Eight
Unexpected DeliveryWalking through the park, just the three of them, Jongin couldn’t shake the feeling that he had wandered into someone else’s life. To anyone else they would look like a family—a loving husband and wife, perhaps—taking a stroll with their baby, talking together, making plans for the future. This had been his life once, and it had left him so scarred that he had sworn he would never let himself come close to it again.
Until he had met Inhee and been unable to forget her. And now was the moment he had to decide. It wasn’t fair on Inhee to keep pushing her away and then changing his mind. It he was going to take this chance, he had to commit to it.
“So…” he started as they exit the park. “Have you got plans for dinner?”
“They’re a few bits and pieces in the fridge. I was just going to rustle up something simple. Or maybe order in…”
He could see the doubt in her eyes as she finally looked up at him, and he cursed himself for the confusion he must have caused her over the past days. He was more aware than anyone of hoe hot and cold he had blown. He wanted to reach out and smooth the lined of concern from her face. Instead he offered an encouraging smile, urging her to take a risk—as he had—and invite him in.
“We could order something together?” she suggested at last.
“I’d love to,” he agreed, opening the gate for her.
Back in the apartment, Jongin reached across for another slice of pizza and asked the question that had been nagging at him since they had left the hospital.
“So, did your sister say anything about what her plans are with…Nari?”
“It’s still early days. I don’t think she’s really in a position to decide anything yet.” Inhee took a long drink of her iced tea. “But…”
“But?”
“She said that she wants me to take care of Nari permanently. If I don’t want to, or can’t. I don’t know what will happen. She’ll go into care, I suppose.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
“About Nari going into care?” She fought off a wave of panic and nausea, reminding herself that the social worker had told her that they tried their hardest to keep families together. That Nari being taken away completely would be the last resort. “Honestly, the thought of it makes it hard to breathe.”
Jongin looked at her closely and she dropped her eyes, not enjoying the depth of his scrutiny, feeling as if he was seeing all too much of her.
“There must be a lot of fantastic foster parents out there. And couples waiting to adopt. All you ever hear on the news is the horror stories, but every type of family has those. I’m sure that Nari would find a happy home if that’s what you and your sister decides is best.”
Inhee shook her head, not trusting herself to speak for a moment. After a long breath, she chose her words carefully. “But she should be with her family. I have to look after her.”
“Why do I feel there’s more to this story? Jongin asked.
“What do you mean? I just want to take care of my family.”
“It’s not all your responsibility.”
He was using his careful voice again, and she read the implication in that loud and clear. He thought she was being irrational, that she needed talking down like some drunk about to lose her temper. Well, if he carried on like this…
“It’s okay to admit that maybe sometimes you need help.”
“I don’t need help to look after my niece, thank you very much. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear. If you were hoping that maybe I’d wake up one day soon unencumbered by a baby. It’s not exactly what I had in mind for the next few years, but she’s my responsibility and I’m not handing her over to strangers.”
He held his hands palms up and sat back on his stool, surprise showing in his raised eyebrows and baffled expression. “Whoa! I’m sorry Inhee. That’s not what I meant at all. I’m not going to lie and say that Nari doesn’t make things complicated, but I’d never expect you to give her up. I’d never want that.”
“Then what do you want? Because I’ve got to tell you I’m struggling to keep up. The last time we talked you were very clear that I was nothing more to you than a temporary lodger—and not even an unwelcome one at that. But now here we are, strolling through the park and sharing dinner. Why?”
She hadn’t meant to get mad at him, but he’d already squashed her every romantic and fantasy, when she’d only just started to realise the feelings she was developing, and it was suddenly all too much. She’d held back before—keeping her feelings at the back of her mind, not questioning his—and she’d had enough. They were both grown-ups. If he was man enough to have these feelings than he’d damn well better be man enough to talk about them.
“Because I can’t make myself not want this. And I’ve tried, Inhee. I’ve tried for both of us. Because I’m not the right guy for you. I’ve tried to keep my distance because I know that this isn’t good for either of us—I can’t be the person you need me to be. But something keeps throwing us back together and I don’t know if I can fight it anymore.”
Man enough, then.
Inhee froze with a slice of pizza halfway to . Complete and utter honesty was what she had been hoping for, but really the last thing she’d been expecting. The raw power of his words made her want to move closer and pull
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