“Can you stop calling me by my name?”

“It’s making me want you.”

“Why can’t I do it properly? I can feel your frame trembling against mine. You want this, too.”

I had these words repeating themselves over and over inside of my head as I lied on the floor for at least 10 minutes. What did actually just occur between us? Chanyeol answered some questions of mine. I understand now his hatred towards his old best friend, but I can’t stop talking to Suho because of their past, although what happened in this room made me think different of Chanyeol. Oh and the engagement that was supposed to happen between my mother and Chan’s father… I need to discuss this matter with my parents as soon as possible. There is so much I don’t know about, for example, is this the reason why my mother’s family hates father’s so much? Only because my mother should have married a certain boy from another clan? Is this all because of money? My mother and father had to leave their country so they could be together? Dozens of questions made my mind go mad, and when I thought that things were stirred up enough, Chanyeol decided to “try something”. I have never been this confused before. I slowly touched the corner of my lips that Chanyeol insecurely kissed.  

“JIYEON!”

A strident call made me jump out of my deep thinking. I looked up to see Chaerin standing near me with a worried expression on her face.

“What happened? I’m sorry I left you behind and that I didn’t take a seat at the same table with you. Anyway, you’re engaged to Chan? I don’t know why I am so astonished because this kind of things always happens in the high society… Are you alright?” she spoke nervously.

“How did you find me?” I asked her, unable to find the words to answer her question.

“I saw Chanyeol back in the ballroom and you weren’t with him… Jiyeon… you really don’t look well, are you sure you’re alright?” she said as she offered to help me stand up.

“I don’t know. Chaerin, help me go back to the US.” I begged as I finally looked into her eyes desperately. “I always thought that wealthy people have it so easy. I used to have a normal and average life. I’ve been just another human being who wondered how it would be to become rich. My parents always avoided my questions about their life in Seoul, and I hardly remember anything about the life I had when I lived here as a child. Chanyeol is indifferent about this. He grew up knowing that his parents will choose the one he will marry, meanwhile I—“A hiccup interrupted my rant as I felt my eyes watering.

“I am so sorry… I can say that I am lucky. My family has a good relationship with my boyfriend’s, so they won’t forbid us. But give Chan a chance he was concerned about you when he called me to help you get ready. You’re both a little damaged and—“

“A little damaged? I was doing perfectly fine before I moved here, now I am having breakdowns every day. My life was simple and I was happy, now everyone is dictating my future. I’m the type of person who craves freedom, Chaerin. I’m the type of person who can’t be bossed around. And don’t tell me I will get used to this, shall I blame my parents for this? Did they know what was going to happen to me if I were around grandfather again? I’m such a victim here! I am paying for my parents’ mistakes! A lot of children are paying for their parents’ mistakes, but this… I don’t care about my grandparents’ businesses. Is this the only way they can arrange an alliance with Chan’s clan? Do they really have to get us married? Can’t they just do their thing and leave us alone?” I hardly spoke as I started to sob harder and fell back on the floor.

“Please, calm down…” she whispered as she fell next to me, tapping my shoulder. “You just need some time to figure things out, and I will be here to help you. Let us help you. Come to me whenever you feel down, I know you’re slowly losing it…” She spoke kindly as she took me in her arms, giving me a comforting long hug. I couldn’t stop my tears from falling.

“Let’s finish with these subjects for tonight and fix your make-up. You had a tough day, you could really use some Soju right now. We can go to a club if you don’t want to stay here, but I’m not letting you go home with this mood.” Chaerin tried to cheer me up, but Chan’s words hit me again. He said we can’t leave the hotel, that we have to spend the night together.

I followed Chaerin to the elevators, not knowing how I should react if I bump into Chan in the ballroom. As we entered the dining hall, the club lights were glowing, dancing with the rest of the guests who were enjoying the after party. Chaerin looked back at me, grabbed my hand and dragged me into the crowd of people. Nobody seemed to mind that school was waiting for them in the morning.

“HEY! Great after party and congratulation on your engagement!” someone yelled at me randomly. Ugh. 

“What is this? The sound of Lee Jiyeon’s popularity that’s boosting!” Baekhyun laughed loudly as he raised up a bottle of beer when we reached the bar.

“I haven’t seen this bar here earlier.” I yelled into Chaerin’s ear. She smiled and ordered two bottles of Soju.

“JIYEON!” Baekyun called as he put his arm around my shoulder.

“What?” I yelled back.

“What happened to Chanyeol? I saw you both leaving after the announcement. When he came back he was in a miserable state of mind. And your eyes look swollen even though your make-up is on point.” He asked curiously.

“Where is he?—“  I tried to continue, but Chaerin stopped me as she shoved the bottle of alcohol to my face.

