I put it as completed because I wrote it as a one shot!! BUT I already started to write a sequel which probably have a better ending ... (stop spoiling you there) I still won't make any promise as it could take me forever to write it.... so here you go with the angst...

This question again….

He knew this would come out, how could it not… That’s the main reason of why he wasn’t so keen to the whole promoting thing. “Good Boy” came out in the spur of the moment, Bae and him were just playing around in the studio, preventing him to drown in more angsty thoughts. They were not really hoping for a result, it was just for fun until Papa-YG found out and seemed to like it enough. That came as a surprise when his BOSS asked them to take advantage of the guerilla of subunits he planned to produce to make up for the lack of release from his agency and so, to record it under GDYB’s name.

As always, he enjoyed producing the song, working with Bae was easy and it occupied his mind. But, when the question of the promotion was raised, he became reluctant, so much that it took all of Yang Goon's authority and persuasion will to convince him to go to the press conference. “Hopefully it will help you to heal this phobia of media you seem to be developing recently. It’ll be good for you to remember what you liked in this job. You’re an artist for god sake, and you seem to need to be reminded that!! And so do the public by the way… Moreover, you’ll have YoungBae by your side, I won’t let you go fight alone!” HyunSuk's speech and the soothing hand of his best friend running circles on his back coerced a small “Ok” out of his mouth.

He’s regretting it so much now that the dreaded question has been asked, the song should have stayed in the ‘draft’ folder so he would be able to hide until the storm passed. He was tired. Tired of scandals, of rumors, of justifications, … So tired of all this . His teeth sank into the flesh of his bottom lip as he considered to actually answer the question. He could not tell the truth, of course, but he could tell something convincing enough to not hear that again.

On the other hand, how could he, when he knew he couldn’t face the consequences, besides his ethics prevented him to make an official statement without the consent of the other persons involved. Still the weight was difficult to bear, confused, he looked around for SeungHo hoping his manager could help him, however when he found the man, the latter had a compassionate smile on his lips, simply shaking his head in no. A sigh passed his lips, gathering some courage, before answering “I’ve nothing to say” to the journalists.

Obviously that wouldn’t tame the hungry gossip columnists to drop the hot subject. “I don’t know what to tell you…” He continued, hiding his uneasiness behind a laugh. That would be the most honest statement he was allowed to make, nobody could or would understand the mess that his love life was anyway. He was desperate, his heart aching at the awoken memories and his mind blank, refusing him a satisfying enough reply. He felt relieved when YoungBae spoke up, finally shutting down the subject.

The rest of the interview went pretty smoothly now that the elephant in the room was out and that it had been clear that he would not talk about personal issues. When it finally ended, his closest friend asked him out for a drink “you obviously need it, and it’ll be safer if I keep you company …” He snorted at that and if the latter hadn't quite save him before he wouldn’t have swallowed the snotty comment ‘like what!! I need to be babysit!!’ With tight lips, he nodded in agreement, he really could use a drink and to be completely honest, he knew that he would probably drunk call him if he was drinking alone.

Anyway, it felt good to be out with YoungBae again, like the good old times. Just playing and joking around, forgetting about the disaster that his life had become, for a brief moment, and with the help of alcohol, he could escape from stardom, from expectations, from disillusions, … The following morning though, when the alarm went off, everything came back hitting him square in the face. He still felt relieved to find himself in his own bed and took a mental note to thank YoungBae as he rummaged in his nightstand drawer for some ibuprofen that could appease the ache of the hangover before hiding back under the warm blanket until he felt human again.

A couple of hours later, when his brain stopped pulsating inside his skull and his stomach seemed to tolerate the idea of food, he got up and headed toward the kitchen, he really needed a whole pot of coffee and a bowl of rice. While eating, he became functional enough to see the flashing green light on his phone, and guessing that it was SeungHo that would text him his schedule for the day, he neglected his breakfast to check his phone. When the screen came to life, he found two messages and one missed call.

The first message was indeed from SeungHo letting him know that he had cleared his schedule for the day so he could rest a little after the turn of events of the day prior. After replying a quick thanks to his manager, he went back to his unread messages, freezing when he saw the name flashing under his finger, HIM. He might have drunk called him after all, even with his friend watching over him. Running away, he decided that he should probably check the missed call first, letting the text that would certainly crush his heart for last. Fate seemed to pursue him and he felt like the world was crashing down on him when he saw that it was the famous Japanese model who had tried to reach him.

He could not handle to call her back right now, it would have to wait until he would be in a less depressive state and would actually be able to deal with all this . He knew he would have to tell her the truth, but not now, it would be when they were old, when it would not matter if she was mad, if he had wasted both of their lives, because then, he would have what he wanted, what everyone expected him to have, his perfect life… For now, he just couldn’t take the risk she left him, he had already sacrificed too much for that.

Strengthened by his little mantra, reminding him why he'd done all of this, his let his finger hovering toward the unread message section again, nearly caressing the beloved name on the screen. He couldn’t help the longing that filled his watering eyes, neither the soft, sad smile stretching his lips while that handsome face filled his mind. He knew that whatever lay there, at one click from him, was probably not something pleasant, so he took a long breathe gathering some courage before lowering his thumb to the screen. As the words conveyed their meaning, tears started falling uncontrollably, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth, the taste of the future he had chosen.

“Ji,

Please don’t make it harder for me. YOU are the one who made this choice!!

Hyun”