-Flashback-

It was a cold day in September. Jae and a few other girls were walking to the dance studio as they have a dance class today. Yes, Jae may be known for her rapping and singing but she loved dance the most. She could dance for a whole day and not feel tired for the next day. She loved dancing so much that she took extra dancing lessons even though there are classes held in her trainee schedule.

She was walking down the street with her dongsaengs when they spotted a food stall near the studio. They walked straight out of school when it was over and they were starving. Jae couldn’t resist her dongsaengs pleas especially when they gave her the look with their puppy eyes and such. They went to the stall and ordered a few fish sticks and a couple of servings of dukbokki, which she paid, being the eldest in the group.

The other girls thanked her and started digging in the snack. Jae was helping herself with a cup of dukbokki, her favourite.

“Yah! How could you eat without me, Jae? I’m hungry too!”

Out of nowhere, Hoseok turned up and was whining at Jae’s side. He rested his chin on her shoulder and pouted his mouth. The others laughed seeing his face while Jae passed him the cup of dukbokki which he happily engulfed. She groaned in annoyance when Hoseok almost finished her snack and snatched back the cup. Then one of the girls spoke.

“Hoseok oppa, I’ve always wanted to ask you this. Why didn’t you call Jae unnie with noona? You guys are in different grade at school, right?”

Hoseok was too busy munching so Jae answered it for him. “That’s right. But I’m a late 93 liner and he’s a fast 94 liner, so that makes us friends. Besides, I never really care about all the formalities stuff.” She tilted the cup so that all the contents went into . The gravy was a lot so some was smeared at her lips. She lifted her hand to wipe the sauce but Hoseok suddenly grabbed her hand to stop her. She looked at him confused before he spoke. 

“And also…because of this.”

He leaned down and kissed her, the sauce clean off her lips. When he backed away, he smiled innocently at the other girls, while Jae had a prominent blush off her cheeks. The others gasped with surprise while some squealed at the moment they just witnessed. Jae jabbed him with her elbow and left hurriedly, not before bowing to the stall ahjumma and throwing the cup into the rubbish bin.

She was walking to the studio and Hoseok quickly caught up with her. He glanced to his side to see her face was red, probably still shy about what he did a few seconds ago. She saw him looking at her and pouted.

“You don’t have to do that. Not in front of them. It’s not like we’re together or anything.”

“We’re not???” Hoseok looked at her, one hand on his chest faking his surprised.

“Well, you never say anything.” She mumble her voice and looked away to hide her blushed face. She brought up her hands to blow some warmth into them and silently cursed herself for forgetting her gloves. He saw the gesture and took one of her hands and kissed it before intertwining their fingers and put them in his pocket.

“I like you, and you like me. What’s there left to be said?”

She looked up at him to see his face but he quickly turned his face away, wanting to hide his blush. Jae chuckled and just hummed in response and they continued walking to the studio.

The dance studio was at a basement below a music record store. The stairs to the studio were kind of steep and it had a creepy vibe but once they were in the studio, it looked like a normal studio, with two of the walls were mirrored. When they arrived, they were already a few others who were stretching so Hoseok and Jae started to warm up too.

“I wonder why you come all the way here just to take this class. You’re already good with you crew, Neuron. Although this class is only once a week but a trip to Seoul from Gwangju takes about, what, 4 hours?”

They were stretching together. Now they were facing each other with their legs straighten out, soles of their shoes touching. She reached out her hand so that he could pull her to stretch her back. When she finished, he didn’t let go of her hand.

“May be I came here for you.”

She rolled her eyes and they laughed. “You’re really cheesy, Hobi, you know that? Why did I like you anyway…” she said the last sentence slowly but he could hear her. “Because you couldn’t take your eyes on me when I’m dancing, right?”

“…right.” They chatted some more and laughed until their dance teacher came. He was explaining about the upcoming audition held by BigHit Entertainment. The company was going to hold a private audition and the teacher had squeezed in two spots for the dance school’s best dancers. They need to learn a new dance routine that the company had already set and the teacher was going to evaluate them. Jae and Hoseok looked at each other, exchanging knowing looks that they were going to work their off for the routine.

~*~

Weeks have passed and the dance teacher was going to pick the two persons representing the dance school tomorrow. While Jae easily aced the routine, Hoseok was having a small problem on the few steps of the dance. He was stressed about it. Although Hoseok was always cheerful, he could be stressing himself over small things even he himself didn’t know that he was overly anxious.

Jae knew him very well to know that he was worried about tomorrow. Hoseok keep practicing and practicing until he was beat. He didn’t even stop for breaks between his practice and Jae’s. It’s not like he couldn’t do the dance, the dance was only imperfect to his eyes. Anyone else looking at him would never knew that something was wrong with it.

It was after Jae reminded him a few times about how it was late and they should head home and rest that he was willing to stop dancing. His shoulders were slumped downwards and he walked slowly up the stairs out of the dance studio. Jae walked slowly beside him, not knowing what to say to him. When they reached where they have to part ways, Hoseok was expressionless and didn’t realize anything and kept walking. Jae grabbed his arm to stop him in his tracks. He looked at her, his face was obviously tired.

“Hey, tomorrow’s gonna be okay, okay? You’ll get that spot. Don’t worry about it too much.”

“It’s easy for you to say, you already mastered it.”

