My eyes followed everything that moved. I watched the staff running frantically around to help prepare some idols who’re waiting for their turn to perform on stage. We were up next. But what really caught my attention was his smile. His captivating smile which caught my whole attention and made me forget about the surrounding busybodies.
          Of all the people he could stare at, it was I. Infinite danced to their song “Nothing’s Over”, and he was capturing almost all the girls’ attention, Kim Myungsoo was. I was also mesmerized for some unknown reason. Maybe it was because of his handsome features? Maybe it was because he sings and dances well? No. It wasn’t any of those reasons it was because of one simple smile that was just for me. Just for none other, but I, I was sure of it.
He turned his head to our direction and his beautiful eyes found mine. He gave me the smile that he hasn’t given anyone yet, a sincere smile. At that time, it felt like time had stopped working and I was in my own world.

I think I was falling in love with him.
 ---
We were getting closer.
Just for once I wanted to shine just for him. I wanted him to notice me and I was desperate to do so. Every idol attended Idol Star Athletics and of course, Apink and Infinite were there too. Chorong asked me to dance with her during the event and we did. Once I heard the music starting, I danced with all my might and didn’t mind those who were looking at us. I was beaming from ear to ear.
We ended the song and walked away with embarrassment and it seemed like my plan worked because Myungsoo was clapping at our performance and such a little thing made me so happy.
Time passed by and our group and his group were living in the same building. We often see each other and we talked about a lot of things. We became friends, just good friends.
He and I confined to each other whenever we were troubled. We gave each other pieces of advice and sometimes we help each other with our lines for our songs. It was fun spending time with him. We became close and my feelings were growing every second that I spent with him. Just being able to talk and see each other was fine.
It was enough.
---
It wasn’t enough.
He was standing in front of me. We were so close yet it felt like we were so distant. I breathed heavily with my eyebrows furrowed. I was furious, very furious. I can't control them anymore and just have to say it.
“I love you!” I yelled at him. His eyes widen when those words came out. We were under the rain, our clothes soaking wet, but I didn’t care about that. Myungsoo just broke up with his girlfriend because of the chaos their relationship was causing. Fans wouldn’t accept that he was dating someone. I also couldn’t accept the fact that someone else caught his attention and not me. It was infuriating.
He was so depressed about his breakup with his girlfriend that he couldn’t stand it and ran out of their place. I was there when he ran out of their house and noticed that his eyes were red and his face seemed like it was hurt. I clenched my fists and couldn’t stand it so I ran to him. My gut told me to.
“I love you… okay?” I muttered softly trying to refrain myself from crying. He was standing there, looking at me, confused. Can't you understand? Can you accept me and forget about her? My heart was bleeding so much.
“Bomi,” he touched my cheek and lifted my face. He was giving me a smile, a sad one. “You don’t have to say that to cheer me up.”
I wasn’t. It was my true feelings. Please believe me…
“I know you’re worried. Let’s go back?” and with that we returned to our own places. Both of hearts crushed. I was rejected and he was separated. It was such a depressing night.
“Bomi, what’s wrong?” Namjoo asked as I closed the door to our house. “You're soaking!”
“Namjoo,” I sniffed. “He thought I was joking.”
He doesn’t love me.
---
Time passed and we started to grow close again this time much closer than before. His problem was fixed and he thanked me for cheering him up that day, it truly helped him. But still, I wasn’t joking, I was serious and he set me aside. Af