“To be honest, I hated you when you left.”

“Figured…… I’m sorry.”

“You better. You know how much pain that caused us, how much it hurt me?”

I could hear her voice cracking. I didn’t dare look at her. I knew she was crying, but I just didn’t dare look at her.

“When Jun left us, I was devastated, of course I’d be. He was our brother. But at least I had you. Well that’s what I thought. You were the only family I had, my only brother I had left. We swore to each other we would never abandon each other. I thought we had each other to support after Jun’s death. I thought wrong.”

I could feel the same guilt grip my heart again. My eyes were burning hot, trying to keep my tears in.

“When we found that letter in your room, all I could think of was ‘That bastard’. You just left us. Did you not think about how we would feel? Sure, every time I looked at you, I’m reminded of him. Why wouldn’t I! Is that a bad thing? To remember the person we grew up with? Didn’t you remember what you used to tell me, ‘people only die when they are forgotten from this world.’”

I crushed the beer can in my hand, beer spilling allover my hand.

“I’m sorry……. I’m sorry……”

That was all I could say. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I couldn’t find anything else to say other than ‘I’m sorry’. I dropped to my knees, the weight of the guilt and pain wearing me down. I could feel someone embracing me, her warmth enveloping me, warmth I was undeserved for.

“I’m sorry…… I’ll never leave you again!”