Waking up was harder than normal for Kyungsoo, normally as soon as his alarm blared into life he would be up and about without so much of a problem but today something was almost physically trying to force him back to sleep. Like some invisible force was saying ‘Nope, you don’t want to get up today. You should just sleep in and stay warm’.

A groan escaped from Kyungsoo, as he rolled over onto his side and finally managed to force his eyes open to be greeted by a very curious sight. Xiumin was not resting next to him as he should be, instead the baozi had gotten up at some point in the night and crawled into bed with Luhan to pull him into a tight, warm hug. The scene was irresistibly cute to behold and a smile crossed Kyungsoo’s lips as he slowly pulled himself out of bed to grab his phone mere seconds before his alarm would once again blare into life.

“Oh Xiumin hyung, you’re going to hate me for this but I cannot resist getting this shot,” he giggled and snapped a few pictures quickly onto his phone with a knowing grin. The fans were going to totally dig the shipping image but as he reached to press the upload button that same curious feeling crept back over him. One that was saying that he shouldn’t do such a thing and that there was something completely missing from this scene that made no sense in the slightest. Shaking his head, the owl eyed boy sighed and pocketed the phone before calling lightly, “Xiumin, it’s time to get up. I’m going to grab a shower first okay? Make sure our Prince Deer is up too, though hopefully Suho has gotten him some time off.”

A disgruntled hum came from the elder and Kyungsoo rolled his eyes before heading into the bathroom in order to get himself ready for the day. It would be nice to think that they could all have a day off and would not have to run to this place or that, scoff food that barely filled their aching stomachs and smile until their faces ached but that was the price sometimes of fame. They had to keep going, keep on smiling for the fans else there would be problems and it had already been enough of a rough year for everyone concerned. Kyungsoo tried not to think too much about their missing Daizhyung because it almost made him feel cold and unbalanced but it was slowly getting harder not to do so. Especially with the state that Luhan was getting himself into.

Shaking his head, he turned off the tap and stepped out of the shower, towel drying himself quickly and pulling on some easy but good looking travelling clothes that he could get away with until they got to the next lot of stylists who would pull and push them into whatever they were best to be seen travelling in next. Just picking up his toothbrush to give his teeth a clean, the small man was jolted out of the general peace by a scream from Xiumin.

The toothbrush clattered into the sink as Kyungsoo ran, expecting to find something horrible going on or at the very least some kind of prank from the maknae’s but instead he found himself staring in uttermost confusion.

There was Xiumin, sitting on the bed cradling Luhan’s form and weeping. Actually physically crying so hard that the sound echoed back so horribly that it shocked Kyungsoo more than the scream had done. Xiumin wasn’t one for crying, he remained pretty much stone faced and well-ordered regardless of the situation but right now he looked to be a wreck. A complete total wreck that was slowly crashing down to the ground still clinging desperately onto Luhan.

Kyungsoo snapped himself out of it and rushed towards the other, “Minseok!” he yelled, for no other reason than it felt like the right thing to do at this point in time, “What’s wrong? Why are you screaming?”

Minseok looked up, large teary eyes to almost rival the owl ones which were looking directly into his and a new wave of tears started as he hugged the boy in his arms closer, “I…I…I just…it’s not…it can’t…”

Kyungsoo stared in confusion and reached forward to comfort Minseok with a series of words along the lines of “its okay, we’re going to be perfectly all right,” but the words froze in his throat as his little finger brushed against the cheek of the still silent deer boy. That coldness which he had only felt once before seeped straight through his entire body to freeze his heart and slowly he turned to stare at the other.

“Luhan?” he asked, refusing to believe that this was happening in the slightest and feeling his heart lurch as he took the time to actually look at the boy. For the first time in what felt like forever, Luhan was appearing to rest peacefully in the other’s arms but there was no rise and fall to his chest and the colour had ever so slightly faded from his cheeks. The plump lips had a distinct blue tinge to them and with mounting horror Kyungsoo realised that rigor mortis was beginning to seep into the others body.

“No…” Kyungsoo whispered whilst Xiumin continued to bubble next to him, trying to fight the tears which wanted to desperately flow out of his eyes right at that second in time, “No. It can’t be, it just…”

Staggering upright, the young man hurried back to his bedside to grab his phone and dial the number of the emergency services. He didn’t care if he caused a big scene and commotion, he needed someone with a medical background to come and make Luhan right again. Needed him to wake up and just be slowly groggy and out of synch because there had to be some other explanation. He was not sitting sharing a room with a corpse, there was no way that such a thing could be happening and there was bound to be someone that could fix this.

