*This is dedicated to all the broken hearted blackjacks! BJs fighting!*

 

 

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"Hi everyone! Congrats with the great show!" A voice with overwhelming happiness greeted the whole crew who made the concert a success. Her rainbow and sunshine aura were detonated all over the room that instantly lit my face. It was as if bomb of warm fuzzies was planted in bliss. She walked pass where I was standing as I deeply mumbled, "hey." 

    "Oh, hey!" She bowed down and met my gaze. Her eyes held constellation within them. I was caught among her stars and I felt like wishing upon. It was breathtaking indeed.      "I told you! You are the bias of the crowd!" She punched my arm with her tiny fist, leaving an electric current through my veins. I smirked and rolled my eyes to hide how I felt. "Yeah I know that already. I'm the most handsome between the five of us. So I'm expecting that,"     I still couldn't believe time flew fast. Two years had gone after that incident and I have nothing to regret. The deed for her was nothing but a horrible mistake, while that was... the most beautiful sin I've ever done.      We're forever awkward towards each other but we somehow managed to get closer. Closer in a sense that we no longer do an open ended conversation and we could talk for more than five minutes, though silence is still there once in a while.      "Tss..." She twitched and narrowed her eyes as she escaped my stare. Our distance were like only a half meter but felt last like she's cosmos away from me. Her lip biting was painful to watch that I couldn't help but imagine it was pressed against mine. "Even if you conduct a poll later in our after party and ask all of the guests, I'm definitely the most attractive In Bigbang!" I discreetly announced as I combed my blonde hair through my fingers.      "Nah, for Dara's eyes, I'm the ultimate definition of being handsome." Jiyong abruptly chimed in our conversation as his arms secured her, proclaiming his victory. His hands gripped her waist and pulled her closer to him as if he was protecting his property. The sight made me want to commit suicide.      "Right baby girl?" He leaned closer, as if he needed her lips more than he needed air and he let himself taste her within a fraction of second.     Sigh. It was suffocating.      *     The cold mist meandered through the air conditioner unit that emerged my body into my own sober thoughts and realized I fell asleep for fifteen minutes. The 'after party' will be half an hour from now and I concluded my other members were changing stylish clothes, taking showers and doing their best to look good but I'm really not in the mood for this late night celebration. Im exhausted as .      Weak knocks were soon heard as I convinced myself that I deserve more sleep and tried to go back in my slumber. "Seunghyun?" An angel gracefully caressed my name through her lips. I felt that this dream was so real that I instantaneously hopped out of bed as I hugged the blanket to cover my ness.      Kidding. I'm wearing a turquoise robe.      "What the? What the hell are you doing here?"     "You left the door open, so..." Her shadow was stretched from the door up to where I was standing as my heart had its unbelievable hard pumps as if it wanted to break my ribs and escape my body to make a cartwheel all over the room.      "Does... Uhm... Jiyong know you're here?" I stuttered.      "Nope."     "Just that... He might..." I mumbled but cannot finish my words. Glitters were twinkling on her eyes as I was mesmerized with her enslaving stare. I was magnetized towards her as my feet involuntary moved to her direction. I just found myself standing still with her as I forced myself not to hug her tight. No Seunghyun, you are not allowed to touch her or something! I momentarily regained my sanity and uttered, "Uhmm... Never mind. So what is it?"     "A fan gave me this in the lobby when I bumped into her. She said to please give it to you. It's kinda heavy," she showcased a 400% Medicom Bearbrick. The dry carbon model was pitch black perfect, which was almost comparable to my soul. After my very uninterested scanning of the toy, my sight went north as I found her grinning wickedly.      "I already have that piece. What am I gonna do with that?" Her smile faded as I went back to my glorious king sized bed and slumped my on the corner.      "Jeez, you're so mean. This is a limited edition for Pete's sake! Like almost two thousand USD and to think that a fan bought this stupid toy of yours and you're not gonna appreciate it? You are... argggg!" She lost it. Actually, she's fuming mad but her grimaced face was enough for me to make my stomach produce more butterflies as they tried their way out with my heart were slowly in the verge of aptness. She looked beautiful even in her state of wrath mess.      "I really wonder why people love you so much. I mean, you get everything you want but can't even be grateful just for once," she continued but I was too caught with the fact that we are in the same room, it was just me and her. It was more than satisfying.      "You're hopeless," she gave up as she turned her back. Wretched with her leaving, I promptly held her arm in no time and opposed whatever she's thinking. I turned her around and leisurely took the toy off of her hand, our skin slowly touching one another as small electric current immediately made me back off a little.     How could I be this terrified of this goddess? How coward am I? .      "Happy now?" I boringly ask with straight face, not showing any of my emotions. Just plain, cold, rude T.O.P, the image I smeared on her eyes. "Tss... You know, I should be the one saying that to you." She raised her hands as her soft cold palms landed on my cheeks that it eventually turned scarlet with the shock. She stretched the corner of my lips far from each other as my teeth forcedly showcased. "Just smile, you don't own the problems in the world."     I was frozen on the spot, hands and feet felt so heavy as if I wanted to collapse with her touch. She smirched my manliness as my hot red face couldn't fight the sentiments of my heart as I swiftly moved away and placed the bearbrick on the bedside table, with me smiling like an idiot. "You don't know what I'm going through," I deeply distressed, trying to be serious again but my lips automatically curved again.      Damn heart, calm down please!     "Really?" She shrugged while looking down, fiddling her fingers. She might haven't seen the smile I plastered earlier. Good! I wasn't aware that she sat at the edge of the bed. My God, what is she even doing? How did she got near me without giving a warning? I thought I'm cold enough to create a wall.      Geez, what do I really want? I don't want her to leave because that hurts as but I don't want her too close to me neither for I know my demons well.      Silence.