You settled into the couch, bubble tea in hand, as Namjoon prepared the ramen; you the DVD player and an old episode of Modern Family in attempt to fill the awkward silence. You sighed, and silently thanked Yoongi again for setting it up right after you’d moved in. Even though your apartment came equipped with cable, it was too much of a struggle to try and follow Korean variety shows and dramas without subtitles. The actors and hosts spoke too fast for you to fully understand what was happening, and after spending all day speaking Korean and listening to broken English, it was nice to come home and hear it spoken fluently. 

You were so lost in the show; you didn’t feel the couch dip under Namjoon’s weight. It wasn’t until he placed a hand on your thigh that you realized how close he was. He handed you chopsticks and gathered ramen onto the lid of the pot before also handing it to you. You smiled a little to yourself.

Of all the house chores, you hated doing dishes the most, and you thought it was stupid to dirty more dishes by transferring food out of the pots into bowls. Therefore, most of the time you ate directly out of the container or from the lid. It was something you’d seen in a Korean drama years ago and emulated. With the meal, the tension between you melted, and you leaned into him as you ate in silence. Both of you watched the television with unwavering attention. 

When you were finished, Namjoon gathered your dirty dishes and took them back into the kitchen. You pouted slightly at being displaced, and it made Namjoon chuckle. You watched him scrub for a minute before lifting yourself up from your spot on the couch. You silently moved toward him taking deliberate steps in the hope of not drawing his attention. As you slid your arms around his waist, you felt him flinch lightly before relaxing into your touch. His hands immediately moved to yours, and he began drawing small circles over your fingers.  You nuzzled your nose in between his shoulder blades and took a deep breath. You loved the way he smelled even after a long day spent at the studio. His smell made you feel at home, and this thought only made you feel more guilty for what you had to tell him.

You stood like this for a while. You hugging him, and him slowly your hands. “There’s something I have to tell you,” you mumbled into his back.

He chuckled lightly, “What did you say?”

“I said. There is something I have to tell you,” you spoke again as you slowly lifted your head from his back. He waited quietly listening for what you had to say. You took a deep breath, “I’m going to America.” Your words were so soft it could’ve been mistaken for a breath, but to Namjoon it was a scream that echoed in his ears.

He didn’t know how to respond, so you stood si