And so the next week went by. And the next week. And the week after that. And another week. A month exactly on this Friday, and they hadn’t talked to each other, passed each other or even had eye contact. Byul-yi didn’t know what to do anymore. After the anger break-out at Minho, she hadn’t seen him since, not with her or with her ‘’friends’’. Even a couple days after that, she told the whole incident to the principal, laying out all the facts, and she didn’t see him for a couple of days after that, and never again. She guessed he was either hiding out, not wanting to face her again, or that he was just not attending school. After a couple of days being frustrated, angry and just didn’t know what to do with this little bubble growing up, it started disappearing again. Moreover, she kind off just wished it didn’t. She was so empty. At least she had a feeling before, anger, but now she had nothing. Just emptiness and pain. She would have thought the pain was over by now, but it just grew, bigger and bigger, and she felt just emptier and emptier for every single day. Her heart was aching more and more every day. It felt like everything had slowed down around her and the world had started going slower than usually, just to mock her, make her feel this pain for longer. It felt like she was trying to run away from this as if she was running in water; it was impossible. She felt desperate, without knowing what she felt desperate for. It was the worst feeling in the world.

This day at school wasn’t a particular exciting one. They had a free class after lunch, where they could just do about whatever they wanted. It was because they had to stay back an extra hour next week because they were going on some sort of field trip to a museum in science, and they got that back now.

Byul-yi didn’t know what to do. She was just walking down the hallway. Her other ‘’friends’’ didn’t bother with her anymore, ‘’come back when you are you’re normal self’’ they had told her. Byul-yi didn’t feel like she was ever going to get over this. They didn’t even date, it was one kiss. So why is she feeling like this? This empty feeling that keeps eating her away slowly and painfully, making a hole that should be filled with something, with someone. She used to feel this huge pain where this hole had begun to be made, but now she just didn’t feel anything. She was empty. Lost in her own mind, she didn’t notice the girl on the other side of the hall she was walking that had completely froze, stopped up to look at her. Even though Byul-yi hadn’t noticed her at first, the shorter one let her eyes wander and they found Yongsun’s eyes. Not any Yongsun, but her Yongsun. She froze in the spot as well.

This was the first time in a month they had looked at each other. Had she changed? Her blue eye was almost gone, it was only a slight tint of yellow and purple underneath it. She looked very beautiful today. It had been such a long time since Byul-yi had looked directly at her unnie’s face, all the old thought just came rushing back. Yongsun suddenly started walking quickly towards her. Wait, was she going towards Byul-yi or past her? The oldest kept the eye contact while walking straight forward. Byul-yi was in freeze, she didn’t know what to do, to move or not to move, so she stayed still.

Suddenly, Yongsun passed her. For a split second, Byul-yi thought she really hadn’t been aiming for her, she had just passed her. Like any other student in the hallway you would pass. That was until she realized Yongsun had taken a grip around her wrist, and started pulling it. Without thinking over it, she followed. Almost like a puppy. She didn’t know what was happening, why are Yongsun suddenly acting like this?

Heads turned when they walked down the hallway. More than enough rumors had been going around after they broke up their friendship and now seeing them together again confused people. Nevertheless, Yongsun didn’t seem to care, it looked like she had a destination, a place to go. Byul-yi just followed after, and then these two girls walked like this in silent for the longest time. Then, it seemed like they were at the place Yongsun had in mind, because she opened a door to a study room, got inside with the younger one and closed the door, making sure she locked it.

Yongsun, who had her back to the confused Byul-yi after closing the door, turned around with tears in your eyes.

‘’I’m so sorry Byul-yi, I’m so, so sorry!’’ she said with tears in her eyes and sadness in her voice, before running the little space that was between them and closing the space with a desperate hug. Yongsun hadn’t been able to do this anymore. It had only gotten worse and worse every day, seeing the girl she cared so much about and having to pretend like they were strangers. It had gotten so badly she even had days were she didn’t smile once.

