2

Hana

“YOU ARE NOT really going to jump, are you?”

            I stumble as my legs hits the hard concrete startled by the stranger voice comes from nowhere. I couldn’t see him but just by his voice I already can imagine how good looking he is in person. ‘He probably are ugly, Hana. Not everyone with deep voice has a good looking features’  I silently scold myself.

 “I’m not trying to kill myself!” I replied acidly, feeling the need to depend myself. I’m actually feeling irritated for even bother to answer him. Do he think my life are so worthless that I just can end my life by jumping from this building? Seriously? Contrary to his thinking, my life are… colorful? Okay, maybe not so colorful. Hana, try again. My life are… my dad’s debts cross my mind suddenly. I dismiss the thought in my head hurriedly. I try again. My life are full of people’s I love! I winces as I try harder to come with excuse. Of course my life are full of people I love. Yes, I have Jiyeon, my best ever friend in the world and the entire universe. I have ajjuma and ajjushi, an old couple own a coffee shop downtown where I was part-timing at, who is actually cares a lot about me a lot and treat me like their own daughter. Ha! See? And I have a bunch of course mate who I talk occasionally because we are not very close to start a random conversation? But they’re still considered as friend too. There I prove it, I said to no one but myself.  

“I never say you’re going to kill yourself. I’m just asking you if you really going to jump though if you really commit a suicide here, it’s a whole lot job to the management to clean up the mess” he pipes up as he walk and sit on the bench before adding some more fuel in his words that makes my heart want to summersault in the ocean of love. “And you aren’t going to die easily here, babe, because here the school of medic? I bet it hard.” he adds with a smirk. I’m very tempted to wipe the smirk on his beautiful lips. Did I say his lips is beautiful? Oh god, I’m such a loner. He’s trying to make a fun of you, you stupid. Why would I even said that? I groan.

“God, do you know you sound like a freak?” I saunter back. My words are spiteful. My embarrassment is now in a whole new level. “And I’m not your babe!” My voice sound a little too loud, I just hope I don’t sound like freak hippie crazy fan girl. Who does he think he are? Called me his babe.

“Wait, I know you… you’re… em… Kris?” aka the manwhore Kris Wu. Aka my first crush. Okay not my first of the first one because I have many crushes over a year and so, I mean who doesn’t crushing over Ryan Gosling, Liam Hemsworth and Wonbin? You’re a real liar to yourself if those people never crossed in your wet dream, even once in your lifetime. But he is the first crush I ever had so real (if you exclude my preschooler crush Jojo Lee). I even going down to myself while thinking about him. Wow, Hana you’re going low okay, please stop your fan-girling! Right now. I order myself. Embarrassment suddenly strike all over my body. Of all situation I get the chance to meet my secret crush is when he think I try to commit a suicide. If he didn’t know before that Hana Lee is a pathetic girl then today he must know.

“Yes? You actually know me.” he chuckle. Wow even his chuckle is y! How did he manage to do that? He step a little more closely to me. At this length I can see his y beautifully features clearly. His chiseled face, his dark… wait I think his eyes has a dark brown color. I never met someone who have a dark brown eyes before. It feel like he can see me deeper which is nonsense because apart that he is my secret crush, he’s totally a stranger.

“Oh, we’re in the same tutorial class for Psychology 101 last year.” I remind him. Psychology 101 is a compulsory subject to take for a medic students, we are not learning it further, but just a bit Introduction to Psychology. He’s also in the same class as I am though he is a year senior than I am. It’s actually really a fun class, I really like it aside of the tutorial classes and tons of assignments the professor assign us to do. I was paired with him in one of the assignment, it an assignment that we need to choose a movie and to elaborate it with the theories we learned in psychology class.

If I could say, we are doing it like an individual assignment because we never did any discussion personally, just a bit discussion through email. The only time we talk is when we were first assigned with the assignment to just exchange email with him and to decide which movie we need to work with. I actually suggest to give a deeper thought about the movie we need to choose because it’s not like we’re comfortable to work with any movie but instead of weighting every details he is being an to me as he know that I’m his junior. In two second we met he already decide what movie we are going to choose and out of many movie in this world, he choose the hunger games! That bastard! I went from headaches to vomiting because the books reading and watching the movie along is too tiring and hard for a fragile soul like me. When I think about it again, I actually feeling really mad with this .

“Are we? I doubt it because a pretty girl like you is hardly to forget but I can’t remember you” he frown deepen.

            Ouch! That’s sting. He really are cannot remember me. I know I’m not ‘that’ pretty to remember but I’m not either forgettable too but it’s actually sting a hella lot more when your crush didn’t acknowledge you. But nothing new actually, why a manwhore like him never pay attention to a girl like me.

            ‘But you didn’t’ I want to say that to him but I keep the words for me instead I say, “Glad a girl like me is out of your radar because if a guy like you interested in a girl like me, that would be a problem.

            “What does it mean?” he sound almost angry. Why?

            “It means that you and I shouldn’t even met.” I said flatly keeping my voice sound neutral and calm.

            “What? Hey!” He called me as I walk to the stairs leaving him on the rooftop.