Jongdae absently scratches at a spot on his neck as he pushes off from his mildly cluttered table to head to the breakroom for lunch. He can see Kyungsoo’s still sitting in his cubicle with Baekhyun hunched over him seemingly in the middle of excitedly telling a story, hands wielding in every which way. He goes in first, his gurgling stomach not willing to wait any longer.

When he opens the door, he finds the tables fully occupied, except for one where a single person is sitting, his back toward the door. He looks awfully familiar and he steps nearer to confirm that it's Sehun sitting, one hand nursing a cup of instant noodles while taking reticent sips from his mug with the other.

“Sehun! My man! Can I sit?”

Sehun nods silently and Jongdae flops down on the chair right next to his.

“Boy, am I hungry!” he bursts out, gently shaking the contents of his paper bag onto the table. A tiny carton of orange juice and three Saran Wrapped sandwiches tumble out, and he grabs the one that has lettuce peeking from the side.

As he unwraps it, he throws Sehun a glance then hands one of the two sandwiches left on the table. Sehun’s glass face breaks into the smallest of smiles and takes it with a tiny ‘thanks’. Jongdae only grunts in response, busy with wolfing down his food. Not even a few minutes had gone by and he’s moving on to the second, already done with the first.

Just then, he hears the door open and Baekhyun’s sharp laugh, and he turns around to see him arm looped through Kyungsoo’s. He waves at them rather awkwardly, considering his teeth’s already sunk into the sandwich. The duo wind their way toward their table and Baekhyun greets them both before sitting down. Kyungsoo’s all smiley but doesn’t say anything as he takes the seat next to Baekhyun.

“You look happy,” Jongdae comments through a mouthful of bread and baloney.

Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows in question and Jongdae says, “Yeah. You.”

Kyungsoo opens his mouth to reply but Baekhyun beats him to it.

“Well you would, if you were dating Kim Jongin.”

“Huh?” Sehun says.

“Kyungsoo’s smokin' hot cleaning lady,” Baekhyun supplies.

“Huh?” Sehun repeats, only this time his face changes into that of utter confusion.

Kyungsoo socks Baekhyun right between the shoulder blade, making the latter yelp. They start a minor scuffle, Baekhyun pulling on the other’s hair while Kyungsoo lands an elbow to his side. Jongdae and Sehun aren’t alarmed though, them laughing while beating each other up is a dead giveaway that they’re only fooling around.

Jongdae turns to Sehun, who’s still looking entirely bewildered and says, “Kyungsoo is dating Kim Jongin, a guy he hired to clean his apartment. And as Baekhyun pointed out, he’s smoking hot. Objectively speaking, I agree” then turns his full attention on the sandwich in his hand.

Kyungsoo gives Baekhyun a solid shove, hissing, “You are such a child!” and the latter backs off with a final laugh. He keeps on smiling as he watches Kyungsoo open up a tiny lunch bag and accepts the small plastic Tupperware he’s handed.  Their relationship confuses the hell out of Sehun but he holds back from saying it.

Someone’s resounding groan makes them all whirl around in their seats and the sight of Yixing hauling a limping Joonmyeon in their direction has them all snickering. He places  Joonmyeon carefully on the seat beside Kyungsoo before plopping down next to him, puffing out an exhausted breath.

“The hell happened to you?” Kyungsoo asks. He tries so hard to keep it together but Joonmyeon’s wincing face is too funny that he lets out another laugh.

Yixing rubs Joonmyeon’s shoulder and makes the reply for him. “Baekhyun’s gift happened. It is not for the faint-hearted.”

“Or the weak-kneed,” Joonmyeon adds, his pained expression dwindling a bit.

“What exactly happened?” Jongdae questions, now fully interested in the conversation.

Yixing passes Joonmyeon a worried glance before facing Jongdae. “Just that Baekhyun’s… birthday gift was more of a challenge than we anticipated.”

“What gift?”

“Over-the-door sling,” Baekhyun laughingly replies and everyone, except Joonmyeon and Yixing, break out into a mix of snorts and giggles.

Jongdae is  honestly trying to hold back from laughing too hard for fear of hurting his friends’ feelings but this is just superbly hilarious. “Oh Joonmyeon, you are old as !” he says while holding his sides.

Joonmyeon frowns at that. “Inaccurate placement. That is the story I’m sticking with. you all.” Yixing almost laughs but pulls it off as a yawn and Joonmyeon glares at him.

“Lunch?” Yixing says sweetly, giving the other his most innocent smile. He proceeds to open a plastic bag he’d been carrying and takes out a huge plastic container filled with pasta in tomato sauce.  He reaches inside the bag again to get their chopsticks before opening the plastic container.

A few more laughs escape as they all resume eating and Yixing, in a desperate effort to transfer the very annoying spotlight, peeks at Kyungsoo and says, “So, how was the first date?”

