Do you remember?
My bestfriend (I think I fell in love with)Do you remember when I said I'd always be there.
Ever since we were ten, baby.
---
1.) Reminiscing
Jimin remembers.
No, he reminisced about it. Pondering for hours on what his life would be without Taehyung.
Even the mere thought of Taehyung gone, unknown, nonexistent in his life terrified him to no ends.
Taehyung was more of a twin to him than a best friend. They were stuck to their hips, entangled with each other right from the moment they first took their breath in this world, and Jimin cannot imagine a world without his other half.
He remembers.
A promise he made when they were nothing but young children.
And as he lay unmoving underneath the dim light of the sun, dully kissing his skin, Jimin could feel his consciousness slip into slumber. The soft breeze lulling him to sleep, the euphonious ruffling of the leaves like a lullaby, and Jimin wholly accepted siesta.
While he dozed, his mind recreated a scene from his childhood.
Tae..."
From the ground sat a brunet, a heartbreaking sight that Jimin would glady do without for the entirety of his life.
Jimin neared the sniffling younger boy, clutching his legs and pressing them against his chest as he stared on the dirt ridden ground.
A pang of pain stabbed his chest, and Jimin knelt down, patting the brunet's hair in an attempt to comfort him.
"What's wrong?"
Taehyung turned his head towards him and spoke.In a small, heistant-so utterly, utterly breakable voice, Taehyung gazed at him as if one word could break him into a million unattainable pieces.
Am I a freak?
Jimin hadn't even processed his body was moving. In his small, ten year old body, he cradled the crying boy in his arms.
In his barely mature, yet growing mind, Jimin knew that the words coming out of Taehyung's mouth were lies.
"If you're a freak, I'm a freak. We're twins, remember?"
And Taehyung. Small, breakable, porcelain Taehyung. Face pressed against his tiny chest, hands gripping his shirt and tears staining his clothes, whispered. Scared, terrified, miserable and Jimin did nothing more but tighten his grip on Taehyung's glass figure.
You won't leave me?
Jimin smiled. And even as a ten year old, there was something tingling in his chest. A warm bloom reminding him of the budding flowers in Spring, those he adored watching from afar. A spark; the fireworks that detonates like a ticking time bomb within the cosmic abyss of the universe. And a heat. So comparable to an erupting volcano.
And yet a consummate sensation of bliss, so accepting and tranquil.
"I won't. I'll always be by your side. I promise"
----
When we were out on the playground playing pretend.
I didn't know it back then.
---
2.) Games
"Chimothy~ Why do I have to be the wife?" Whined the youngest of the two.
Taehyung pouted, crossing his arms and glaring at Eleven year old Jimin who was busying himself with something. The other brunet was kneeling on the ground, a borrowed suitcase lay open in front of him as he searched for something within it. A smile that lit up his face suggested that Jimin eventually found what he was looking for.
Taehyung huffed sullenly. Why did he have to be the wife? Why couldn't he be the husband? He was a boy, yes? And so was Jimin, but still.
Jimim turned to face Taehyung and he fished out a pink frilly apron from out of the suitcase, a big toothy grin on his face lighting up his while features contrasting to Taehyung's sullen one.
"Because I'm not cute enough to be the wife! So you're the wife TaeTae!"
---
Now I realize you are the only one
It's never too late to show it.
---
3.) Birthday
"Happy birthday Tae!"
Thirteen year old Jimin smiled happily, shoving the large, neatly wrapped box the same height as Taehyung into the other's face.
Taehyung goggles at the enormous size, head switching to look at Jimin and the gargantuan present in front of him. His jaws slcaked and gaping like a fish that came out of water. Jimin chuckled as his best bro's now soft lilac hair swished with every movement finding the small gesture intimately endearing.
"Y-y-you..Bro...This is too much!"
Taehyung, adorned beautifully with a large oversized black jumper that reached mid thigh, covering his ripped black jeans and the collar dangling dangerously of his shoulder, stood up and attempted to return the expensive looking gift.
