Jaehwan knew that small glances at Sanghyuk was the most he was ever going to get, and he knew that he was going to have to deal with that. He knew he was going to have to deal with the pain that he had to push down every time Sanghyuk introduced him to the new girl he was crushing on, he knew that he was going to have to keep faking the same smile everytime Sanghyuk told him that he had got a kiss out of the date, sometimes even more. He knew that he had no choice but to keep what he felt hidden inside. He knew that if he told Sanghyuk how he truly felt, he would lose his best friend

Jaehwan felt dirty, he felt like the secret he was holding inside was making him feel filthy. He felt filthy about the fact that he had to keep the attraction he felt for Sanghyuk hidden. He was dirty, and it made him hate himself. He hated the way he felt, he wanted all of this to go away. He wanted to wake up one morning feeling clean and refreshed, not having to worry about keeping his true feelings hidden.

--

Sanghyuk always wondered when did Jaehwan become so quiet. When did his obnoxious best friend become what seems to be a shell of a man. He always wondered, but never found the courage to ask him what was wrong. So he just ignored it, just brushed it off and continued on with his day. He stopped being suprised when Jaehwan would text him cancelling on plans they had made to hang out, he kind of expected it now, he knew something was wrong with Jaehwan, but he just couldn't figure what.

--

Jaehwan was a ed up human. He pushed people away when they got to close, he didn't need there help, and he sure as hell didn't need it. He just wanted to be left alone for once, he wanted to work out how he was feeling by himself. He wanted to get over Sanghyuk, he wanted to meet another guy and have him love him back. He wanted to be loved.

He knew he wasn't right in the head. What kind of sick person falls in love with there straight best friend? 

--

Sanghyuk felt weird. He felt things he'd never felt before. Like how he felt his heart flutter when Jaehwan would hang his head down and laugh, how he wanted to sweep the hair off his forehead and kiss those lips that looked so soft...

Sanghyuk felt like he wasn't right in the head. What kind of sick person dreams of doing that stuff with there best friend?

--

Jaehwan was in love, and it was with his best friend.

-- 

Sanghyuk was worried, about his best friend, and about himself

--

This is bad

just like, ignore this chapter

ugh

idk

fck

i had to write something, and i had like little insperation for this chapter??

ugh damn

hopefully, the neo chapter will be better....