Her grip on his hand loosened. He didn’t say anything else but just waved her goodbye tiredly. She looked at his disappearing back view in the crowd. If she didn’t know him, she would be hurt by his words. But she knew, he was just nervous that he couldn’t focus on anything else.

When tomorrow came, Jae and Hoseok didn’t even speak to each other during the evaluation by their dance teacher. Hoseok was stressing himself over and over again for the routine and Jae knew that talking to him wouldn’t do them any good so she just let him be.

During his part, Hoseok did the routine perfectly. Well, almost. He stumbled on the final step that he was worried the most but the slip was not noticeable so he thought he was okay. Of course, Jae completed the dance flawlessly. What had Hoseok worried the most was a new kid that he didn’t even know exist in their class. His dance was so smooth and on point, and that had Hoseok a bit alarmed.

At the end of the day, their teacher announced the result.

“Okay, all of you have done a very great job today. But I only can pick two of you. It’s okay, they’re gonna be more auditions after this, so relax. By the looks of it, I think it’s obvious of who I’m gonna announce. It’s Jae and Jongin.”

The others clapped and cheered for them. Jongin was the new kid that Hoseok was worried about earlier. While others were congratulating the two, Hoseok was staring at the floor the whole time while Jae was looking at him even though he didn’t look back.

Hoseok was devastated, he was sad. All of a sudden he felt angry. Angry with himself. Why couldn’t he do better? He looked back at Jae, staring at each other. It was when the teacher spoke that Jae realized that they were the only ones that remained in the studio, the others went back already to their own homes.

“If you guys are done staring, you could go back home now.”

Hoseok stormed off the studio with Jae running to catch up. They were halfway up at the stairs when he stopped at his name being called by her.

“WHAT??? What else do you want Jae? You got the spot, congrats! You expect me to say that?!”

“Hobi, relax! Why are you lashing it out on me?”

“I don’t know why you’d even join the evaluation. You’re good, everyone already know that!”

Jae was holding it in but she couldn’t anymore.

“Then what do you expect me to do? Pretend that I didn’t know how to dance? Purposely failed my steps so that you could look good? You didn’t want that either, did you?!”

Hoseok’s chest was heaving up and down by his anger. Actually, he knew that it wasn’t anyone’s fault that he didn’t get picked, especially not Jae’s. But he had his ego. He wanted to put the blame on someone. And Jae was there, at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was so blinded by anger; he didn’t even know what he was talking next.

“That’s right. You’re too good. You’re too good, for me.”

He climbed up the stairs and reached the end of it, Jae sprinted up. He was about to walk away when she grabbed his arm tightly.

“What do you mean by that, Hobi?”

“You knew what I meant. You’re too good while I’m…I’m just me. We’re through, Jae.”

He wanted to walk but Jae kept clinging to his arm while asking for explanation so he yanked his arm harshly without even looking at her. He heard her shout his name but he didn’t look back. He couldn’t. He knew he was wrong, but he couldn’t let go of his pride. His pride as a guy.

~*~

It has been a week since he and Jae…broke up. In reality, even Hoseok himself didn’t know what he did, and what he wanted to do about it. He didn’t call or text her for the past week. After he went home that day, he took a cold shower to cool him off the anger. He went to sleep still angry but less than when he was at the studio.

He spent the whole week, thinking what he did. When he realized that he let out his rage at Jae, he felt stupid. He tried to rationalise his actions but none of any good excuses that he could came up at the moment. When it was the time of his dance class, he was seriously contemplating whether to go or not; he wanted to apologize to Jae but he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that. But he needed to do what he should have done a week ago, so he grabbed his bag and went to the studio.

He arrived a little late and he stretched before joining the others for practice. Surprisingly, he didn’t see Jae anywhere. Is she mad, so she doesn’t want to see me? He thought about that but Jae was not that kind of person to skip her most loved dance class. When it was time for break, the teacher called him and he walked to him.

“Hoseok, you’ll be auditioning for Bighit next week, together with Jongin. So make sure you practice on last week’s routine.”

That surprised him. He frowned before asking further. “But what about Jae?” He looked at him with a gaze that Hoseok swore he saw a look of guilt but the look in his eyes quickly faded. He sighed heavily before answering him.

“She said that it was no point that if she auditioned. As you already know, she is already a trainee, so technically it was no use of her auditioning, right? So she wanted someone else to take her spot.”

“Did she…ask me to do it?”

“Well, she did actually.” Hoseok wanted to let out a sigh but the teacher cut him. “But she didn’t need to. I was going to pick you anyway. So, are you going to do it?”

He nodded after a while. The teacher squeezed his shoulder before walking away and resuming the practice. After the class, he called Jae but her phone was turned off. He tried to call her for the whole week but it seemed like she changed her number. He didn’t have any other method to contact her. He was pissed that he couldn’t anything to see her, to talk to her.

The audition came and Hoseok was easily accepted into the company. He didn’t care much at that time because all he wanted was to see Jae. He has so much to say but she disappeared into thin air. It was at Christmas Eve that he finally moved in to become a trainee. At that moment, he swore that he wouldn’t waste the opportunity that Jae made for him, and he will succeed, in the hope of thanking her whenever he will see her in the future. 

I am so sorry for not updating.. T^T And I am sorry too to say that i might have to pause this story for a while, I am kind of busy with my classes projects >o<

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