His facial features screaming guilt and worry, something Jimin openly relished. Emotions swimming clearly within his glistening orbs hidden underneath the round rimmed glasses. And yet even the small obstacle did not obfuscate the vivid, unconveyed words within his irises.
It was stupefying how Taehyung could be an open book, wearing his heart and emotions on his sleeve for the world to see.
Jimin revels in it. How Taehyung, eccentric, beautiful Taehyung, could express his emotions, his thoughts, his opnions through simple means.
"C-Chimothy you didn't have to spend so much money on me!"
His voice staggered, hysterical in anxiety and slightly desolated that Jimin may have had to empty out his wallet to achieve this present for him.
"Oh my gosh, your wallet must be nonexistent! I'm so sorry'"
You're worth it
He doesn't say it and instead, he gingerly pushed the large box into Taehyung's almost quivering arms. He smiled softly, patting the other's hair in reassurance, just like he always did to comfort the boy near in tears.
"Don't worry TaeTae...I knew you wanted it. It's okay, I wanted to get it for you"
Taehyung peeked from around the large box obscuring Jimin from him, sniffing his nose.
"Are you sure?"
Jimin laughed, ruffling Taheyung's hair affectionately.
"Yes, I'm sure"
---
"Wow! How did you know I wanted the life sized Baymax teddy bear!?"
Jimin chuckled fondly for the millionth time.
"It's a secret!"
---
Grow old together,
Have feelings we had before
Back when we were so innocent
---
4.) Paper planes
They had a weird habit, to say the least.
Paper planes.
Something they always make them during class, whenever boredom makes an unwelcomed appearance or simply just because.
And written inside the neatly folded paper, a little message resided. Not intricate, and not nearly as intriguing as their own conversations face to face.
But Jimin knew.
That with each word, each of a pen as they wrote the little messages in their not so secret method of transportation, there was something-Not noticeable- but still lingering within it.
Of how strong, unwavering and simply unbreakable their bond was.
A tiny sharp pain jolted him out of his musings, and Jimin looked to see what had hit him during their boring class.
On the floor was a paper plane.
A smile made its way onto his face, and Jimin reached to pick it up, catching a whistling, sixteen year old Taehyung from the corner of his eye, humming occasionally at the opposite side of the room.
He laughed quietly to himself, and unfolded the paper. The contents had made him snort amusedly.
'Tae is hungry'
It usually shows their bond.
But sometimes, these little messages could be normal.
It was...nice, for some queer reason.
---
I pray for all your love
Girl, our love is so unreal
I justq wanna reach and touch you, squeeze you, somebody pinch me
---
(I must be dreaming)
---
5.) Naps
It was times like these in the past that Jimin enjoyed the most.
Not because Taehyung was any less beautiful, but because Taehyung settles his head on his lap unmoving, and very different from his usual boxy smiles, crinkled eyes and somehow chubby endearing cheeks.
It was a sight presented to him and him only. Not even Taehyung's past lovers manages to keep Taehyung unmoving within their arms for an indefinite amount of time. It was always him.
Jimin was the only person humbled to see Taehyung's almost vulnerable state. A sight of rosy pink cheeks, large eye lids covering his doe eyes that did not crinkle in his slumber, long thick eyelashes casting a opaque shadow underneath his puffy eyes, and lips settled into the most neutral position it could get.
And Taehyung was ethereally gorgeous in this rare moment of silence. The mere existence of silence within Kim Taehyung's vocabulary was enough to unsettle Taehyung's family and friends.
But there was that inexplicably concealed faith
That Taehyung, small, lovable, strong Kim Taehyung, trusted Jimin the most. That Taehyung deems Jimin as the person he could put his faith onto, enough to show him his weakest state, exposed to everything and anyone.
