That day, when Yongsun had said those words to Byul-yi, those final words, it had felt like everything had collapse. The whole world was gone and there she was, alone, in a black nothingness. The younger one walked her way home in the black infinity, feeling nothing but the pain and those words replaying in the mind, over and over. ‘’Also, at school, let’s pretend we don’t know each other, also, at school, let’s pretend we don’t know each other.’’ Like we don’t know each other. How could she pretend to not know the one person she cared the most about in the whole, wide world.

She arrived at her home, but without thinking about it, Byul-yi had gotten to her room and locked it. She didn’t want to be disturbed. This nothingness she was feeling, if someone came and talked to her, maybe it would blossom up the feeling she knew was coming. She just knew it. It was in her, ready to spring out. She didn’t want to, she wanted to hide, pretend like this was all a bad, bad nightmare that would be over soon. But she knew as soon as that feeling became real, she would know that none of this was a dream. It all was real. And she feared that. Therefore, she laid down on her bed, eyes on the roof. ‘’Don’t cry, Byul-yi, don’t cry.’’ If she could just hide in this black emptiness forever, never again feeling another thing, she would be able to avoid that one emotion, that one feeling she was fearing so badly.

She felt herself started shaking. It was very sudden and she started clenching her fists, her fingers digging unto her palm until she started to bleed, but the pain was nothing compared to what she was starting to feel now. ‘’No. no, no no.’’ Her eyes started watering up and she could feel it. It started at the very bottom of the stomach and made it’s way up, slowly. It was pain. But not a pain like she had ever felt before, it was worst then everything she had ever experienced. She started shaking even more and the tears started pushing their way out, even how much Byul-yi tried to resist it. Her face was going from trying to look as monotone as possible to a very, very sad expression, and the girl curled up into a ball. She couldn’t hold back anymore, she started bawling her eyes out. All the terrible things Yongsun might have been called behind her back started running through her head and she blamed herself. Oh, how she blamed herself. She head lost her, the one person that brought sunlight and happiness into her life was gone into the black hole that had started finding it’s way into Byul-yi’s heart and she felt desperate. Desperate for Yongsun, desperate for the moments age when they were still one.

Tears flooded her face, and gross sobs came from her. She had struggling breathing and all she could thing about was Yongsun. The beautiful hair, sincere smile, the way she laughed and the way she cried, the way every single piece of her just matched perfectly together and created her.

It was as if Yongsun’s world was collapsing, leaving only her left standing alone with all the pain and mess afterwards. She had been torn apart into a million pieces during the collapsing, but she was still alive, in pain and agony. She felt ripped apart, and it felt like she was drowning in her tears.

‘’I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!’’ Byul-yi started bawling out repeatedly, again and again and again, non-stop. Nobody was home, but she hoped someone would hear her. Someone that could help her, pick her up from this dark hole she was in and guide her way back, so she would get Yongsun again. Help her realize what was actually happening to the girl that meant the world to her, prevent the sunshine from getting beaten. But she hadn’t been able to do a single one of those things.

She felt weak, and pathetic. By every single shriek, every single tear, and every single sob it felt like she was being ripped more and more apart. Nothing mattered anymore, nothing. She had lost her. She was gone. It was no turning back. The girl, laying in a ball alone in her dark bedroom crying, had lost the one person she needed. She had found her, and lost her, and now she wouldn’t get her back. ‘’Also, at school, let’s pretend we don’t know each other.’’ Kept running through her mind, but even thinking about the beautiful voice made it hurt even more.

With every tear, if felt like another drop of joy was falling out of her. Would she never be happy again? Is this was it felt like, to be sad, truly and deeply sad? Empty? Nothing left. She needed Yongsun. She couldn’t even imagine what her life had been like without her, because she needed the older girl. Like a human needed oxygen and a flower needed water, she needed Yongsun. She made her complete. Without her, it was as if her heart had been torn into two, and the other piece was tossed into the trash.

For the longest time, Byul-yi laid there, crying, breaking down. It felt like a nightmare that never ended, only got worse, and no matter how much she tried to escape, she was stuck. She was heartbroken, brokenhearted, heartsick, heartsore, sorrowful, yes, all the words into one. She felt like if you threw every sad and desperate emotion into one person, that would be her right now. All these emotion serged into her with so much power, and she felt like she was drowning in her own tears.

But after a long while, Byul-yi’s crying started slowly stopping. Not because she didn’t hurt anymore, because she still did. The pain was overflowing and her head was beating hard, eyes swollen up. But the girl started feeling more empty. Like reality had just hit her. She had lost her. She had lost the one girl, the one girl that meant everything. It wasn’t even a question anymore, or just a hope that it was a nightmare. She knew it was reality. She felt the numbness through her whole body. With tear-wet pillow and cheeks, her crying had stopped completely and she just laid there, feeling empty, sad, confused and hollow.

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AU; Hello! I'm very sorry that this is teribly short and badly written, I felt regrets that I just left you with that chapter yesterday and said I wouldn't update today, but I decided to write this quickly and upload. The situation is that right now I'm at this place where I borrow studios to dance in, and I came half an hour early and it isn't availeble yet, so this was written in half an hour. If I have time later today, it depends on how long I decide to dance, I will maybe write another chapter and upload today, so it just won't be this short one! So look forward to that!~~ I also have more chapters written already, but I need the plot to build up a bit more before I post them.

So here, my attempt at writing angsty, heartbroken Byul-yi! Hope you enjoy~~ 

Comments, ideas and feedback are highly appriciated!!<3