Surprisingly the medical team got to the hotel room about two minutes before their manager did along with the rest of EXO. The paramedics were quick to usher everyone outside and Chanyeol, Chen and Jongin grabbed hold of Minseok to try and comfort him whilst the others stared on with terrified faces.

Suho was the one to approach Kyungsoo, silent and without his usual comforting aura as he took hold of the younger man’s hand in what could only be described as a knowing movement.

Kyungsoo shook his head, “No…it’s not…it’s not…”

Squeezing the hand, Suho tried his hardest to fight back the tears which were already flowing down his face, “Did it feel the same?”

“Ugh….yes,” Kyungsoo said, finally breaking down even though he was shaking his head, “He was just…just lying there and…oh god.”

Suho turned to embrace the other, wrapping him tightly in a hug and trying his best to not let out his own scream of frustration. There were no more words that could be spoken between the pair, they had been the ones to discover the truth about Yifan last year and if Kyungsoo said that it was the same feeling then there was nothing more than to wait for the inevitable conclusion. Part of him knew that he should go and comfort the others that it would be a good idea to give them reassurances and a shoulder to lean on but he just couldn’t. Not at that moment, not after all they had gone through.

He didn’t want to…

The doorway opened to the room and a paramedic stepped out with a sombre expression on his features. Gently he his lips as he approached their manager and whispered quietly to him but was cut off mid-sentence by Sehun grabbing his hand.

“Tell us,” the maknae said, “Tell us now cause I don’t want to wait.”

The man glanced back at the manager for confirmation and after receiving a confirmation nod, he turned to the group. Clearly this was part of the job that was not one of his favourites and already whatever hope had just been clinging onto every last person crumbled. “I’m very sorry to report but…Luhan died sometime last night…”

The rest of the man’s words were cut off as cries of indication and new tears broke forth, the news crashing like a tidal wave over everyone because they did not wish to believe that this was happening again. They could not lose another brother like this, how could have happened? The questions were endless as they roamed around their heads and hearts but none of them were spoken aloud because there was nothing left to be said right now.

Only tears to be wept and anguish to be voiced loud and clear.

The paramedic moved away, feeling as though he was intruding and plus he had reports to get working on as well as various other parties to call in regards to the young man’s death.

EXO’s manager sighed and tried to fight back his own tears, staring down at his phone as it blared into life for the fourth time in a row. He knew that he’d have to speak to the management now to explain the hold up and it was sure to not be a nice conversation in the slightest. However he moved away from the boys, letting them continue to grieve in their private company because there was nothing else to be done about it.

It was two hours later that the coroner and those from the funeral services were able to access the building and reverently remove the body of their former friend but to EXO the wait was eternal. No one wanted to move, to let go or give up what had been taken away from them.

Minseok managed to stagger half-heartedly to the window to watch as the black bag containing the body of his friend was carefully loaded up onto the waiting ambulance whilst frantic media personnel were shoved roughly back by security guards employed on both behalf of the hotel and SM.

His knees buckled once the doors were closed and new tears began to run down his face, unable to get anymore words out of his lips.

Luhan was gone, far away from them all and there was no chance that he would ever be coming back. The thought was too alien, too harsh and too unreal for him to process, as was the feeling of having held him in his final moments without knowing so.

Chanyeol was once again the one who moved across to the eldest member to bring him back to the two beds which had been shoved together so that the now ten remaining members of EXO could hug and hold onto one another in a big loving group pile. None of them really wanted to admit that this was happening but like this it was possible to feel like all of them were together, that all of them were safe and that it was safe to close their eyes and just pretend that another of their brothers had not gone up to Shangri-La to wait for them down the long winding path that they would travel together one day.     

authors babbling:

okay how many tissues, teddies and hours of forgiveness do I have to give people?

Partly for the content of this fic but also for the main fact that I have taken forever to update and I sincerely apologuise for that but between Hen Parties, Stag Dos, sorting out stuff for the wedding, work being frantic, an actual wedding and going on holiday and now Nanowrimo being in full session I have barely had the chance to focus on anything and my fanfictions and roleplay replies have been suffering the most because of that. I am sorry and I hope that this sort of makes up for it all, even if it is mega sad. 

Just take solace in the fact that it didn't happen cause that would have been just totally terrible. 

Please leave comments and I'll hopefully get my moving on the other stuff that I have to catch up on 

love you all lots

Chia