So here the second part!! I guess it's not fluffy but I kept the mood of the story!! I stil hope you'll enjoy it!! Sorry for the delay and the long wait I hope this is worth it. Thank you for reading it and showing it your love!!

“… “I’m sorry, it’s not you, it’s me”!!… Seriously Ji, you had to make me miserable in front of the entire world!!! Haven’t you wasted enough of my life already?? You also need to broadcast our break-up for everyone to see?? …”

The Japanese model’s rent seemed to be endless, using all the memory slot of his answering machine but he was ok with it, he knew he deserved it, that Kiko had the right to be angry even if she was the first to post the & The City capture on her Instagram… He huffed at the thought!! The girl always had quite a temperament but it was something he liked her for. He remembered when they'd first met, it was at a party when they made their debut in Japan, YG had wanted them to make connections so they were forced to meet endless of people, which bored all of them to no end, at the exception of the maknae of course.

The irony was that it has been with SeungHyun that the beautiful girl had clicked the best. She had this perfect balance of shyness and cool attitude to melt the man’s defense walls. Afterwards, he had learnt to tolerate the girl and actually ended up appreciating her a lot more when they found some common grounds and she quickly became one of his favorite clubbing and shopping companion. But what she shared with SeungHyun was on another level, it was a truer and deeper friendship.

Still, SeungHyun had to remain careful. Homouality in Korea was a big deal, and she wasn’t a close enough friend to have been put in the confidence. That's probably why, a couple of years later, she made the mistake to sought advice from the older man to help with her infatuation on the man’s boyfriend (not that she knew). That immediately ended all type of friendship between the two of them. But it took JiYong more time to notice the change. It took him too long to notice that his lover wasn’t following them to parties anymore when Kiko was involved, that he started to spend all of his free time closeted in his cave, nursing his designed chairs and expensive wines…

The last straw came when pictures of the two of them leaked… they were not even dating, just friends, at least that what’s he thought, but articles were spreading rumors about the two of them, too happy to be able to target the almighty G-Dragon. It flooded on internet, TV, gossip magazines… and that kept SeungHyun out of reach. The other man used to be by his side to help him through this kind of crap before. But here he was, alone. When he had always been bad at dealing with things that were out of his control, especially on his own.

His way to cope was to go out every night, drowning in alcohol and drugs. Surprisingly it was when the scandal started to die down, that, half drunk, in a private section of a club, Kiko chose to confess her feelings. He was lost, it was so confusing, that Kiko was caring when his boyfriend was closing more on himself, letting him alone in the middle of the mess that his life had become.

He remembered stuttering something like “I’m sorry, I can’t” to the girl, but it probably sounded not convincing enough since Kiko had insisted, desperate and crying on his shoulder that she would take whatever he could give her, that she loved him so much, … He hadn’t even seen his own boyfriend for what seemed an eternity and his mind was so blurred by alcohol, it should have not really been surprising that the following morning he woke up with the Japanese model into his arms…

Things went from bad to worse as he just let it continue to happen, following the ups and downs of his relationship with SeungHyun. Each time the other isolated himself, the wake up in the girl's bed, the scandals, the hurt in the older man gaze, etc. were all coming back. It was a vicious circle that made him feel like a monster, unable to handle anything anymore in his life.

He knew it had to stop, he had to make a choice, but when he tried to talk to SeungHyun, he was met with a cold wall, and he answered rejection with rejection. He was the one who broke up officially but SeungHyun had chosen to run away too. He felt like the other man had abandoned him first, so he hid behind stupid ideas and put an end to the misery that their relationship had become, not in a really clean way, that’s true but that didn’t mean it hadn’t hurt…

“ … that was that song you wrote for me, the one you promised!!! “Let’s not fall in love” was my break up song, isn’t it!?..”

Kiko’s voice was still screaming through the speakers, the cries hidden behind the angry words woke him from his musing. The truth was that he had lost his inspiration, when he had lost his heart, when he had lost SeungHyun… “Window” should have been his last present to the other man but he had even refused that. He had been completely shut out of the older man’s life… And everything inside him had died the day SeungHyun had rejected him. Again he had sunk into partying, melting himself into faceless crowd, into alcohol and smoke numbing his mind until he couldn’t feel pain anymore.

