I can’t feel my face when I am with you but I like it

It is for the better.

The sentence entails more than what Minseok is telling himself

In all truth and fairness, he has an alright body. Not too skinny. Not plump as well. He does not have the healthiest lifestyle and habits now that he is already in a stage in his life where he prefers sleep than jogging on weekends. His body is in perfect condition. He is not in a diet or has a work-out routine. He is contented with walking to and from work as his daily physical activity. Although he currently lacks motivation to look after himself, he does not really need to enroll in a gym to stay fit and fab. But things just got a little out of control when he saw those dimples.

It happened a little over a month ago.

Minseok was walking home from work that night. He was grateful that Jongdae, his friend and boss, did not let him stay more hours that day after doing overtime work for the past three days. Being the head IT of Jongdae’s series of game apps is fun and he loves it. The only thing he quite despises is when the system s up because Minseok has to stay in the office to monitor everything together with his engineers. It is literally all fun and games with viruses, hackers, and codes.

It was his usual route going home. Because he hates riding crowded buses in rush hour, he prefers walking, and according to his good friend who is a future medical practitioner, walking is good for one’s health. And the spring weather was really nice. Not too cold and not too hot. The trees had started regaining their leaves, the flowers on the sides of the streets had begun blooming and coloring the once dull city that was swamped by snow. The lights coming from the live establishments were making Minseok warm in his big hoodie jacket despite the cold night wind.

He was contemplating if he was going to spend his night in his favorite pub and catch the football game in there instead of watching it alone in his small television at home. He could call his friends to join him. But then, he remembered none of them was really into football or any sport at all.

Ironically, his three best friends are into music. Jongdae sings. Baekhyun sings too and plays the piano. Chanyeol composes, plays the guitar and drums. There are times that the three of them would get in Chanyeol’s studio to make music for fun and Minseok would only be there to man the camera to for documentation. He often wonders why he is friends with those three when the only common thing about them is that they all grew up in the same neighborhood (except for Chanyeol. He met him through Baekhyun because they went to the same university and now he just could not shake him off his life).

He could also call Luhan, his ex-boyfriend who became a complicated presence in his life after their break-up. He is the only person Minseok could talk to about football but he did not want to be the one to call first. What he had with Luhan now was not as easy as a phone call. He had to consider a lot of things before he calls him.

Minseok had decided that yes, he would like to watch the game with a couple of drinks and strangers who understand football like he does. He wanted to reward himself after days of working hard and kissing their clients’ asses.

The pub is on the third floor of a building two blocks away from his house. It does not have an elevator so Minseok had to climb up the stairs to get there. If only he did not like the place and the beer is not the cheapest in this side of town, he would not bother to torture himself.

One more floor, he had told himself when he reached the second floor. Usually, there is not any activity in that floor because, as far as he know, only a computer rental shop was occupying it. The other spaces were vacant. However, Minseok was surprised when he saw a new business had just opened and taken the rest of the office space remaining. There were red and white balloons on the door and loud hip-hop music was blasting on the speakers outside. Curious, he checked what it was.

‘Transformer Fitness’ the silver sign on top of the receptionist called out Minseok’s attention instantaneously, blaring and offending Minseok’s eyesight. He could not see what was inside but he had an idea that, obviously, it was a newly-opened gym. The receptionist was a woman wearing a red razor back shirt and a very tight gym pants. She had a nice body, toned arms, and firm buttocks. A perfect person to represent the company.

She had greeted him amicably when she saw Minseok lingering in the area. “Hi Sir! Welcome to Transformer Fitness! How may I help you?”

Minseok took a step back. “Oh no, I was just… I did not..”

“It is our opening night! We give huge discounts to our first 100 costumers,” she continued. Her voice was still cheerful. She handed Minseok a flier that he could not refuse. There were many programs written there. Minseok did not understand a thing about gyms and fitness studios. He was not really interested.

Minseok only likes football and computer in his life. That was about to change, though, when another person came out.

