*Finally, I'm able to do an update, but sorry for not being able to post a fan art yet, I'll let the remaining final exam and practical test to finish in able to get my imagination run in full operations. I've done some, but I don't have scanner at home so I'll try to improve it before posting here. =)

*Almost two weeks before graduation... but I'm still not sure what to feel.

*Enjoy!

His lips were trembling from the freezing temperature, and despite of the thick clothes he’s wearing, he felt his body go numb from the cold. He wasn’t sure if how long had he stayed there, waiting for something that would never return.

Looking at the frozen lake and at the snow-covered weeping willows, he felt like crying yet no tear falls out. His heart was beating in a rapid pace and his breathing was already ragged. Despite of all the discomfort he couldn’t bear to walk away and not look back, he could never leave something that he had dreamed all his life. No, it was not any of his riches or his lands, he’s not living because of it.  it was for a single heart that could never be his.

And as he heard his name being called softly, the voice like gentle caress calling out to him, he walked straight towards it without looking anywhere else. Even as he stepped on the frozen waters, he didn’t hold back. Even as he heard the first crack signifying that it won’t hold for longer, he didn’t stop.

And even when he felt his self falling towards the cold and dark waters, and he heard the voice fading away, all he did was smile and sigh in contentment, as if iit was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard, and will ever hear.

“What kind of a tale is that? I’ll never listen to that again. That’s boring than the word boring itself.”

Sungjong just huffed in annoyance and placed his palms near the blazing fireplace again to fight the coldness of winter. It was already late in the evening and all they did was to tell horror stories to each other, and his last one was of a well-known tale of a failed love in the area where they’ll be staying for the night.

They were supposed to be at Sunggyu’s resort already, to work there during the winter break as staff and performers, to earn money that they could use for projects or emergency purposes now that they’re graduating in college.

But the weather seems to hinder their trail, thus the situation.

 “How could you say that to such a sad story?”

“Well, obviously that is not a horror story, not even a bit.”

“But isn’t it scary?”

“In what part is that even scary?”

“When he waited for days, without thinking about his self, his safety and the life he left. Despite of knowing that she’ll never come back anymore, he waited. Isn’t that scary? Being left alone and not knowing what direction to take anymore. To be left hearbroken and lose your own reason to keep on living.”

His companion hearing such serious words from his best friend’s lips, took his attention away from the mug of hot chocolate and focused on Sungjong who’s already all curled up like a ball, head buried on his arms placed on his knees.

Realizing what just happened, Myungsoo scooted closer and gently placed his arm around the boy’s shoulders.

“This is not just about that boring love story, isn’t it? I told you not to think about that stupid girlfriend of yours who-”

“Who left me for someone better? Someone who could protect her for sure? Someone she could proudly show off to her friends and family?”

He wanted to defend his friend, to boost his confidence up yet Myungsoo felt choked, and no matter how much he tries to, he felt his tongue caught on his throat.

“You don’t need to feel sorry. That’s the truth anyways, and I couldn’t blame her. Compared to that diamond of a man, I’m nothing but a plain rock.”

“Don’t say that about yourself, you know that you’re much more than that.”

The fire was still blazing yet they just felt colder, not because of the temperature but of their distance from what they want to have but could never reach.

And by this time, Sungjong was already sobbing hard that he didn’t see the other’s arms about to envelop him in an embrace. He then thought, that maybe, he’s not going away for the part-time job but for the sake of not seeing her. Because he knows, once he caught sight of her, he’ll just make a fool of himself, running after someone who would never stop to wait for him again.

Because he knows, after all the pain she caused him, he could never stop loving her all of a sudden.

 “Sungjong, it’s okay to admit that you’re not fine. It’s okay to cry it all out. But never think that you could be easily left like that because you’re one of the persons who deserve to be loved the most.”

“Am I a coward? Was it wrong to let her go that easily? I can’t… I just can’t accept it so easily. We were supposed to spend these free days together. But I should have seen it coming when she started to grow fond of that co-member in the drama club. I’m such an idiot.”

Myungsoo didn’t say another word, and decided to just tighten the hug. He was never a great talker, and it was Sungjong who’s got the ability to calm him down or lighten up his mood, but it was the other way around. And if he couldn’t help through that, he’ll settle with giving his best friend warm hugs he could never say no to.

“Let’s just go to sleep, since it looks like this storm wouldn’t end soon. And I’ll sleep beside you so don’t try to snore, that’ll be good.”

“Yah! I don’t snore and-”

“Why, have you tried listening to yourself while you’re asleep? See? I’m the one who gets waken up by that so this time, try not to snore Jongie.”

“Eeey, don’t call me that nickname, that’s just gross coming from you.”

Seeing and hearing his best friend, the one who’s not in pain, who’s not mourning over failure of a love life, Myungsoo’s lips tugged on both sides forming a genuine smile that didn’t go unnoticed by his best friend who immediately stopped from giving playful punches towards the other.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

Now he’s smiling as well, but there’s a hint of being hollow that Myungsoo knows he couldn’t change at the moment. He knows it would take long before that scar totally heal.

“Well, anything for my precious best friend.”

“Then… that means I don’t snore.”

“Yes you do, unfortunately.”

“No, I don’t!”

“Yes you really do, and stop shouting or I’ll lock you out.”

“Yeah right, as if you could do that.”

Myungsoo just laughed, louder this time, and quickly ran towards their shared bedroom. And before he could react, Sungjong saw that his best friend stick to his words about locking him out and he ended up pounding on the wooden door before it was opened ajar slightly and he was pulled inside by a giggling Myungsoo.

The night was cold, but it was much better with each other’s presence.

--

Looking at the now peaceful figure, he slowly reached out his hand, wanting to caress those cheeks flushed red from the cold. He wanted to move closer to see how long those eyelashes were, to see those marks on the skin that he hasn’t discovered yet.

But before he could do anything of what he had wanted to do all this time, he stopped, hand dangling just inches away from the sleeping boy’s face.

He didn’t want to listen to the tale of the man who was left and was lost, not just because he knows it’s a painful experience of his best friend, but because it tells of his own tale as well. Something that he would never want to let Sungjong know.

That until today, at this very minute, of him listening to the other’s deep breathing, he’s still waiting.

That despite of knowing that he lives for a single heart that could never be his, he’s still waiting.

Despite of hearing it coming from the other’s mouth, of how much he cherishes her and their memories together, he’s still waiting.

And despite of knowing all of these, he’s still falling deeper into the dark and cold waters without trying to escape at all.

*Here's angst, 'cause my love for the genre is calling out to me. I'm sorry for creating another broken myungjong. =(

*Let's spread the myungjong love, 'right everyone?

#spazzing.alone.over.myungjong