“Bottom’s up?” she asked grinning as she gave me the shot that she was holding in her other hand. I drank the liquid and turned my attention back to Baekhyun.

“What were you saying?”

“He… left with a girl. I mean he is somewhere in the hotel.” What? Hearing Baekhyun answer I remained mute and inhibited. Have I heard it wrong?  

“Jiyeon? Are you alright?” Baekhyun said as he snapped his fingers to my face.

“Sure, he explained it to me. This engagement is just for businesses. We can play around with whoever we want.” I fake smiled as I felt a knot in my stomach.

 “Hey why are you so pale? What did you say to her?” Chaerin turned to us after she finished talking to a group of people present near us at the bar.

“I’m not pale, just tired, and nothing happened. Chanyeol is spending time with some other girl in a hotel room. This engagement is just business, we are allowed to date whoever we wish. Pass me that Soju bottle and let’s have fun!” I lied as I tried to look like I wasn’t affected.

After Jiyong joined us, we all continued to drink, laugh, talk and then dance. We were all getting tipsy and everyone around us was having the time of their lives. My worries were slowly fading away as I was drinking my third bottle of Soju. Chaerin and Jiyong were doing a hot funny dance, meanwhile Baekhyun was flirting around. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my hip and a pair of lips brushing my neck on their way to my ear. I was too dizzy and vulnerable to stop the man so I followed his unhurried grinding moves. 

A few moments later, I took another long sip of my drink and forced myself to turn around to see the mysterious person.

“Aish, if I weren’t this drunk you would be dead by now.” I told him as I placed my hand on his shoulder to stabilize myself.

“Don’t worry gorgeous, I am not planning to take advantage of you. I’m Kai, by the way. And I heard you’re Lee Jiyeon.” He smirked.

“, I bet you also heard that I’m engaged.” I responded, weirdly taking his hand in mine to shake it.

“Right. Where’s Chan? Leaving you here like this, so exposed and defenseless. And where’s your ring if everything is so official now?” He spoke into my ear as his fingers intertwined with mine.

“He’s doing what I’m doing, enjoying himself.” I said as I tried my best to stay still because Kai was spinning. Alright this was the last bottle.

“But I didn’t see him around? Shall we really do what he’s doing?” He spoke as he grabbed my waist to pull me closer.

“Aish, stoooop you said you won’t take advantage!” 

“I can’t help it, you’re so cute!” He exclaimed back. As I blushed at his statement, I watched his fleshy lips and let myself overwhelmed by desire. As I began to trace his lower lip with my fingertip, I spotted Chanyeol over Kai’s shoulder. Two seconds later, we made eye contact. If I noticed clearly, his jaw dropped and he was now staring.

“Kiss me,” I said as I turned my gaze to Kai.

Kai reached for my bottle of Soju, took a sip of the drink and bent slowly to my face, grinning. As I closed my eyes and waited for his lips to land onto mine, I felt a fast wind in front of me. I frowned due to the screams around me. When I opened my eyes Chanyeol was on top of Kai, throwing heavy punches at his face.

“Stop, stop! Chanyeol stop!” Jiyong yelled as he tried to stop Chanyeol from aggressiveness. Baekhyun and a few more guys, one of them seemed to be Sehun, fought to get Chanyeol off of Kai. Even the music has stopped.

“What the hell guys?” Chaerin yelled harshly.

“What’s gotten into you, dude?” Baekhyun asked Chan as he hit his chest slightly.

“Is this how you take care of her? Both of you!” Chan pointed at Baekhyun and Chaerin.

“What’s your problem?” Kai asked angrily as he spat blood on the floor. “Are you going to be that kind of husband? That will have a mistress, but his wife can’t have some fun? Back off, we weren’t the ones using a hotel room to gratify our needs.”

“One more word and I swear I will kill you, Kai!” Chanyeol yelled back as he wanted to jump in a fight again, but Jiyong and Sehun caught him.

“Hey are you alright?” Chaerin questioned me as she came to my side. And no, I felt like throwing up right there.

A part of me deep inside wanted Chanyeol to blow up of jealousy, but I didn’t think he would take action like this. Kai’s face was full of bruises and his lips were covered in blood. I just wished to disappear. No, that part of me that wanted to see Chanyeol jealous wished to take him back to the suite and calm him down. That part of me craved to be the girl that Chan chose for tonight, the lover that he needed tonight. The lights were on and I could observe the look in Chanyeol’s eyes was dangerous. I don’t know which one of us reacted worse, me that I wanted to kiss a stranger in front of the boy I’m claiming to hate, or him that he attacked the guy that I used for my revenge. No, he left me alone in that room and went to another girl. He messed with my head, and all of these thoughts shouldn’t happen. Why did I drink? Oh, why…?