Minseok could not help but gulp when his eyes landed on those milky white arms, those sharp collarbones that were exposed and emphasized by the black singlet he was wearing. Minseok could see the man’s s poking out on his shirt and making him think of ways to make them harder than they already look. He swallowed as his eyes went down on his abdomen because holy they looked so flat and firm and he thought chocolate syrup was a better way to go than ice cube if he was going to them and—

A voice interrupted his not-so-innocent thoughts. He looked up and swallowed the lump in his throat when the face of that gorgeous body was as stunning. He really was beautiful, a type of beautiful that Minseok does not see in an ordinary night on his way to his favorite pub. How that beautiful face could possesses that god ing y body? How could life be so unfair?

“Hello! I am Yixing, one of the instructors here.” The man had introduced himself.

So, Yixing was his name. Yixing was a beautiful name, perfect for such a beautiful human being even though Minseok did not recognize it as a typical Korean name. The more unusual it was, the more it sounded attractive to him. Minseok felt like he was having a crush on a name. This was not normal at all.

“Hi….” That was Minseok’s attempt to answer.

“We just opened and we have these discounted packages.” Yixing was pointing out on the fliers and explaining said packages. Minseok was not paying attention on the he was talking about. He was just focused on his voice and how his arms were brushing against the sleeve of his hoodie. He kept on talking and Minseok kept on nodding.

He had truly believed that Yixing has magic powers that could persuade people because the next thing Minseok knew, he was filling out forms and giving his credit card to the receptionist to pay for ship. He just ing enrolled himself in a gym.

So, that was that. That was the tale why Minseok is going to the gym thrice a week even if he was supposed to spend his free time sleeping or playing fantasy football with Luhan. Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Chanyeol were all surprised when they found out about it. They were all excited about the results. Jongdae even bought him two pairs of support briefs (for his to not sag from working out. Jongdae’s words. Not his).

It is for the better, Minseok tells himself over and over again while he climbs up the familiar staircase leading to the gym after a month. He convinces himself every day that this will be beneficial than a burden. The only downside he can think of is the large amount that will be billed to his credit card every month. The rest are all advantageous; he could start with a diet now and be serious about it and he could achieve the body he had always dreamed of (his Yunho-hyung will be proud of him when he finds out!). But, of course, the idea of seeing Yixing three times a week is the greatest benefit.

-oOo-

One of the biggest challenges in this diet program that Minseok is in is watching what he eats. To achieve a better body, he must adopt a healthier lifestyle which means he has to cut down drinking alcohol and coffee to a minimal intake. He also has to watch what he eats. Unlike before, he cannot join Chanyeol anymore when he invites them to his eat-all-you-can weekend holiday every month as the tall big-eared fellow gets coupons from his company. This week happens to be that week so Minseok is trying his hard not to give-in to the temptation of unlimited meat and a liter of beer.

“I have gym tonight so I can't go.” Minseok says to Baekhyun over the phone. He is walking to the gym, bag slinging on his shoulders as he imagines three tables of food that he will be missing tonight. His mouth is watering with the thought but he has to do this for the sake of himself and the amount of money he paid for the membership (maybe Yixing possesses a hypnotizing power because he convinced Minseok to avail one year).

He can already hear Chanyeol and Jongdae in the background. They might be in the car on their way to the buffet place. It is a habit that Chanyeol will pick them all up and Minseok's apartment is the last stop. The food is not the only thing that is tempting. Minseok wants to meet his friends as well since it has been a month since they all went out together (except Jongdae because they work in the same office). He wants to spend time with them too.

“It is Saturday!” Baekhyun bellows a little too loudly Minseok has to distance his phone from his ear for a few centimeters. “You can go tomorrow morning so you can burn all the calories you will consume tonight!”

It is a nice plan. However, the thing is Yixing's day-off is Sunday. He paid for Yixing's service too as his trainer so their schedules have to be in sync.  Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays are the days for gym or also known as “Yixing Time”. He cannot just miss one day because missing one day means spending one more day apart from the cute gym instructor.

Minseok will not deny that this is a little bit crazy for him. Enrolling in a gym just because he is attracted to an instructor. Luhan will laugh at him when he finds out (oh now he remembers he hasn’t told him). Jongdae, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun will surely raid the gym to see the latest apple of his eye, they will embarrass him in front of Yixing, and he will have to live with it forever.

