"HEY! Heyheyheyheyhey heyyyy!" Bom whined outside the door as she turned in circles tricksily, prancing around in what she thought was a very eye-catching way. "Let me in just for a second please oh please? I just wanna... ooh hey CHAERIN!" she yelped, wiggling crazily as the door opened and a pretty specimen with long silver hair trotted outside. "Chaerin where did you go?! We thought we'd never see you again!"

"Huh?! Chaerin is here?!" Dara perked up immediately from where she was laying on her tummy and snuffing the air under the fence. "Chaeriiiiiiin!" she squealed as she practically tripped and somersaulted over herself trying to get to her friend. Bom was dancing with excitement.

And then they sniffed each other's butts, and all was right with the world.

"Where were you though?" Dara whimpered as she lay her head onto her paws, looking up at an unsually pretty version of Chaerin after they'd made certain that it was in fact her and not some other fur-dyed Yorkshire Terrier. Chaerin yawned and her lips. "Groomer's. I swear it takes like half a year to get done in that place. They gave me ham-flavored greenies this time; so nasty."

"At least they didn't give you this embarrassing lion cut," Bom muttered, tucking her pompom tail between her legs.

"You both stop complaining! I wanna go to the groomer's so baaaad! I have to stay here and entertain everybody..." Dara pouted.

"You're already adorable. Dachshunds don't need haircuts," Chaerin countered with a bork. "And besides, I go to the groomer's every week and then do I get to actually do the show for all that work? Not even once!" She groaned unhappily, her cheek fur floofing with a huff.

"We haven't gone to the dog shows in two people years," Bom sighed, sitting on her haunches. "All the borkjacks are getting really impatient. We have so many good tricks we can do, too! Imagine if we had another Doggiepop or Do You Feed Me, or even I Arf The Best..."

"We haven't even done any tail shaking since then as a pack!" Dara huffed. "We deserve better! Those boy dogs get to be in the house all the time and I KNOW that they get groomed AND go to the shows!"

"We should bork until master notices!" Chaerin suggested, feeling very alpha-like. The other two agreed and immediately ran to the door to start borking. They borked many times, very courageously, enough to make any doge proud. But as soon as the master threw out some meat scraps, they forgot why they were borking, and started eating until they were full and very happy and didn't think about the conversation they had before.

"Those were some great meat scraps! Amazing work, you guys!" Chaerin sniffed proudly. Dara and Bom looked very haughty and proud too as they sniffed the air and burped. But suddenly, Chaerin sneezed and stood up wagging nervously. "Wait! But... where is our maknae, the tail-waggingest toy poodle of all?"

"Minzyyyy!" Bom leapt up, cantering down the porch steps and over to the lawn, her perfect poodley legs shining long and bright. Chaerin and Dara followed, with Dara more rolling down the steps than running. They looked and sniffed around for a little while, but couldn't seem to find anypoodle there. That is, until Chaerin sniffed a dusty bush in the corner of the yard and the bush sneezed right back.

"Minzy Minzy Minzy!" Dara borked and yipped over to her hot-doggishly. "Where did you go? You missed all the meat scraps!"

"I'm not going to take the meat scraps anymore," Minzy replied, her nose. "Do you see how long it has been since master groomed me? I'm a bush. A literal bush, unnies!" she howled. "I can barely even remember the dog shows anymore. That's why... that's why..." She whimpered and pawed her face. "I've made a decision. I have to escape this hard life, to find a different master. Someone who will handle me with care. I'm digging under the fence tonight and I'm not coming back."

Bom did a sudden play bow and yapped harshly. "You're joking! What will we do without you?!"

"I gave up my Bearemy Scott collar for you," Dara whined.

"Minzy, we..." Chaerin tucked her tail between her legs, flumping onto her stomach. "We understand. Sometimes the meat scraps aren't enough to forget about all the dog shows we could be doing. All that posing... all the walking..." She lifted her head and howled mournfully. "I miss the limited edition bacon greenies!"

"Just remember all the times we stood side by side and did our best shows... all the chew toys we destroyed together. That was our time. And now my time is..." Minzy stared off dramatically in the distance, "...out there, looking for the next best greenies. The BBQ rib ones. And the master who will feed me them even when we aren't at the groomers."

All four of the canines let out a chorus of sad howls in the air, ending in yips and sneezes as they made their peace with it. "Well," Chaerin blinked, sniffing Minzy's affectionately, "Good luck out there. Don't eat the chocolate. You'll get fat... and then you'll die or something. Wag hard, Minzy."

"I will, unnies!" she borked. "Bye-bay!" And then she began digging to freedom.

The yorkie, dachshund, and poodle congregated again on the porch. "Maybe if master notices we are only three now, and we give him really big sparkly eyes this time... he could let us in the house! With G-Doggone and Akdog Musician!" Dara pattered on her tiny feet excitedly.

"One way or another," Chaerin growled, " we WILL get back into the shows and get those bacon greenies!"

"BACON GREENIES!!" they bayed all together. At least, Chaerin thought proudly, it was good to have a goal in common.

A few hours later, Minzy finally wiggled her bum out from under the fence and out where she could be free... free to do whatever she wanted to do. But before running away, she shook the dust out of her fur and turned to face the camera, tail wagging. "I know that Sarah Maclachlan is better at the sad animal thing than I am. But just remember, pets need love too! Adopt, don't shop, and... ooh, SQUIRREL!" And she ran off to chase her dreams... I mean, to chase her squirrels.

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A/N: Utterly silly. Bork is the funniest word in the world. Consider this my lighthearted best wishes for Minzy and 2ne1. Inspired by the new Tegan and Sara MV for 100x  (watch it, it's friggin hilarious)