And as Jimin eighteen year old Taehyung's fluffy blonde hair, the heated sensation he continuously feels when he's with Taehyung blooms anew within his chest, butterflies fluttering in his stomach.
Jimin's eyes soften, still watching Taehyung and his sporadic little snores, Jimin smiled affectionately.
I want this to last
---
This is something like a movie
And I don't know how it ends, girl
But I fell in love with my best friend
---
6.) Realization
Jimin is disgruntled. He feels confusion, anger, malcontent and every other negative emotions he never thought to have had spring from the deepst pits of his container of hidden emotions.
The most vexing thing was, Jimin did not know why he was feeling like hell reigned on earth. Was it because of the scene he had witness earlier? Seeing Taehyung's boyfriend Jeongguk kiss him passionately right in front of him before having the gall to give a victorious smirk to Jimin when Taehyung had not been looking? That had served to irritate him?
Jimin growled, clutching the crumpled sheets underneath his fingers.
That was very understandable, seeing another kiss your bestfriend before eyeing you haughtily when Jimin was very sure he was used to this, having witness this scene far too many times.
The only question was, why did that affect him so much more than he had wanted it to?
A sudden pain from his head snapped Jimin aout from whatever disconcerted thoughts his mind was thinking and he yelped in shock.
"Jimin I would appreciate it if you could stop drilling holes into the television. I want to continue playing my Mario kart in peace and if you do not cease your useless whining, I will personally skin your "
Seokjin scrutinised him judgementally and Jimin huffed, playfully kicking the elder.
"Jin hyung~ Why do you have to be unsupportive here! I'm in an interal crisis!" He explained unhelpfully, and Jin raised a perfectly groomed eyebrow before pausing the game and setting the wii control down beside him.
"What is it now?" Jin scrunched his face, gesturing for Jimin to elaborate on his statement. Jimin sighed, letting his body fall on the bed as he stared at the ceiling.
"Jeongguk is a , I swear!" He snapped, his rare harsh tone not directed st his hyung. Jin tilted his head in question, looking at the brunet who was now glsring holes st the ceiling instead of the television.
"Really? He's pretty alright if you ask me" Jin wasn't necessarily defending Jeongguk, he was merely stating his opinion. The kid wasn't half bad, save for the fact Jeongguk can sometimes be too harsh with Taehyung, but he cared for the other.
Jimin snorted, peering at Jin.
"Hyung you know very well that even the words coming out of your mouth aren't entirely true"
Jin shrugged, deciding to let the other have his way for now. Jimin was correct anyways. Although he didn't see Jeongguk as someone profoundly malevolent, it did not mean he liked the other.
Jimin nodded in satisfation, knowing his hyung agreed of Jeongguk's art of dickness. He continued in his ramblings.
" I mean, hyung, I'm alright with seeing Taehyung's boyfriends, past and presently Jeongguk , kiss him but sending a look of 'In your face' to me is really rude." Jimin frowned remembering Jeongguk from earlier on.
"It's annoying, and I don't like it. Actually be honest, I've never liked Taehyung's passed boyfriends. They were all laboured that didn't know how to properly take care of Taehyung. Like-One of them even forgot Taehyung's sever allergy to nuts and if I hadn't been there, Taehyung could have been sent to the hospital!"
Jimin's frown deepens as memories of Taehyung's past lovers, now dubbed as mistakes, flooded his mind.
"Seriously, I would have killed-No, that's incorrect. I would have torutred and maimed them first before proceeding to murder them the slowest way possible. I don't like how they look at Taehyung, how they touch him, how they hurt him, and how the lied to him like seriously--"
"Jimin, why don't you just admit it?"
Jin interrupted him from his pathetic prattling with a hiss, and Jimin snapped up, staring at Jin confusedly.
"What?" He questioned tentatively, bewildered at Jin's sudden exclamation.
Jin grunted, pinning the younger boy with a 'Are you ing kidding me?' Stare. Running a hand through his tousled locks, Jin sighed.