Baekhyun cuts off the line when he cannot persuade Minseok anymore. He had tried to make Jongdae guilt trip Minseok by telling him that he saved his this week after ing up at work. It was no use because Minseok told him that he still has not returned the money he borrowed from him which he used to pay for the daring trip to the casino he did few months ago that he has not paid yet. It was the end of conversation.

When Minseok arrives in the gym, Yixing is attending to a female customer. The lady is lifting weights on the bench. They seem to work out on her biceps. She is probably on her late thirties but her make up feels like she is trying to be 21. (Who wears make up while working out???)

Minseok goes to the lockers to settle his things there. He hits the treadmills while he is waiting for Yixing to finish his session. It has been more than a month since he started this so he already knows the routines. Cardio first, then stretching, and then they will do the specific work-out for his biceps, thighs, and abdomen.

The gym is quite packed on weekends but Minseok is lucky enough that there is a vacant treadmill for him. He greets Changmin, one of the instructors who is taking a break by doing sprints on the machine. He is tall (like really tall), and he has a seamless body. It is comparable to Hercules. The cuts on his biceps are visible even if he does not flex them. You can see the bulge of his chest through his white tank top. And his abs. If he is not already attracted to Yixing, he will ask Changmin's abs to marry him. Minseok's goal is to have a perfect body like Changmin.

“Hey, Minseok!” Yixing appears in front of him while he is jogging on the treadmill. Sweat is already covering Minseok's skin. He is panting and seeing Yixing's face all of a sudden does not help with his breathing.

Minseok has to stop the machine so he could breathe properly. He reaches for his towel to wipe on his forehead and neck. “Hi Yixing.” He greets his instructor back.

“Ready?” Yixing asks.

“I still have ten minutes. You can go catch a water break first.”

Yixing flashes him a dimpled smile that almost knocks Minseok out. He watches as Yixing dashes to the employees' locker room and notices that he is wearing a shirt whose sleeves are ripped. It reveals Yixing's sides. Minseok could see the ripple of muscles on his abdomen which gives a sneak peak of his s. He is not new to this. In fact, Yixing does not have a liking in following protocol (because they have a uniform which is a grey shirt that has the gym's logo embedded on the chest). He always dresses like that, always something revealing, either that or a very low v-neck shirt, that makes Minseok's mouth water.

Minseok attempts to shake the image off his head. He needs to focus. He is not there to lurk at the instructor (who is he kidding?). He is there to improve his body and prove to everyone that nothing is impossible if one has determination.

As promised, Minseok finishes cardio in ten minutes. Yixing is back from his short break, still as stunning and gorgeous as ever. They proceed to stretching. Minseok follows Yixing's movements as he looks at him at the wide wall mirror. The routines are very easy for the instructor, body moving freely like it is part of its nature, like it is on autopilot once he starts to work. Minseok should not be amazed by it anymore, but the brown haired boy never fails to mesmerize him whenever they do this. The firm muscles on his thighs or his delicious protruding collarbones always make Minseok dazed for a few seconds.

“Are you okay there, Min? You need help?” Yixing interrupts his thoughts. He does not notice that he had stopped stretching his legs and is caught staring at Yixing like he had a . It is really embarrassing to space out in the middle of work-out.

Minseok shakes his head and continues with stretching, hiding the blush on his face by pressing his head onto the floor while he reaches for his toes. Yixing helps him by pushing his back further down on the floor, applying more pressure as he counts down to ten before he releases him.

After stretching, Yixing lets Minseok do some lifting. This is the most challenging part of the work-out. Minseok is not used to carrying heavy stuff in his life. He has not exerted this much effort before as he does now. He is grateful that Yixing is going easy on him, only asking him to lift the two-pounders in the first week of his training. Now, he can lift up to 12 pounds of weight.

They are working on his arms and chest first as Minseok is still in the process of losing the remaining fats in his abdomen. Yixing complimented that he has nice arms and buttocks (Minseok had tried to stop a moan to escape from his lips when Yixing touched his arms for the first time. He had been hesitant to stand half- in front of his instructor but he had to as Yixing wanted to see what they would work on). His thighs are marvelous too (Yixing's words. Not Minseok’s). “In six months, you can flaunt your body in public already.” Yixing had assured him.