The empty whole Byul-yi had been trying to describe for herself the last month filled up in no seconds and her heart started beating fast. Was this real? Was she awake? This wasn’t a dream? Byul-yi only used seconds to hesitate, before hugging her unnie back and burying her face into her shoulder.  She would hear Yongsun crying, and started rubbing her hand up and down on the older’s back, trying to comfort her.

‘’It’s okay unnie, it’s okay’’. Byul-yi said, while letting out a little laughter and feeling tears in her eyes as well. Happy tears.

‘’I was so stupid, why did I think that would help? It didn’t help, I just had more and more pain every day.’’ Yongsun cried out silently, before hugging the younger harder. She didn’t want to let go, she wanted to stay like this forever, forever in the arms on the girl she cared more about than the whole world.

‘’Unnie, don’t cry, yaah’’ Byul-yi said and let out another little laugher of happiness, before using her hand to dry away her own happy tears. She placed both her hands on the older’s shoulder and broke the hug, so she could she her sun’s face.

Yongsun looked at her moon. Why did she ever think that shutting this person out of her life would be a good idea? As if their minds were thinking the same, both of them leaned in at once, closed all the space between them, and let their lips touch each other. Once again, just as the first time, it felt like their mind were sparkling, and like their stomach were taking summersaults. It was the most amazing feeling and both the girls realized that they were in love. And it was nothing anyone could do about it. No one could break them apart if they tried, not even the universe. And in those seconds that felt like minutes when they kissed, they remembered every reason why they never wanted to go a full day without the other again. They separated only for a few seconds looking at each other, before they leaned in again, and this time after only a few seconds deepened the kiss. Byul-yi pushed Yongsun carefully against the wall and placed both her hands on either side of the oldest head, before placing her lips on the older once again. Yongsun let her hands run through Byul-yi’s hair, before pulling her face even closer. Byul-yi’s lips tasted like strawberries is all the oldest could think of, before deepening the kiss. They both wished the\is moment never ended. That they could stay like this forever, feeling the love between them.

But just like that their kiss had ended. Both the girls put their foreheads against each other. It was only then Byul-yi actually realized where they were. They were in the room they had first talked together on that very first day of school, when she had been Yongsun’s guide.

It was silent for a long while. Neither of the girls dared to say a word, to ruin the magical moment they were in, forehead against forehead, after a month without touching each other once. If nobody said something, maybe time would freeze and they could stay like this forever? Byul-yi lifted up her hands, placed them both on Yongsun’s cheeks, pecked her lips carefully, and fast one last time, before smiling to the girl.

‘’Do you want to ditch school today?’’ Yongsun said, looking Byul-yi directly into her eyes, hoping for a certain answer. She didn’t want to go back to that classroom after their free class and just sit there, not being able to kiss her whenever she wanted. Byul-yi chuckled a bit.

‘’Oy, unnie, are you asking drop a school day for you?’’ Byul-yi teased the older one, making Yongsun smile a bit.

‘’Well, if you don’t want to, I can just walk back to cla-‘’ she started, and also breaking away from Byul-yi, slowly walking towards the door, teasing the younger one back. If she didn’t react, Yongsun would certainly go back to the classroom. A hand grabbed around Yongsun’s wrist and pulled her back again, before the yunger one hugged her.

‘’I didn’t say that I didn’t want to.’’ Byul-yi said into the oldest ear, the older one could feel her breathe touch her skin. ‘’I’d drop everything for you.’’ At these words, Yongsun’s eyes started tearing up. She thought she had cried enough tears for the rest of her life the last months and would be out of them by now, but once again, they came pushing on. She felt so sorry. Byul-yi cared so much about her, even after a month of complete silence, she still cared so much. She had always cared and she would always care. Yongsun had been the one to break of the friendship and she felt all the guilt pouring in on her now. Byul-yi must have had a terrible time and it was all Yongsun’s fault. It was all her own fault.

‘’I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. Forgive me, I’m so sorry.’’ The older one suddenly whispered into the youngers ear, coming as a shock on the younger one, as the unnie’s voice had changed. She could hear a little sniffle, and it broke halfway through the sentence.

‘’Wait, unnie, are you crying?’’ Byul-yi said, quickly backing off a little and placing her hands on the oldest shoulder, so she could get eye contact. The American quickly dried her tears and shook her head.