"What I mean was....Why don't you just say you're in love with Taehyungie and you're merely jealous"
What?
Jimin's jaw slacked, examining Jin for any lies that may have came with this assumption. But his hyung was dead serious, of the blank stare was anything to go by with.
He...loved Taehyung?
Jimin's stare dropped to his hands.
He loved his best friend?
His beautiful, funny, outstanding, eccentric, special best friend...He loved him? Did he love Taehyung who smiles at him when Jimin does something inexplicably humiliating? Him? The guy that creates buffoonish nonsense and puns. And Taehyung; His best friend that veritably laughs at him?
Did he adore Taehyung who supports him, bothering to attend Jimin's showcases even with deadlines and hordes of activities being deposited in Taehyung's life? The one who smiles and laughs and cries and kisses away all the pain he ever had?
Jimin stared at his hands, realization dawning on his face. He...loved Taehyung?
It was ironic. Like a trigger. A double edged sword; Jimin's confusing emotions had sprung with true clarity; how Jimin glared at every single person who dare eyed Taehyung, how he despised all of Taehyung's past lovers, how he abhors others touching Taehyung, how he wanted to be with Taehyung, to touch him, to stay with him, to hold him and to make him feel like the most important person in the world.
Oh-Oh
Jimin laughed humorlessly, ignoring Jin's stare for now.
How could he have been so blind?
Stupid, Stupid Park Jimin.
You're in love with your bestfriend you foolish .
---
A trigger indeed. It happens in an instant, but the pain is unbearable.
---
I think I'm in love. I think I'm in love, I think I'm in love
I fell in love with my best friend
---
Through all the dudes that came by
And all the nights that you'd cry.
Girl, I was there right by your side.
---
8.) Cheating
Taehyung calls him.
At three in the morning, Jimin was woken up by the sounds of his phone ringing. The merry chime of his ringtone drumming against his eardrums. He groaned, attempting to block the clamorous noise by burying himself further within his duvet until the noise finally desists its obnoxious ringing.
Deeming it safe to go back into slumber, he let's the steady rhythm of his heart lull him slowly into dreamland. A rhythmic ostinato that reminds him of Taehyung. How the younger's heart would thump in his ears when they sleep, how Jimin would wrap his arms around Taehyung, inhaling his sweet scent. How-
He snaps his eyes wide open, a growl slipping past his lips.
Perdition
How could he sleep when thoughts of Taehyung prevented him to do so?
His phone chimes again, and Jimin takes it. His eyes comically widens at the caller, and he wastes no more time answering it.
"Tae"
"J-Jimin"
From the quivering voice, the heartbroken stutter and the whisper of his name, Jimin knew something was wrong. Taehyung was hesitantly reserved, scared; like one word and Jimin would disappear. Would leave Taehyung.
The thought it self was sacrilege.
---
How could I tell you I loved you
When you were so happy
With some other guy?
---
9.) Hamburgers
Jimin brings hamburgers to Taehyung's room.
Taehyung adores hamburgers. Another essential thing to brighten Taehyung's dampening mood.
Jimin opens the doors to Taehyung's room. The sight that accosted him had Jimin's blood boiling.
Taehyung lays in bed, his eyes clamp shut in agonising pain. His body curled into a fetal position, tissues clutched tightly against his fingers. He was shaking, again. And Jimin hates it.
He approaches the other, patting his head and running his fingers in Taehyung's pastel hair. Even without words passed, Taehyung cried harder. Because he knew Jimin was there, Jimin was going to support him. Jimin was someone Taehyung can lean on.
And Jimin could do nothing for now but let Taehyung scream in his covers. He could watch, unavailing as Taehyung's crystaline tears stains the sheets. As taehyung buries his head, digging against Jimin's hips. The tears were wrong--cold, his mind whispers. Not warm. Like Taehyung was suppose to be.