One hour swiftly passes by. Minseok does not notice it until Yixing tells him that his next client has arrived but he could stay in the gym if he wants to continue working out.

“Yifan!” Yixing calls his client. Minseok is not normally a jealous person but this Yifan, which he shares with Yixing every Saturday, tests his limits. Yifan is tall, gorgeous face attached to his head, and a body that does not need training or any help from Yixing anymore. Minseok always wonders if he goes to the gym just to make all the people there envious of his presence or he gets satisfaction on making people lose their self-esteem.

Minseok had heard that Yifan has been Yixing's client ever since – since Yixing was still working for another gym. They say they are really close (it's pretty obvious) because of their working relationship. But people often murmurs that they have something more going on between them. Minseok does not want to know more or he will quit.

It does not help that Yifan can easily touch Yixing on places that Minseok still cannot. Yifan can hold him on his waist while they talk about something or put his arms around his shoulders casually without a reason at all. Yixing will always giggle beautifully at the taller man or hit his arms playfully as he laughs at whatever he is telling him. Minseok is not normally a jealous person but Yifan sometimes forces him to be one.

So, whenever Yifan arrives, Minseok will start packing up his things to leave. He declines Yixing's invitation by saying he is meeting his friends tonight. He tries not to look at Yixing's direction where he helps Yifan stretch on the ball, holding his thighs to keep the taller in balance. So much for not looking, he does not see that there are dumbbells scattered on the floor where he is passing by, sending him tumbling down on the carpeted floor and hitting his forehead on one of the stupid weights. He yelped in pain, attracting Yixing's attention. What a smooth move.

Yixing comes running to him to see if he is alright. He wants to sink on the floor and disappear from Yixing's life forever.  “Minseok! Are you okay?!”

Minseok is covering his forehead with the palm of his hands, wincing in pain. He feels the spot burning and he is sure a big bump will grow on it in a few minutes. Yixing takes his hand and helps him getting up. Not long after, Yifan is also there to see what happened. He is almost certain that Yifan is internally laughing at him for the uncool stunt he just did.

“I am fine,” Minseok says. He just wants to leave and cry in his room.

“He seems fine.” Yifan tells Yixing then looks at Minseok. “Right, bro?” The tall man smirks at him, only one side of his lip quirks up. It is almost mocking that makes Minseok feel a lot worse.

We are not brothers.

Minseok only nods. Because he is a caring person and Minseok is his responsibility inside the vicinity, Yixing excuses himself from Yifan to drag Minseok to the locker room. He let him sit on the bench while he scrambles on something in the employees' pantry. He comes back with an ice pack on his hand that he puts on Minseok's forehead. Minseok hisses with the sudden cold on his skin but it relieves the throbbing on his head.

“I am sorry. I should have put the dumbbells back to their racks.” Even if it is not his fault, Yixing is apologizing to him. Minseok cannot believe the person in front of him. How someone with a badass body could be this good-hearted?

“Not your fault. I was not looking so I tripped.”

“Be careful next time so we can avoid this happening. I do not want you hurting yourself inside the gym. This place should be a safe place for my clients.”

Minseok's heart drops from his chest upon hearing that.

Clients. That is all we will ever be.

-oOo-

Minseok's hard work is starting to get noticed by people. In the office, his co-workers are telling him that they think he is losing weight (or he is gaining because he is getting ripped now). When he went home to visit his parents for the weekend (sadly, he has to skip gym for his mother's birthday, though he made up for it by attending on Monday), they told him that his cheeks were sinking and that they were worried that he was not eating properly. Minseok assured them that he was eating properly now more that he has ever in his life. Yes, his cheeks are sinking gradually in exchange of his jaws now beginning to be more prominent.

The changes do not escape his friends' hawk eyes. Since they cannot make Minseok come to their monthly buffet date, Baekhyun, Jongdae, and Chanyeol, decide to bring the date in Minseok's apartment. Minseok is surprised to see them at his door carrying two buckets of chicken, three boxes of pizza, and god knows how many cans of beer.

