To be truthful, I never had problems with getting a girlfriend. Girls will confess their love for me, and I will agree to be their boyfriend. I took special care of our love but they will still left me in the end. I just didn't know what the problem is. That is ... until I fell in love with Ji Hyo. 

I remembered enjoying her company as a friend and colleague. I remembered feeling thousands of ants biting my heart when I heard she was together with her CEO. I remembered to be by her sides, feeling the ants in my heart again, when she sobbed about her breakup. I did not know what was that feeling. I just know after that I started feeling shy around her and yet I wanted to be by her side and taking better care of her, more than to the other people. That sort of surprise me, that was not what I was, I enjoyed taking care of everyone, but yet I didn't feel it was wrong, just weird.

The ants came back again when I saw Gary kissed her. Man, I was so happy when I took her in my arms, but that kiss took my heart on a roller coaster ride, from cloud nine straight to hell. My heart was hurting so much, but been a professional I completed the whole recording and tried to please Ji Hyo. Feeding her, her favourite foods, I knew that please her very much. I was happy again especially when I saw Gary didn't know what she liked initially. When I saw the different breed of dogs, I remembered the day we happened to pass by a pet shop, she had exclaimed with delight on the cuteness of the bull dog. I immediately chose that, and oh boy was I right. It really please me too.

Jae Suk asked me over lunch one day, "When are you going to confess to Ji Hyo?".

"Confess? Confess what to Ji Hyo?" I was confused.

"Kim Jong Kook, you really don't know?" Jae Suk was shocked. "You are so obviously in love with Ji Hyo. Even Gary and Kwang Soo knew it. How could you don't know? I thought you had a lot of relationships before!" Jae Suk used his show voice to questioned me.

I was getting more confused. “I am in love with Ji Hyo? Who said I am in love with Ji Hyo? How can I be love with Ji Hyo? What do you mean everyone knew but me?” I am shocked and surprised at Jae Suk’s word. I was in love with Ji Hyo, how could it be? She was my friend and colleague. When did I fall in love with her?

Jae Suk shook his head. "This Jong Kook is impossible, Poor Ji Hyo, she was already so obvious and yet this thick skull did not even realise who he had lost his heart too. No wonder his relationships never lasted any more than two years. " He left me to ponder upon his questions.

I went home thinking about Jae Suk question. I went to my gym and start exercising, but that didn’t clam me down. I love Ji Hyo? I love Ji Hyo? I love Ji Hyo????

I went through motions for the next 3 days; the only question on my mind is I love Ji Hyo? I really love Ji Hyo? I really do?

Suddenly it hit me. OH MY GOSH!!!! I REALLY DO LOVE JI HYO!!!!

I finally broke of my trance and immediately felt distressed! I had never never confessed to girls before. For the last 30 over years, a big fat NO. How was I going to do that to Ji Hyo! I was in a jeopady, what should I do? To top it off, tomorrow there was a running man recording, which meant I would get to see her.. her… I sigh … I did miss her these few days but how was I going to face her tomorrow knowing I love her.

Tomorrow came too soon, I saw her from afar and my face immediately felt warm and those damn ants are back biting my poor heart. I quickly turned to Haha and started having a conversation with him. Then I heard her sweet voice greeting everyone on the set and finally settling herself between me and Haha and joined our conversation. I thought my face must have turn red because Haha was looking at me funnily. I murmured an excuse and walked away and finally able to breathe again. For the whole recording that day I kept my distance and yet my eyes tracked her every move. Argh! What was the matter with me? I decided then and there to confess my love or else I will really fall into depression.

I gathered all my courage and texted her “Ji Hyo, could we meet up for a dinner?”. She replied, “If you are treating, then yes”. I smiled at her reply and met her at a small restaurant that we often went to.

My heart was in my mouth the whole time we had our dinner. I was trying to find the best opportunity for my confession, so I was sort of distracted during the dinner. Ji Hyo had sensed my discomfort and became a bit frustrated.

“What is wrong with you oppa?” she asked.

“I ee … I … “, I stuttered.

.”Oppa, did you have something to ask me?”

“yes ..i ..”, I must have blushed and turned red. I only felt heat on my cheeks and ears.

“Oppa, do you want to ask me question about a girl” she asked delicately.

I nodded my head shyly.

Her face turned white, but yet she still said, “Shoot away”.

I was too nervous to notice her face, “I..ee..wanted to..ee.ask ..”

“Ask her to be your girlfriend” she help me completed the sentence.

I nodded my head again.

She took a deep breath, “You want me to help you ask?”

I immediately stand up, shaking my hands, “no no .. how could you ask, it would be real funny. I .. I want to..”

Suddenly, she stood up and I saw the tears falling from the corner of her eyes. She said, “ Sorry oppa, I forgot I had an appointment" and she turned to leave.

I quickly settled the bill and chased after her. Finally, I caught with her at her car, and she was crying so miserably in the car. My heart felt so painfully seeing her tears. I unlocked her doors and hugged her.

“Why are you crying”

“Its .. its because of you oppa. How could you hurt me like this!"

I was dumbfound, I hurted her, when? “I did?? when??"

“When …sob … when you fell in love with some  other girl. .. sob sob…. Why why why didn’t you know I was here waiting for you.. sob” she cried with all her heart.

Wait … what did she say? She was here waiting for me? Waiting for me to fall in love with her? I must confirmed that “You mean you are waiting for me to fall in love with you?” I asked softly.

Her head suddenly turned away and she said “No.. I am just stressed out recently. Oppa forget what I just said.”

But I knew her, she is in denial now. I smiled. “Ok, I will forget what you just said.” I can see her breathe in deeply. “I wanted to confess my love for you over dinner and you will not be the first one to confess our love.”

She turned her head and look at me in surprise with her big round eyes.

I dropped to my knees, and said to her “Ji Hyo, I am not the most perfect man, and even a lesser perfect boyfriend, but I love you with all my heart. I never know what is love until you walked into my heart. Please be my first love”’

Ji Hyo hugged me with all her might and say yes softly in my ears.

I now know why my ex-girlfriends left me, I had never love them, I just carried out an obligation but with Ji Hyo it is different, she made me felt that I was the most special person on earth and I belong to her and she belong to me,

I love you, Ji Hyo.