And Taehyung screams, his words passing his throat roughly. His voice croaking, breaking at the crushing intensity. Like a staccato of notes, incomplete, detatched, hiccups and angered sighs escaping his bruised lips.
Jimin didn't know why he was crying as well.
---
Now I realize you were the only one
It's never too late to show it.
---
10.) For you
It was...uncanny.
Jimin didn't know why.
Why was he giving something like this for Taehyung's birthday?
Taehyung desrves the whole world. Taehyung deserves the whole universe underneath him. He deserves everything.
Why did Jimin sing him a measly song? For Taehyung's special day?
~And don't lie, bright eyes. I know it's me that you see when you fall asleep, cause I know; It's you,I dream about everyight giving me this feeling like love~
What unsettles Jimin is the fact that Taehyung is crying.
---
Grow old together,
Have feelings we had before
When we were so innocent.
---
11.) A song from the past
Jimin had almost completely forgotten.
The reason why Taehyng cried.
It was a tiny reason.
Jimin use to sing it everyday to Taehyung when they were young.
He wondered why he stopped.
---
I know it sounds crazy
That you'd be my baby.
Girl, you mean that much to me.
---
And nothing compares when
We're lighter than air and
We don't wanna come back down.
---
12.) Yes or No?
It's two choices.
There were two choices for Jimin to take.
If he were to take yes; there were two outcomes. Two choices, two outcomes each.
One; Taehyung wouldn't accept him. Taehyung would hate him, his best friend falling for him when Jimin was merely a shadow. Been a shadow for years. And Taehyung grows, Taehyung- his light; he glows brighter, and as Jimin becomes darker. When Taehyung grows happier--happier in another man's arms, happier against another man's kiss, happier with another man-- Jimin is slowly left in the dark.
Or Two; He would feel the same way. He would feel how Jimin is feeling, how he wants to touch, to kiss, to be with Taehyung. It was the more desired outcome.
However, He could choose no.
And Jimin would never know if Taehyung loves him back. He would never know if he ever stood a chance to be beside him. The thought of it scares him.
What if Jimin never did stood a chance with Taehyung? What if Jimin was never meant to be with Taehyung? What if Jimin was only meant to love Taehyung the way some people are loved--from a distance.
It's laughable.
Jimin is terrified. Absolutely terrifed.
He's so scared of losing Taehyung.
He laughs ruefully.
Why is he so afraid of losing Taehyung? When the other never belonged to him.
But the thought. The mere thought of Taehyung with another man after all his hardships, another man that would hurt Taehyung and crush heart; It itched underneath his skin irritably. Like the hairy legs of centipides, almost poisonous with every miniscule crawl.
The one thing standing with horrid clarity is the fact Taehyung would be with another man. Without Jimin ever telling how he was mad for the other. And somehow, it was fallacy.
Jimin would rather take the chances, take everything; the risk, the happiness--everything. Before taking the fall; the pain, the crushing realization--the fall. He'd much rather sacrifice everything than staying in the middle, never knowing of anything.
He chooses yes.
---
And I don't wanna ruin what we have
Love is so unpredictable.
---
13.) Do it
He grabbed his phone. His hands shaking,his body quivering,his soul trembling at the intensity; the sensation. The fact that Jimin was going to do it.
He was going to call his best friend. He was going to meet him,face to face to meet with Taehyung's glowing eyes. To gaze into those eyes that could look right through him. Staring into the gates of his soul. He was going to say his feelings, close to being extinct, but remaining dormant.
Until it was ready to erupt, and Jimin calls Taehyung.
'Meet me. Han River. Fifteen minutes'
---
But it's the risk that I'm taking, hoping, praying
---
14.) Taking steps
There.
He stood.
Taehyung stood.
Beautiful, glowing Kim Taehyung.
He stood, underneath the unmoving sceneic display of the night. The almost frozen twinkling lights of Seoul glinting, the Han river mirroring it's colouful nature.
