As soon as Kyungsoo wakes up that Saturday morning, he stays in bed clutching his pillow, a habit that comes out when he’s particularly agitated. He stares blankly at the ceiling and he thinks about the fact that Jongin will be here in a few hours. The thought has his insides swimming with all sorts of emotions --  nervous, excited, maybe a little bit  more afraid than he would care to admit. But what stands out the most is how much he misses him. Working non-stop offered a convenient distraction, but right now, wrapped up in perfect silence, he can only lie there as Jongin takes over his thoughts. His plan obviously backfired because instead of erasing this attraction, it’s coming back to him in waves, almost drowning him in it.

It has been three weeks since they’ve seen each other, the memory of their last meeting still leaves his chest prickling. But the desire to see him again is too overwhelming  that it smothers all the fear and anxiety and self-doubt bubbling inside him. ‘Just give it a chance’, he repeats firmly to himself.

___________________

Standing in front of his bedroom mirror, already showered and dressed, Kyungsoo tries to rehearse what to say for when he would come to greet Jongin at the door. Working at the firm for years had taught him that preparation is key in making successful marketing pitches to his superiors. He’d handled massive projects and had given long-winded speeches to directors, CEOs and COOs of both local and international companies, and he'd been nervous then but he’s never felt as terrified as he does now, because in about fifteen minutes Jongin will be ringing his front bell and he hasn’t figured out what to say.

“Hey, how’s it hangin?” Sounds too casual, and he shakes his head at his reflection.

“Good morning. How have you been?” Nope, too stiff.

“How you doin’?” Hell no, greasy as .

“I happen to worship the ground you walk on. Please find it in your heart to go on a date with me.” He laughs out loud because surely he doesn’t have enough balls to say that.

He clears his throat and stands straighter, then says, “Hi Jongin. Good morning to you too. By the way, thank you for the manga and the cupcakes. I enjoyed them very much. I’ll return the comic books once I’ve finished reading them.” Kyungsoo stares at the wall, turning the words over and over in his head before deciding that it could work.

He catches his reflection in the mirror and he cracks up unexpectedly because god, he is such a dweeb trying to work out how to say a simple greeting. The doorbell suddenly rings and he jumps three feet in the air. He feels faint for how fast his heart is beating, a bit from the shock but mostly from extreme anxiousness because Jongin's here. Taking deep, even breaths, he walks toward the door and stands there for a few seconds to pat down his hair, smooth over his shirt and check that his fly is closed. He tries to run through the words he’d practiced, exhales deeply one last time and thinks to himself, it’s now or never.

Jongin is fiddling with his phone when the door opens and the smile he gives Kyungsoo is so bright and pretty and perfect that the words fizzle down in his throat and his brain turns to mush. He can only stand there as Jongin walks through the door and watches mutely as he toes his shoes off before striding into the apartment. He was supposed to say something about cupcakes and something something reading but his brain is still goo and Jongin is turning around to look at him, the brightness of his smile unfading and Kyungsoo’s brain is at least stable enough to command his lips to smile back. 

Jongin speaks first (and Kyungsoo thanks all the angels in heaven), "It seems too long since I've last seen you. Busy with work I guess?"

Kyungsoo nods at him, at the same trying to jar his brain to life. He manages to evenly say, "Yeah, busy. But it's only been what.. three weeks?"

"It felt longer." Jongin fiddles with his bag strap. "And did you find time to read the manga I left?" He turns away to fling his bag on the armchair. The break in eye contact steadies Kyungsoo a bit more and he realizes that he's still standing there holding the door open like the complete idiot that he is. 

He closes the door in a hurry and steps near the couch, answering, "I'm only halfway through the first one" as Jongin looks back at him. "But I'm liking it so far."

"That's cool," he replies, half-smiling, and Kyungsoo notes the total lack of unease he'd been dreading to happen. Jongin is his usual self, maybe a bit more animated today. "And how'd you find the cupcakes?"

"I loved them!" he answers excitedly because he could still recall how tasty they were. "Where did you get those by the way?"

Jongin looks sort of embarrassed. "I made them myself."

"Oh." So he does bake. "You are really amazing. Hands down best cupcake I've ever had." The sudden tinge of pink tainting Jongin's cheeks has him fighting the urge to pinch them senseless.

"No way, you're just saying that," he rebuts halfheartedly and Kyungsoo sees an open window present itself, so he takes a chance.

"Nope it's true. I'm actually kinda jealous because I at baking. Maybe you could teach me the recipe sometime?" The steadiness of his voice is an absolute contrast with how erratic his heart is, because this gesture might be small but Kyungsoo is finally putting himself out there after years of shutting himself in. This is it, all of their possibilities are hanging precariously on this one answer.