‘’No, I’m not.’’ She said, before giving the Korean girl a halfway smile. It didn’t look very convincing, as she looked sad in her eyes. Byul-yi studied her sunshine for a while, before rubbing the older girls cheeks with her hand gently.

‘’Don’t cry, please. You don’t need to cry, I’m alright.’’ Byul-yi reassured the older one, because it was obvious that she felt guilt for shutting off all relation between them. Byul-yi hadn’t been okay for the last four weeks, she could admit that. However, she was okay now. That fear that had hit her that day, about the sun being gone forever, that fear no longer existed, because she saw the proof that it wasn’t gone. The sun was standing right in front of her, shining brightly like ever, with tear wet cheeks and sadness in her eyes, but still shining.

Byul-yi took the older ones hand and squeezed it, before looking directly into her unnie’s eyes, while her lips curved upwards, trying to cheer up her unnie. Yongsun smiled back sincerely, before squeezing her hand back.

They had walked out of the room and straight to their lockers to get their school bags, money and phone, before leaving the school, taking the first bus into town. From all the way from the room to the bus they hadn’t let go of each other’s hands. Right now, that didn’t care. They both knew that in an hour, reality would kick back to them and they would have to start caring, but right now, they didn’t. They had both missed the physical touch between them and wouldn’t miss a single opportunity no more. People would just have to think whatever they wanted, for now they didn’t care. As long as they had each other, everything would be alright.

The two girls had gotten on a bus and taken the seats in the back of it, so they could hold hands without getting judgmental stares. The bus was heading for centrum of Seoul, and the girls had no plans. Not anything else than that they would be together. As long as they were together, they could do whatever, it didn’t matter. They stayed silent. Byul-yi held Yongsun’s hand tightly; like it was the most precious thing she owned and would never want to lose it.

 A smile was formed on Yongsun’s face, as the two girls sat there in silent. Everything was right in this moment, and she knew deep in her heart that this was right. No matter what their parents said, no matter what their fellow students said, no matter what this society said, she knew. She knew what her feelings about Byul-yi meant, and she wouldn’t continue denying it, trying to make herself lose those feelings. A hundred more guys could beat her up, and she could get a hundred more blue eyes, but none of that would stop her from holding this girls hand.

After getting off the bus in the centrum of Seoul, they stood still at the bus stop for a while, just looking at each other and the shopping street, before they started to walk it. The only difference from here and the bus was the fact that their fingers were not twirled around each other anymore. Even though they had held hands on the public in the bus, it was different. Nobody could see it then. Here, on a busy shopping street, they were exposed to everyone. And they knew how society felt about that kind of behavior, so they, without words, mentally agreed that this would be the best. However, quickly, they began talk, just like they had used to before. Teasing each other, calling each other names, telling jokes and just what their days had been like. It was like that month  that just had passed hadn’t even existed. Suddenly, Yongsun pointed at a store. An ice cream store.

‘’Come on, let’s get ice cream! I’ll buy!’’ the older one one said excitingly, and started pulling the younger’s sleeve, which chuckled in response. Moreover, into the ice cream shop the two girls went. And it was a big ice cream store as well. With many boots to sit in, and the biggest selection of ice cream the two girls had ever seen.

Yongsun ended up picking strawberry and lemon, and Byul-yi picked chocolate and blueberry. They found a booth hidden a bit in the very back of the store, so they sat down there and started eating the ice cream. Suddenly, Yongsun felt Byul-yi’s feet just slightly resting on top of hers. She couldn’t help but smile at this, but didn’t react any more, so they left it at that.

‘’Is yours good unnie?’’ Byul-yi asked, hinting to the older’s ice cream, before eating some of her own blueberry. Yongsun, quickly looked around them to assure they were alone, before she took up her spoon and held it up in front of Byul-yi’s mouth, so she could taste, and so she did, before placing her fingers over and nodding.

‘’It’s a bit sour for my taste. Mine is better.’’ The black-haired one says, before scooping some of her own ice cream on her spoon and feeding Yongsun, which accepts it.