The question startles Kyungsoo from eating his cold macaroni and he looks at Yixing for a few beats before answering, “It was good”. He immediately goes back to eating and the mild color creeping to his cheeks tells Yixing and everyone else that it was more than just ‘good’.

There’s a naughty glint in Baekhyun’s eyes as he stops eating and face Kyungsoo. “Did he sweep the chimney?”

Kyungsoo’s spoon hangs midway to his mouth as he grants Baekhyun a sideway glance. “What?”

“Did he fill the gas tank?”

Kyungsoo lowers his spoon and blinks at him. “Uh, we took his scooter but I guess it still had gas. So, no?”

Baekhyun merely smirks. “Did you have hot pudding for supper?”

“Uh no? We ate spicy pork,” Kyungsoo answers, though he’s getting highly suspicious of Baekhyun’s constant questions.

“Did he park the beef bus in tuna town?” Baekhyun asks again, totally ignoring his answer.

Kyungsoo regards him with the weirdest look and says, voice getting loud, “What the hell are you talking about?”

The way Baekhyun is grinning at him has him squirming uncomfortably. “Did he whitewash the picket fence?”

He’s so confused by how bizarre Baekhyun’s acting and he glances around the table for help but he sees them all sharing the exact grin Baekhyun is wearing. Crap.

“Did you load the clown in the cannon?” Yixing asks.

“Did you take a trip down the mine shaft?” Joonmyeon follows.

“Did you see a man about a dog?” Jongdae throws in, and Sehun snorts gracelessly at this one.

A wave of complete horror hits Kyungsoo as it suddenly dawns on him what they’re actually doing. “WHAT THE YOU GUYS”, he cries out, throwing them all dirty looks. They all erupt into boisterous laughter and Kyungsoo wallops Baekhyun in the head for starting all  this ery.

Baekhyun cracks up while he rubs the spot where he’s hit and says, “So I take that as a 'no'?” And they all fall into each other, holding their sides as they laugh and Kyungsoo is the only one frowning.

“I’m not easy,” Kyungsoo starts to grumble but everyone else is too busy laughing their asses off to listen.

----------------------

It’s a good ten minutes when they all catch their breaths (and Kyungsoo stops staring daggers at them) and they continue with lunch. Yixing takes a hearty bite of his pasta, chews thoughtfully and says, “Speaking of first dates, I remember my worst one." This gets everyone's attention and all eyes turn to Yixing.

"It was in college, a friend of mine set me up on a blind date. The guy was cute and all, but for the life of me I didn’t know why he kept farting. He’d lean over and let one loose every few minutes. The fact that we were sitting in a pub surrounded by hordes of people didn’t matter much to him. It was bizarre. Later I thought maybe it was a nervous tick or something. Safe to say there was no second date.”

“Dude that’s just gross,” Kyungsoo remarks, while everyone else just snickers.

“I remember my worst date.” Baekhyun begins. “It was in highschool,” he continues and Kyungsoo makes a sound. Baekhyun turns to him and laughs lightly. “You remember?” he asks and Kyungsoo nods. “Well anyway, he got my number from someone, I can’t exactly remember who and he asked me out. I agreed because it seemed harmless enough. We went to get fast food, I think, and after, we walked around some park. It was sort of mundane, we talked about the usual stuff, likes, dislikes, favorites. By the time we sat down on a bench he told me that I was his 'second boyfriend' and how happy he was because the first one dumped him a few months ago. And I just sat there thinking ‘what the , this is a first date!’, but I kept quiet while he ranted on  and on about his ex being an , all the while wishing the date to end already. Finally, I hinted that it was getting late and he might miss his bus and so, we go to his stop.  And right before he gets on the bus, he gives me the sloppiest, most awkward kiss and he smiles at me and tells me it’s his first kiss ever and keeps repeating how happy he is!” Baekhyun shakes his head at the memory and he sees Yixing slumped over Joonmyeon, stifling a laugh against his shoulder. “When I got home, I texted him that I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship, and he calls me, completely sobbing and I can’t make out what he’s saying so I ended the call. The last text he sent me was a few days after that, saying “I’m crying while thinking of you”.

Joonmyeon is grinning wide as he says, “Damn. You dodged a bullet with that one, Baek.” Baekhyun agrees too eagerly.

“I have one.” Jongdae pipes up. “A few years back, I met this girl online. She was cute and we had a lot in common. We talked for a week before deciding to meet up at a little hole-in-the-wall cafe near where she lived. I arrived first so I sat down and waited. I saw my date go in and she was scanning the room. I smiled so she would recognize it was me and we make eye contact. But then she just blinks and pretends to not see me, just goes on scanning the room, definitely avoiding looking at me. Then she goes to the bathroom, and I wait for her to come out. After half an hour and two empty cups of coffee, I check the bathroom. I find out there’s a back exit and she’d probably escaped through there. Made me feel like waiting for her when she’d already skipped out. I went home and checked her profile and I couldn’t find it. Probably deleted it or had me blocked.”

