time pass easily. It must have been an hour now and your eyelids were heavy.

            The sound of the front door opening interrupted the daydream his music had taken you to. Through the wall, Hoshi announced that it had reached his bedtime and the other bedroom door closed.

            “Who the cares for simplicity nowadays?” The improvisational strumming on the guitar became more stressed.

            The door to your room opened. “Dude, it’s three a.m, you gotta-When did she get back?”

            “About an hour and a half ago.”
            “She owes us a big time. We installed all of her pieces.”

            “No doubt, she will have a problem with the lighting.”
            “If she has an issue with it, she can redo it herself!” DK exclaimed. “She ran off! She isn’t the one who installed them. We offered to help and we got stuck doing it all by ourselves.”

            “Have some empathy,” Woozi said drily. “She is going through .”

            “Aren’t we all?” DK said roughly. “But you don’t see me abandoning my school work.”

            You could imagine Woozi’s glare. “Give her a break.”

            “Stop excusing her behavior,” the other voice was edgy. “God knows, if I so much get a math problem wrong you are the first to correct me with no mercy but she punches someone and you say ‘she is wounded and gentle soul’.”

            “I-I do not!” Woozi’s voice cracked.

            “You know,” DK’s voice became sly. “After all of these love songs, I think everyone except her is getting it.”

            “I have no idea what you are talking about. Shut up and leave.”

            You kept still, chest rising in a sleeping rouse.

            Woozi tried to close the door but DK slipped inside. “I know what you are trying to do when you keep singing her asleep.”

            The guitar playing resumed but DK spoke over it. “She has a heart made from rocks! If she hasn’t figured out these songs are not academic in the slightest, then she never will!”

            The butterflies in your stomach erupted as Woozi slammed his guitar down. “Keep your lopsided mouth shut!” He growled, looking ready to throw a chair. “She is sleeping! Do you want her to hear you?”

            “It’s fine, she sleeps like a log. But gee, I am glad some of us get sleep in this house. Unlike me!” DK spoke in a less than thrilled tone. “I am sick of you playing for her until dawn. She goes to sleep and you keep playing for hours, and it keeps me up!. I know its for inspiration. But the inspiration should stop when I need to go to bed.”

            It never crossed your mind he extended the music sessions beyond your slumber. But now you thought about it, you did wake to discover him knocked out at your desk a little too often. Did he play himself into exhaustion?

            “If this is your route to express your feelings, pick a different one.”

            “I don’t-!” Woozi protested firmly, white knuckles gripping the bedpost.

            There was a twisting feeling in your stomach.

            “Admit it!” DK said. “These love songs are based off of something real! And playing them won’t make her realize that.”

            “Admit your feelings for Hoshi!” Woozi blurted.

            The weight in the air was suffocating. “Y-you think just because I am gay, that I like ever guy that passes me by?!” DK spluttered and crossed his arms, “I am offended at the stereotype and- and stop trying to change the topic.”

            “You spend hours scouring clubs in the morning to find him.”

            “We’ve been friends since diapers, any friend would do that.”
            “When I have a hangover you don’t make me hangover soup.”
            “You have a liver of steel.”

            “You stare too long when he changes!”

            For the first time, DK was speechless. His mouth moved soundlessly before he choked out, “Y-you admit it first!”

            “You first!” Woozi growled.

            “Fine! I may have started to have feelings for him during last semester.” DK whispered in a stressed tone. “Things have changed; I don’t feel that way anymore.”

            “Bull.” Woozi said dryly, tapping his finger impatiently on the wooden bedpost. “You always tell me when you are crushing on a guy. Why are you holding back now?”

            “He is straight!” DK whispered forcefully, throwing his hands up.

            “Don’t you think he a little too straight?” Woozi whistled. “A different girl a different night. He seems never satisfied….”

            “Don’t you try that. No, Hoshi is not covering something up.”

            “But what if he is?”

            “I am gay. I know what a closeted man looks like, and it is certainly, definitely not Hoshi.”

            “You still like him, though!”

            “You have feelings for her!” DK huffed and quickly diverted the conversation back to Woozi.  “I fessed up, your turn!”

            “There may be some… connection between us.” Woozi’s loosened a button on his shirt, his face now a bright pink.

            “Then tell her.”          

            Woozi laughed. “She can barely handle talking about her emotions in regards to a friendship. If I tried to bring up anything beyond that she would freak.”

            Your heart was beating faster.

            DK’s eyes narrowed, catching onto a particular tone in Woozi’s voice. “You aren’t going to wait for her, are you?”

            Woozi didn’t say anything.

            “Just try to tell her.” DK begged

            “The only words that make sense are lyrics to a song, and I’ve written so many songs. She hears, Never listens.”

            “You better think of some actual words, because the music isn’t working.”

            “I am waiting it out.” Woozi said. “She doesn’t need a relationship right now. She needs a friend.”

            “And you think you can be that for her?”