“I was a fool to think that maybe it was “If you”!! Am I?! This one was his song!! You never loved me, it has always been HIM!!… you’re right, you’re a f**cking selfish bastard”

The sobs that followed found their echo in his own throat. She deserved better too but he couldn’t make it he couldn’t spend the rest of his life in an empty shell, he just wanted to feel again. He remembered the jump that his heart had made when SeungHyun had entered in the studio a few months prior. He and Teddy had been trying to get something out of him for Bigbang’s new album, but it was when SeungHyun had been sitting beside him that the flow and ideas had come to life again. He remembered how he had melted on the inside and tears had threaten to fall as SeungHyun had given him a small smile. How everything in him had been humming again as their chemestry seemed to naturally come back. How hurt he had felt as he could still spot a hint of sadness on the man's face each time SeungHyun had looked at him.

They wrote basically the whole album together, Teddy, once satisfied that it was safe to let them both alone, used to quickly excuse himself to discuss the music arrangements with Choice and Kush. He only wrote two songs by himself, the one he had promised Kiko when they started dating, it had been just a joke, they'd been having fun when she had asked that if they ever were to break up he might at least write her a love song as a souvenir. But was it really a joke now the break-up had actually happened? He couldn’t help but feel like he owed it to the girl for the time she gave him.

Of course, the other was for his muse. He didn’t know if he could, and even less how to, approach the older man, how to win him back?! His feelings had never changed, SeungHyun would always be his one true love. He could not live without him, his recent experience had proved it, he needed the man beside him. The song was sad but it conveyed all of his feelings, all of his regrets, hoping that his hyung would understand and find it in his heart to forgive him. He could at least hope as the man no longer avoided him. All he had to do was to let his hyung listen to it and make up his mind because in the end, it was not his decision to make.

To say he was nervous before pushing the play button would be the understatement of the century, the quite easy atmosphere turning tense while the song filled the studio. The wait for SeungHyun's reaction was torture, he couldn’t meet his hyung's gaze nor prevent his teeth to worry at his lips restlessly. When silence fell back in the room, his heart was hammering into his chest, waiting for whatever the older had to say. Without a word, the man stood and walked out, the sound of the door closing, an echo to the one of his shattering heart.

A few hours later, when the door opened again, he hadn’t moved from his spot, eyes locked on the floor until slender fingers lifted his chin, forcing him to raise his head and meet deep coffee orbs reddened by tears. He didn’t realize that smooth lips were upon his, and before he could respond to the kiss, SeungHyun pulled away, searching the other's gaze, “Don’t you dare to leave me again Ji! Don’t you ever hurt me again!”. Tears of joy melt with the sad ones still glistening on his cheeks “I promise you Hyung”.

Honestly if he had to choose his favorite song it would be the one they wrote after that day, the one they wrote together with all the meanings of the word! It would be Zutter because it wasn’t written out of regret nor for Kiko, or SeungHyun, or anybody… but because it was their song, of the two of them and it was written out of love.

Today, he is happy, to finally be with SeungHyun and knowing that it’s what is right because nothing has felt as wrong as not being with him! But Kiko didn’t deserve the pain and he shouldn’t have used her. He still feels sad for her and he doesn’t know whether he should contact her or not, would it make things better or worse between them. The beeping sound indicating the end of the message fills the emptiness of the room. Facing the phone, unable to make a move, his tears fall on the machine, blurring the red numbers.

When time seems to stop, imprisoning him in an angst bubble, strong arms snake around his waist and pull him against a broad familiar chest. Sweet lips are kissing is neck from his shoulder all the way up to his ears and that deep voice murmuring against his skin, covers the sadness, the guilt with warmth, lightness and love.

“She’ll understand, maybe not yet and maybe she won’t forgive but when she falls in love she’ll understand…”