The funeral was conducted in virtual silence, no one could find it within themselves to crack a joke or try to enjoy it any further. Not even the knowledge that Luhan would be taken care of right now, that he was going to be back with Yifan who would guide him and make sure that everything was fine with him was enough to settle their fears and heavy hearts. No one wanted to comment about anything that was going on, they didn’t even want to speak their final goodbyes to their sleeping brother and that was the hardest realisation.

None of them wanted to be here, none of them wanted to have to add another picture to the doorway in order to still feel as though Luhan was still a big part of their lives.

Why this had to happen for a second time none of them knew and for a long while they were just silence.

No sun shone that day, the clouds were thick and heavy unlike the day that they had celebrated Yifan’s life. Today wasn’t a day of celebration, it was a day of reflection, of questions that couldn’t be answered and of a deeper grief that seemed to set in.

Minseok stood silently, watching as the coffin was sealed and wrapped his arms tightly around the now openly sobbing Baekhyun. He could hear the others breaking down, the tears beginning to break through the stoic faces and part of him wondered why they were really so upset. It felt alien and strange to be there in that moment, almost as if he were merely watching a television show that was killing off a main character because the actor had other projects that were going to be better for their careers.

The only sad thing about thinking like that was that he knew that Luhan was not coming back. That he had left them forever now and they would never again see him.

Still he could will no tears to fall from his eyes, he just stared ahead with a numb mind and let the rain soak through his suit as he had not brought an umbrella or any form of protective weatherproofing. So it came as a bit of a surprise when a thick coat was gently placed over his head and Chen attempted a smile in his direction, “We don’t need you to be catching a cold anytime soon Minseok. I don’t think anyone would want that in the slightest.”

Looking at the younger, Minseok nodded before allowing himself to fall easily into a deep embrace of silent remembrance for his friend. It was still horrible to think that he was gone and was never coming back but this was his way of dealing with the pain and just allowing everything to go by as it was meant to. He felt Suho coming to his opposite side to take hold of his hand and squeeze it tightly, knowing that his leader was silently telling him that if he needed to come and talk then he would be there for him. It was a harsh thing to think that for the last year Suho had carried this painful burden around with him and now that he knew the actually feeling of death he couldn’t help but feel just a little more proud of his leader.

Slowly he pulled away from Chen and carefully shifted the coat which had been thrown over him so that it covered their little Guardian Angel and wrapped him in a hug. Still no words were spoken because there was no need to speak anything as the pair understood one another perfectly and it was nice to just be able to share in the experience in a quiet and accepting manner. No rushing, no overly explaining words and no more self-destructive sorrow. They could just be quiet together and share the pain that they both new intimately.

Kyungsoo was being comforted by Kai and Sehun or maybe it was the other way round, it was almost impossible to tell but right at that moment in time no one really minded or got bothered by it in the slightest. They were here to say their final goodbyes and whilst it was not done in the traditional style it was certainly done in the way that they wanted to deal with it all right now.

Finally Minseok pulled back and nodded at Suho, who returned the nod and then linked hands with Yixing to head towards the final part of the day. Everyone in EXO joined hands at that moment and slowly they headed to the final resting place of their friend and brother though no one wanted to move in the slightest. But they had to pay their respects and just linger a little longer before life was bound to move on.

~*~

Seven days after the funeral and Kyungsoo finished up in the bathroom only to walk out into the main K-Dorm to find the others waiting for him, “What’s going on?”

“Tonight’s the night,” Sehun said, almost looking a little giggly as he hugged Ace tightly to his chest, “Luhan should visit us tonight.”

“He better visit us,” Baekhyun mock pouted, “He still needs to tell me where he hid my eyeliner the little sod cause I can’t find it in the slightest.

Chanyeol rolled his eyes, “That’s what you want to see him for? Honestly of all the daftness you could have picked for that.”

“Oh don’t go bothering him Channie,” Kai said, half flopping onto the taller man to obnoxiously pull at his hair, “I’m sure that Lu will gladly wander off if he hears the pair of you arguing once again.”

Kyungsoo smiled, “He’d probably just see it as a completely normal thing and ignore you two in favour of coming to see the rest of us instead.”

A soft chuckle came from behind as Suho wrapped a hug around Kyungsoo’s waist, “Yeah, he probably would. We’re going over to the M Dorm if that’s okay with you.”