‘’Ah, no way! Mine tastes better than this.’’ Yongsun says and looks directly at her dongsaeng, before eating some of her own ice cream. Byul-yi doesn’t eat any more, she just starts at the oldest while she is eating. Eventually, the older notice, obviously, and she turns a bit red.

‘’Yaah! Why are you looking at my like that? Do I have something on my face?’’ Yongsun exclaims, looking directly at the younger one.

‘’Nope’’ Byul-yi says in English in a singy voice, before placing her chin on the palm of her hand.

‘’Then what is it?’’ Yongsun replies in English, since the younger one basically  insisted. In addition, she missed speaking her mother language, it’s easier for her, so she takes this opportunity, even if it will be for å short while.

‘’You are just so beautiful. A sunshine.’’ Byul-yi says with a low voice, still in English. As soon as Yongsun hears these words, she becomes fire-red in her face, and hit softly on the table, to show that she is not happy.

‘’YAH, Byul-yi, why are you saying such things?’’ Yongsun that has now switched back to Korean again says all flustered. The younger one starts laughing a bit, seeing the reaction, which is exactly what she had wanted. During this, Yongsun didn’t hear all the kakao texts she had gotten, as she had turned of the sound of her phone.

HwasaPasa (11:57): helloo?? earth calling yongsun?? where are you, lunch started ten minutes ago?

HwasaPasa (12:01): if you are dropping school today because you are having a bad day, we are coming right away1!!!

WheeWhee(12:02): What Hyejin is trying to say is that we are wondering were you are. We are waiting for you at the usual lunch table.

HwasaPasa(12:02):HYEJIN don’t interrupt i am trying to communicate to the sunsun, solar sun

WheeWhee(12:03): This is a group chat stupid, I can see everything. Also, why are you texting me, I’m literally right nex to you?

HwasaPasa(12:07): NOT ANYMORe now im on the toilet >:)

WheeWhee(12:08): omg… Hyejin, pleaae, we are spamming Yongsun. Yongsun, when you see these tell us where you are.

HwasaPasa(12:09): or i will pee on you

WheeWhee(12:12): Hyejin what the heck! Okay, I’m taking Hyejin’s phone now, sorry Yongsun, see ya when you answer!! <3

However, due to the fact that Yongsun did not see the silly text messages from her friends, that would have usually made her day, she didn’t need it. She was with the one person that made her the most happy in the whole world right now. And the fact that in four months, she would leave Korea didn’t bother her, that was still ages until. They had plenty of time. All the time in the world. At this very moment, with them eating ice cream and teasing each other, it felt like they were the only ones in the world, and they never wanted to lose the other.

And so they finished their ice cream, and spent the rest of their day in the shopping centrum. They bought sweets, and played games at the arcade, went to a cat café and just had a fun time It started to get late, and when the girls knew that had to separate to go each way, neither of the girls wanted. But Yongsun left Byul-yi, getting off the bus on her bus stop and headed back to her dorm. As happy as she felt right now, she had never felt before.

____________________________________________________

AU; WAAAAHH I'm a terrible author!!! DOn't kill me! I'm sorry for never updating, I lost everything I had written once again, and even my back up got deleted, and I was so close to just quit this story. But I cant do that without finishing it first, which I will do! So no worries, no quitting on my behalf!

School is been making me dead lately. Just tomorrow, I have to keep a 30 minute conversation going without stop or help in french. I have only taken French for three years, and it's the fifth language I'm learning, waaahh, my brain just explodes, i can't take it. So instead of doing french, I wrote a chapter here. I decided to put them together again, they have both been in way too much pain.

I'm also dancing a lot lately, in April I'm going on a dance tour for a week, where I go around on different schools and places like that and perform dance. So right now, I'm dancing a lot, getting my skill up and preparing fior the training that'llbe, because it's going to be intense and hard. But I'm excited!!~~  My back is swollen and blue from dancing so much, hahaha~~

Sorry for bothering you with my rambling! I can't promise a new chapter tomorrow, but since it's friday and I have no plans, I will try my best! SOrry once again for not updating!!