            “Our stories are similar. When I was going downhill after escaping my gang, Joshua was there for me and he helped me get back on my feet. I can be that.”

            “It took you years to get back on your feet, it’s a long commitment.” DK said, unsure.

            “And maybe after years, she will start to notice the songs.”

            DK let out a heavy sigh, “One-sided relationships are so stupid.”

            “Until Hoshi realizes he isn’t ing straight,” Woozi laughed as DK hit him. “Bet you fifty bucks he is bi.”

            “I’m going.” DK whispered harshly. “Tell anyone about this and I’ll start charging you for meals.”

            “It wasn’t a secret in the first place” Woozi droned.

            “I could say the same, .” He shot back bitterly.

            DK closed the door.

            Minutes passed by with only the sound of of rain hitting the window. Woozi settled back in the chair. He sighed and glided his fingertips through the end of his long hair.

            Your heart pounded faster. The strumming on the guitar became more frantic like your thoughts. Woozi had feelings for you?

            The chair creaked as he stood up. You sensed him hovering over you.

            “Don’t worry,” He spoke in the same soft voice he used on the old man in the hospital. You realized now the voice was light and dreamy, an imaginary conversation in his head being vocalized. You wondered how often he talked to you when you were asleep. “These feelings are new.”

            A weight sat on your bed. You put every ounce of control in resuming the faultless sleepy façade. “Something about seeing you when we stole the money. The way you held Tick with only one hand,” Woozi whistled. “I’ve never seen anyone so fearless before.”

            Flesh rubbed your wrist. His finger dragged into the inside of your palm. You closed your hand around it.

            “Are you awake?” The dreamy voice broke as it went down an airless octave.

            You moaned dreamily, and pulled the intertwining hands to your face. The urge to touch him was strengthening. But you had to pretend to sleep. Announcing your consciousness would be too painful. Not when you knew of your departure.

            “I guess not.” He sighed. “Wouldn’t that be something, eh?”

God, his normal voice was so lustrous and slow. It was torture.
            He tried to pull his hand away but you didn’t want to let go yet. Your grip tightened

            Everything he said resonated with you. Perhaps you had been feeling these emotions without realizing what they meant.

After the kiss, you knew how you felt about Josh. And you knew now, the feelings for Woozi were in a completely different ballgame.  

            “What a mess,” He released himself from your grip and rubbed your hair and then spent a minute or so detangling his fingers from your bedhead. “God, get a stronger hairbrush.”

            The lights clicked off. Your eyes opened as you listened intently to him crawling in bed.

            Your chest lurched, attempting to drive your body forward out of your bed and into his.

            How did you not realize it until now? You took the man who you spent every day with, you bled with, who held you when you cried, for granted. You ached for him to hold you now. You needed him to tell you it was going to be okay.

            He was always there. He was strong but he had no problem being weak for you. With his words as rough as sandpaper, he smoothed your anxieties. He comforted your pain, and you returned the favor.

            Woozi wasn’t the cure to all your sufferings. He simply was someone that would walk with you through all of the it.  

            You would have to let all of that go.

            Woozi’s snores filled the room. You got up and silently packed your things.

            The car was packed. You were about to climb in the driver’s seat when you felt your empty pocket. “The keys,” you muttered.

            You retraced your steps, quietly sliding inside the bedroom and grabbing the keys on your empty desk.

“A?” His voice was so beautiful.

            “Yes?”

            “Are you going somewhere?” Woozi was still lying down, eyes still closed in a sleepy daze.

            “I’m going to see Joshua.” You said.

            “Tell him I said hi,” He said. “Drive safe.”
            “I will.”

            “Let’s get ice cream tomorrow after we go to the hospital.”

            “We can go to the guitar store, too, if you want.” You said.

            “I’ll buy you ice cream if you buy me a new guitar pick”
            “Jihoon.” Why didn’t you call him by his real name more often? “Thanks.”

            “It’s just ice cream,” he said crankily, turning over in bed.

            He didn’t understand what you were trying to say.

            You closed the door. Your head hung low as you wiped your eyes. You prayed silently to a God that you didn’t believe in to keep him safe. Woozi was the one with faith, you knew the man upstairs wouldn’t do jack- for you, but maybe he would make an exception to save an innocent from your misdeeds.

            Keep them safe. Let it not be too late, have Tick follow me. If I die, so be it, but protect them.

            “Hey. What’s with the coat, you going somewhere?” DK stood in the kitchen, making a midnight cup of tea.

            “Going to Joshua’s,” You said hurriedly to DK. “I’ll be right back.”
            “Be safe, the roads are tricky outside”

“Tell Hoshi how you feel about him.” You said.

            DK coughed, tea spurting from his nose as he lurched forward and pounded his chest.  “What?”

            “Do it before you can’t.” Your voice had never been so honest. “You’ll regret it.”

            You ran out before you could hear his yell, “Stop”.

            This was it. As you stepped over the front step, your chest burned as if a bullet was lodged deep in the muscle. The organ in your chest wanted to stay.