“What the hell?” Minseok asks as he watches his friends enter his apartment without his permission. Chanyeol and Jongdae place the food on his coffee table while Baekhyun dashes to his kitchen to get plates and cups. In a blink of an eye, there is chaos in his house. Knowing how messy and careless they are, he is certain that he will spend a long time cleaning after they leave. Being a clean freak that he is, he often questions himself why he is still friends with these bunch of pigs.

Chanyeol already has the remote in his hands, Jongdae takes a seat on the couch as he munches on the spicy chicken wings that Minseok is afraid will stain his furniture, and Baekhyun is busy putting the beer cans on the glass table without putting coasters underneath them. Steam can be seen coming out of Minseok's ears and nose while he allows them to trash his place once again.

“DAMN IT, BAEK! I TOLD YOU MILLION TIMES I WILL USE YOUR FACE TO WIPE MY TABLE IF I SEE A RING MARK THERE.” Minseok yells dramatically, pulling out the place mats under the coffee table while he tries to salvage the remaining sanity in him.

“Oh, do not be such a drama queen.” Baekhyun waves him off. He settles beside Chanyeol who just puts a movie on for them to watch. He rests his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder and Chanyeol starts feeding him pizza. They are cute and all but Minseok hates the couple for dirtying anything they touch in his apartment.

“Anyway...” Jongdae interrupts. He is not paying attention on the crappy movie Chanyeol picked (they have watched School of Rock many times but Chanyeol still keeps on including it in their movie list. They are not 15 anymore for god's sake). He is only there for food and gossip. “How is your I-am-getting-buffed-to-get-into-my-instructor's-pants project?”

Jongdae is an observant person. Of all Minseok's friends, he is the only one who knows when Minseok is down because Minseok has this habit of hiding his feelings especially when he is depressed from his friends. He does not want to burden them with his problems and to affect their jovial disposition by being all mopey. It is the same way when Minseok is happy or something is going on with his life that is unusual. Jongdae must have sensed that going to the gym entails more than getting fit.

“What?” Minseok jerks.

“Do not give me that look, Kim Minseok. I know you have a little crush with someone right now because you only cut your hair short like that when you want to impress someone because you think your forehead is handsome.” Jongdae says with a single breath.

Jongdae is not entirely wrong, though. Perhaps it is kind of a habit because he had only been with Luhan (all throughout college) and Luhan had told him that he looks good when he has shorter hair and when his forehead is visible. When he and Luhan broke up and decided to just be friends (with other benefits), that mentality stayed and every now and then when he dates someone, he would get compliments with that hair. He feels manly and y.

“It is either you have a crush on your instructor or one of the people who goes to the gym with you. My gut feeling tells me you have a hot instructor.” Jongdae continues.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol are too immersed in the movie, singing Heal me, I am heart sick together. It is better this way than have his three stupid friends interrogate him about Yixing. He is uncomfortable talking about Yixing yet as he is still not sure what he wants to do with his feelings for his instructor, if there is really any in that matter. He likes Yixing but he is not certain if he likes him that much to make a move.

Minseok takes a big gulp from his beer can. “There is a cute guy but I really just want to lose some weight and gain some confidence.”

“Luhan is excited.” Baekhyun suddenly says.

Jongdae rolls his eyes. Everyone is aware that Luhan still has a thing with Minseok but he hooks up with other people. They still meet each other because they have this special bonding called “Football nights” and other types of nights that Minseok does not want to discuss further with his friends.  Most of the time, it's harmless. On some nights, it's not. When he really needs it, Minseok swallows his pride and asks Luhan for quick . They hang out as friends without being awkward about what occurs at night. They are both okay with it.  

Minseok can lie to everyone and to himself but not to Jongdae. He convinces his friends that he is okay with that set up because he does not want his ex-boyfriend to know that every after , he wonders if they could just go back to what they were in the past and be an exclusive couple again.

“You and Luhan need to stop ing around. Both of you should get serious relationships.” Chanyeol comments.

“Like what you have Baekhyun?” Jongdae asks, almost gagging.

“Yes, of course.” Chanyeol nuzzles his face on Baekhyun's neck and makes kissy faces at him. It is gross but Minseok has to admit that what Baekhyun and Chanyeol have is real and strong. It took them years to realize that they are in love with each other.