And Taehyung. Sweet, lovable Kim Taehyung.
Had his eyes closed, lips set into an indulgent smile and eyes slose shut as he leaned against the railing preventing him from falling in the river. The harsh, biting wind howled, ruffling Taehyung's now perfectly natural hair colour, his scark following in tow.
And Jimin froze, again that feeling of fireworks and blooming flowers, detonating time bombs and erputing volcanoes buds anew in his chest. Only this time, much fiercer, a much wilder fervour.
Because Taehyung looked ethereal. His surroundings merely emphasising his godlike looks. And Taehyung looked accepting; of the cold, of the heat, of both the evil and the good. Darkness and Light dancing a fiery dance around him, graciously moving with precise intricacies.
And the lump in his thorat forms again, butterflies in his stomach fluttering viscously, all visceral thoughts overcoming his sense of logic. His body acted, not bothering to give a second thought to what he should say before runing towards his best friend's direction.
For now, Jimin could only hope.
Hope as he calls Taehyung's name.
Hope as Taehyung turns to him, the blinding smile set on his face, never failing to make his heart thump.
Hope as he takes the other in his arms.
And Hope. Desperately hope...
---
You'd fall in love with your best friend
----
16.) Epilogue
"Chimothy, Chimothy. Wake up"
Slowly, Jimin's eyes fluttered open. The sight greeting him brought an instant smile to his face and Jimin sat up, running a hand through his crimson locks.
"Hey Tae"
Taehyung smiled, reaching a hand out in which Jimin took gratefully before being heaved up. The crimson haired male immediately placed a tiny kiss on the other's lips, arms winding sround the younger's waist. Taehyung's arms, s around his neck by reflex, as he returned the kiss, smiling goofily with red dusting his cheeks.
"What was that kiss for, Chimothy?"
Jimin grinned, placing another kiss, this time on Taehyung's temple as he watched his eyelids flutter close, lips slowly stretching into a sweet smile.
"Nothing...I just wanted to remind myself that my bestfriend is finally mine" he said, and Taehyung blushed brightly. The younger averted his eyes, a beautiful shade of pink dusting his cheeks.
"I was always yours, Chimothy" the other mumbled, nibbling on his bottom lip and Jimin chuckled.
A sudden thought from the past popped up on his head.
"Hey Tae..." Jimin started, leaning back slightly to catch the other's entrancing features. Taehyung hummed, staring directly into his eyes and ajimin absolutely melted at the puppy eyed look Taehyung was sporting.
"Yeah?" Taehyung tilted his head, arms still wrapped around Jimin's neck. Jimin smiled.
"You remember that promise? When we were young?"
Taehyung seemed to ponder about it for a few moments before recognition flashed in his eyes and Taehyung smiled. So blidndingly beautiful.
"Yeah...I do"
And Taehyung, outstanding, ethereal, lovable Kim Taehyung; smiles so softly before leaning in and kissing Jimin's lips. Jimin wasted no time in kissing back.
It was supposedly sweet and short, but somehere between the intimate kiss, Jimin began to move his lips and tongue, prying open Taehyung's mouth and slipping his tongue in the other's sweet cavern.
The other moaned softly, and the kiss soon became heated. Nevertheless it never lost its original meaning; Love, Rapture, Mine, Mine, Mine-
And as Taehyung broke the kiss, a single spider trail of saliva connecting their tongues, he bonked their heads together. Breathless and panting, they stared intimately at each other's eyes and Taehyung smiled.
"I remember your promise. How could I forget? You kept it"
---
I remember when I said I'd always be there
Ever since we were ten baby.
---
A/N: Going to be completely honest, I forgot I finished this about two weeks ago and it justlaid forgotten, all lonely in my Ipad. Also, I am an avid taekook shipper and I really hate myself for doing this.I'm going to go to the bin now. Also, the song Jimin sang for Taehyung is from Against the Current, Dreaming Alone. So all credits go to them.
Comments