            The cold air froze your veins. In order to live on without them you needed to forget this place and everything it taught you.

            The things you learnt from the time spent in this apartment; the joy they gave you, the warmth they brought to your life, this would all become a distant dream. You would leave this place how you arrived; cold and emotionless.

            It was time to wake up and forget.

            Sunlight lit his eyelids in a pink glow. Woozi stirred, twisting around the covers. He blindly reached for his phone laying next to his pillow.

            His small eyes squinted against the electronic glow. As was his morning routine, he checked the news. There was robbery. He scrolled down, scanning the story. The next article was a car crash. His eyes looked through the text, his brows raising in interest. The car was run off a highway and into a ditch, apparently a body was inside.

            He swiped through the pictures.

            “Hey, A,” He sat up and stretched. “Look at this, doesn’t this look like Coups’ van?” He looked up.

            Her side of the room was completely stripped. The paints on her desk had vanished. Any scrap acknowledging her existence had disappeared.

            He got out of bed slowly. “A!” He yelled loudly. He ripped the closet doors open to find it empty as well. Nothing was here. It was almost as if she had never existed.

            He rubbed his eyes. “A!” He repeated, tossing a drawer desk open to also find it bare. Everything was gone except a piece of paper on her desk.

            He unfolded the piece of paper and a flash of silver fell out. He bent down and picked up the necklace. It was the necklace he had given her. His eyes turned back to the letter.

            Jihoon,

            He recognized her handwriting. Little circles dotted the page where the paper bugled up and the ink ran. She had been crying.

            I’m sorry I left with only this. Trust me when I say that this is the best option. It would have been tricky to say goodbye, and you would’ve tried to convince me to stay. Both of us are too stubborn for any type of ending.

            Yes, my stuff is gone. I won’t be coming back. Tick had found me. For reasons (I won’t disclose-you would only get angry), he discovered my location. I had a limited amount of time. He was coming with his whole gang, and we stole more than a million dollars from him…he isn’t going to let me go easily. If I stayed, he would’ve remembered you as the person who helped me. Both of us would have been guaranteed a grave. Not to mention the very real possibility they would torture Hoshi or DK to with us before they finally killed us. With me gone, the least I can ensure is that everyone here is safe.

            Hopefully, the gang will follow my trail long enough for them to know I am nowhere near this town. Most likely, they tapped into my GPS system on my phone. I will travel a ways away before ditching it to divert them away from you. Don’t call in the hopes I will answer.

I also can’t tell you where I am. Don’t look for me. Telling you would put you in danger. If Tick had even an inkling you knew of my whereabouts, he would come after you. He won’t care about you unless you give him a reason to, he doesn’t care much about sidekicks.

Apologize to all of the guys. Tell them the truth about everything. Tell them about Joshua, my gang and about how you were shot. Let them judge me in my absence. Tell them how ed up I was, and how having this apartment made life bearable for once

            If one thing is certain, it is that I will miss you. There are so many things I wished I had realized and told you before I left. Describing them in a letter isn’t fair. But I stole a song from you that reflects those feelings. I wanted to keep it as a reminder. If you look in your paper file, the sheet music to ‘Simple’ is gone.

            I hope you understand what I am trying to say.

If I could stay, I would. I also wish I could write more. This goodbye isn’t sufficient but it is the best I can do. I’ve maxed out my time limit, the gang will be here sometime in the next hour

 Ponytail, Let’s pretend the song last night was the show’s end. Let us hope an encore comes some day.

              --A--- 

            The letter A was crossed out. Her pen had retraced letter so forcefully, it punctured a hole in the paper. She had written below:

            Jihoon, it was unfair I knew your name and you only knew the first letter of mine. Consider us even.

                        Forever yours,

                                    Aliee

            His fingers trembled. His small eyes scanned over the vacant room and then back to the last line, scrawled in a rush.

            P.S I took Coups’s car. Sorry. Not Sorry.

            The blue glow of the news article sparked in his mind. The pictures of the crime scene; a white van with bullet holes spotted on the side, the passenger’s seat with the blue stain, the words; ‘victim not identified’, ‘burned alive’ and ‘suspected gang related murder”.

            Woozi’s legs gave way.

            Soonyoung and Seokmin woke to a bloodcurtling roar. They scrambled out of bed and flung open the first bedroom door.

            Jihoon sat on the ripped music sheets carpeting the room. His mini piano and microphone were abandoned on the floor. His hair was parted unnaturally. The blonde hung down the front of his forehead. The long hair touching his chin and curtaining his eyes as chunks of blonde hair feathered down to his lap. The shaking scissors hacked front the inches off his hair and turned the remaining blonde into bangs.

            The scissors chopped off the last bit of his long hair. He looked up to the two standing in the doorway. Jihoon’s streaming eyes matched his red face and chattering teeth.

            His ponytail, already having been cut clean off, sat at his feet along with her letter.