The resident mamma of the group nodded, “I figured, hence why we’ve got a bunch of food boxes to take across because I’m not personally sitting there eating whatever junk food that’s been bought.” It was a complete and total lie of course, him and Minseok had agreed a little over two days ago what food and drinks they would actually be having in the M Dorm for tonight because there was no way that they were going to be sleeping separately. Sod what SM thought of that little situation, they were going over to share the time with their friends and hope that Luhan was as thoughtful as Yifan had been last year when he had visited them.

There again, Kyungsoo had always joked that Yifan had probably left so many trials behind because he was a clumsy great Benben at the best of times.

Pretty soon they Suho was knocking on the door to the opposite dorm and it was opened by a grinning Yixing who ushered them in, “Don’t ask any pointless questions, just go with the flow okay?”

Immediately that brought a surge of questions about what the heck was actually going on but when Sehun stepped into the living room and let out a virtual squeal all noise stopped. The room had been transformed from its usual general mess with a few battered looking sofas into something that resembled a blanket fortress. Chairs and sofas had been turned around and set up in such a way that quite literally a tent had been made by spreading out some bedsheets and what must have been a brush handle was being used to prop it up so that it did indeed look to be a little tent. The rest of the blankets had been spread out in a circle around the pole to make a sleeping area and a few towels were in the process of being stretched out around the edges and being stuck to the furniture with bits of sticky tape.

Tao looked up and smiled, “Hey.”

“Wow, this is awesome!” Sehun said, dumping his stuff down to clamber into the tent and stare at it, “Though why did you go with it?”

Minseok chuckled, “Don’t take this the wrong way but it was our ice breaker all those years ago.”

“Huh?” Suho asked as he knelt down to start adding the blankets and pillows that they had been requested to bring.

Chen smiled, “Basically when we were first formed we kinda went through that awkward phase of not really knowing who was who and it made things complicated in the dorms so one night Lu-ge just randomly decided to build a blanket fort like this and insisted that we help out and sleep under it.”

Yixing nodded, “Yeah, at first it was a little strange but then we started playfully arguing about where things were going to go and who was sleeping next to who and before we knew it everything just sort of fitted into place.”

“So we thought that it’d be a good idea to recreate that experience for tonight,” Tao said with a smile as he placed his toy dog next to Ace, “Cause then we don’t have as much mess to clean up in the morning.”

“Unless Lu-ge has one of his crazy little flip outs about something of course,” Chen joked trying to keep the pain out of his voice but not quite managing it right then.

No one complained in the slightest though and quickly the K members moved to help make sure the fort was secure and looking as bright as humanly possible. Once everything was sorted they clambered into their pyjamas and managed to work out a sleeping arrangement that wouldn’t disturb the precious sprinkling of talc on the floor – the M dorm didn’t have any flour unfortunately – when suddenly Baekhyun let out a shriek and got up.

“Whoa, what’s wrong with you?” Chanyeol asked, frowning towards the other who was scrabbling in his back.

“I forgot to put the notice up on the door to say where we were!” the diva replied, pulling a red disc out of the depths of his back pack with some pretty shaky looking mandarin scribbled on it, “Lu-ge will just get really confused and lost otherwise.”

Slowly Tao sighed, “I’ll go with you to make sure that you don’t get lost one the way back.”

“Make sure you take your keys,” Yixing called after the disappearing pair as he snuggled down again on his pillow.

“And don’t make too much noise coming back either,” Chen called as he rolled onto his back, “I want to get some sleep soon too you know.”

Minseok chuckled, “When did we become so grown up?”

“You aren’t grown up in the slightest,” Suho smiled softly, “But that’s what makes it worthwhile I supposed.”

Five minutes later Baekhyun and Tao were back and were careful of the red string and talc before they clambered back into the blanket fort bed with everyone else to snuggle down to sleep. None of them tried to remain awake, knowing that it would be a next to impossible task, they just hoped that Luhan would really come to visit them as it would give them hope that he was really doing okay now and was no longer in any pain.

Slowly Suho exhaled, noting that his breath came out in a large steam which was odd but his eyes drifted closed, “Goodnight, everyone.”

“Night, Suho,” came the general reply from those just about awake before a gentle hush descended over the dorm as sleep claimed them all. 

authors babbling

yeah just the thing that we need around Christmas time but I finally got a free slot to do some updating on my fics so I thought that this one was long overdue. Plus I tried to make it sweet but if anyone is really in need of some cheer up check out Many Paws For Thoughts! which features EXO having a pet Rottweilier called Hero whose playing with tinsel at the moment. 

hope you're still reading and see you soon (hopefully)