“The point is, you should make a move on this cute guy.” Jongdae goes back to the main topic.

“Go for it!”

“Tap his muscly !”

Minseok feels he is going to get in trouble whenever he considers taking his friends' advices.

-oOo-

Minseok extends his hours in the gym after Yixing tells him that Yifan is not coming because he is out of town. He takes the opportunity to spend more time with his instructor without the intimidating giant. Everything is going on Minseok's way the whole night. Yixing had even asked him to walk with him since he did not have to stay longer when he has no other client to attend to. It is Minseok's chance to get closer to him, maybe even have coffee with him before they separate ways. However, fate likes making fun of him first before it grants his wishes when he accidentally slips in the locker room while he is staring at Yixing. He is too immersed at looking how even while dressing up, his movements are still so perfect. The way he slips in and buttons his jeans are heavenly. Minseok can already hear the angels singing.

Yixing, whose back is facing Minseok while he puts on clothes, hears the loud thud when Minseok's collides on the floor. He gasps and then rushes to Minseok to help him get up. It is extremely painful, Minseok feels like he has dislocated his hip bone. He has no face to show Yixing anymore. When his instructor asks him what happened, he does not know what to answer as he has no idea how he fell in the first place. All his brain is telling him is that Yixing is still half and is hovering on top of him, assaulting all his senses with his proximity.

Minseok feels lightheaded, aching hips and forgotten. Yixing helps him up and checks if he is hurt somewhere. Minseok does not realize that he is not dressed yet, that the towel around his waist is not covering him anymore. He is stark in front of Yixing. The towel must have fallen when he slipped. He only senses that he is exposed when Yixing picks up the discarded towel on the floor and draped it over his lower body.

Minseok is screaming internally.

“Go finish dressing. I will wait for you outside.” Yixing says, tapping him on the shoulder and flashing him his usual dimpled smile.

To make sure Minseok did not break any of his bones, Yixing insists that they go to the hospital. The fall was hard and Yixing is worried that it could affect his body when they work-out again. Minseok has no choice but to agree because, although what happened earlier was really embarrassing, it is still another opportunity to be with Yixing.

The two of them ends in a 24-hour cafe beside the hospital after the check-up. Minseok's bones are fine, save for the large purple bruise on his buttocks that will take a few days to heal. Other than that, he is perfectly fine.

While in the cafe, Minseok learns that Yixing does not drink coffee but he likes sweet things. They share a blueberry cheesecake (that mostly consumed by Yixing) as they drink their green tea and caramel macchiato. Yixing never wanted to be a gym instructor for a living initially but because he needed fast money to support himself, he took it.

“I enjoy what I do. It is fun helping people who want to change themselves.” Yixing explains.

It is already one in the morning but they are still talking nonstop. Perhaps it is because of the caffeine (green tea also has caffeine!) keeping them awake in the middle of the week. Minseok is anxious that he would only bore out Yixing. He could only talk about football enthusiastically aside from his wide knowledge of the best pizza places in town. Despite this, Yixing does not yawn even once and is actually interested about the difference between cheeses.

They also talk about more serious stuff, which surprises Minseok. He did not think Yixing would open up to him this easily. He could not help but ponder if Yixing is like this to all people especially his clients. Does he talk about things like this with Yifan too? Do they go out for coffee and stay late after their session? Yixing is too kind to everyone that Minseok cannot think more about his actions even if his heart was making weird thumps inside his chest and telling him that this is a progress.

Yixing told him that he has not finished college yet but next year, he wishes to go again since he only have year left before he graduates. He majors in Chemistry (Minseok laughs at how it is not related to his job right now). In turn, Minseok shares him that he is working in a support center that caters to the customers of an online gaming app. He admits that it is not the most rewarding job but the pay is good and his boss is his friend so it is not that bad at all.

“I guess we are the same. I do not particularly like my job but I help people when they could not figure out what to do with their app and Jongdae relies on me.” Minseok says.

He goes off with a smile on his face as he thinks about Yixing and the things they had shared with each other. Although he is still shy around Yixing, blushing every now and then when he lets out a hearty laugh at the things he says or when Yixing would mindlessly touch his hand out of nothing, it is a giant improvement from what they were the previous month.