“Man that is  rough,” Yixing comments, looking distraught.

Baekhyun drapes an arm over Jongdae’s shoulders and says, very honestly, “I’ll go on a date with you.”

Jongdae twists his lips before saying, “Except I’m straight.”

“I don’t mind,” Baekhyun replies teasingly and Jongdae laughs it off.

“I’m fine really. That was years ago and I don’t need a pity date from you.”

Baekhyun’s expression is wistful  as he pats his hair before letting him go.

Joonmyeon chances a glance at Sehun, who’d laughed along with them but hadn’t really said anything the entire time. “Hey Sehun, glad to see you're taking lunch outside of the company toilet. You and Mr. Lee ironed things out?”

Sehun takes a short sip from his mug before placing it down on the table. “I had to get out sometime, my food started to taste like urinal cakes. And yeah, Mr. Lee and I straightened out our… misunderstanding.”

Baekhyun smirks and asks, “How exactly did you straighten it out?”

Sehun’s whole casual aura evaporates as he lets out an exasperated sigh. “I walked into his office and groveled at his feet, asking for mercy. He would have been content to just leave me there, kneeling miserably by his desk, but it turned out the person he was on the phone with was his husband. Apparently Donghae heard everything and Mr. Lee got an earful and was told to ‘stop being a ’ to me.”

He pauses when he sees them all looking at him with pure skepticism. “Mr. Lee said it out loud, okay, Donghae made him say it. So he accepted my very heartfelt apology and now I can eat my lunch out in the open.”

“Good to know. Glad it worked out for you,” Jongdae says with a few approving nods. "So, you have any dating horror stories to add? I'm sure you've gone out a lot, with a face like yours."

Sehun looks pensive, tapping a fingernail on his mug. "I really don't have bad first date stories. I just went out on a lot of boring ones. But I can tell you the best I've been on?" he suggests and when he sees them all nodding eagerly at him to go on, he takes one huge breath before telling it. "This guy was someone I met through mutual friends and I thought he was cute, so I asked  him out. We went on a few casual dates, for coffee, or a movie, but one time that stood out for me was when we bumped into each other at a bagel shop." A soft smile spreads across Sehun's lips and it's so rare to see it on him that it gives the others the impression that it's a memory Sehun treasures. "We spent the entire day just walking around aimlessly, eating and talking. I don't remember what we talked about but I still remember how easy it felt just being with him." His eyes drop to his fingers tapping evenly on his mug, soft smile still fixed on his face.

His silence stretches for minutes, provoking Yixing to burst out, "Then? What happened?", leaning a bit toward Sehun in his excitement to hear the rest of the story. Sehun passes him a flitting glance before going back to staring at the mug and his smile begins to fade.

"We dated for two years. Broke up seven months ago. He moved back home to take care of his parents." His tone is oddly flat and Kyungsoo notices Sehun's eyes are frozen on the mug in his hand. He looks it over carefully and sees it's decorated with what looks like light brown lines branching out of a tiny circle. It takes a few more seconds of squinting that he realizes it's a picture of a deer with great brown antlers. 

"." Yixing mutters. "I expected a different ending." He reaches out and claps him in the back. "I'm really sorry man."

Sehun shakes his head. "It's fine. I'm fine. It was the best two years of my life. I've got nothing to feel sorry about." His voice sounds cheerful enough as he says this, though his eyes get somewhat hollow. He sees Jongdae pout sadly, so he says, "I'm sorry you guys. I kinda downed the mood huh?"

"Not really baby 'hun," Baekhyun answers. "I, for one, am glad you told us. You hardly ever share personal stuff, so this was a very welcome change."

"Baek's right. Don't apologize," Jongdae says, ruffling Sehun's hair affectionately. It makes the other flinch but he doesn't pull away.

"Yeah, Sehun. And maybe we could help, you know. Set you up on  a few dates maybe," Joonmyeon says. "Preferably with guys who aren't married," he adds with a teasing smile.

"I didn't know okay!! He didn't have his damn ring on!!" Sehun cries, seemingly irritated, though he laughs right after. "You'll never let me live this down, will you?"

"NEVER!!" the others shout happily in unison and Sehun shoulders drop as he sags down his chair, the look of perfect misery etched on his face.

---------------------------

Kyungsoo has finished tidying up his cluttered desk and is about to leave when Jongdae calls out at him from his cubicle.

"Hey 'soo! Don't forget tomorrow okay." The blank look Kyungsoo gives him has him sighing out loud. "My cousin's birthday? Sunyoung? Remember? C'mon, I told you this a month before."

Kyungsoo raises a palm up to slap his forehead. "Ah! Yeah, sorry 'dae, it totally slipped my mind. Around two, right?" Jongdae answers with a short nod. "I didn't get her a gift though?"

"That's fine. She prefers cash anyway. Just be there okay? Minseok and Baekhyun will be there too."