EPILOGUE: DON'T LOOK BACK

Jinyoung’s shoulder was about ready to fall asleep. Mark had come over for the afternoon, and in spite of repeated hints that they both wanted him gone, BamBam had hung around trying to rope Mark into conversation after conversation about whatever was on his mind―the latest hip-hop group he was into, how hungry he was, the classic car he and Yugyeom had seen when taking a walk yesterday. They’d given in and started watching a movie together since going to Mark’s room wasn’t an option―Jackson had friends over playing Playstation who were planning on staying over for the night― so they could at least have some excuse to cuddle on the bed and tone down BamBam’s enthusiastic talking. As it turned out, Mark had only managed to last through the first five scenes of the crime thriller BamBam had picked out before dozing off while snuggled against Jinyoung’s shoulder. Jinyoung didn’t know how he was capable of it. The movie was loud, for one, and actually pretty interesting considering that the revenge plot was amounting in a whole slew of dead bodies, and BamBam certainly wasn’t keeping things quiet on his side with all his constant shouting out of things like “Oh my god, did you see that?” when a character wound up violently stabbed or pushed off a building to their death. But Mark was good at carving out a spot of peace for himself no matter what else was going on around him, so Jinyoung wasn’t too surprised that he was managing to rest well in that sense. It was a trait he even envied, at times.

He didn’t mind the close proximity at all, or the fact that Mark had fallen asleep holding onto his hand. He did mind the sleep part. Even if they weren’t talking to each other and just watching a movie, he’d prefer to have Mark awake and playing with his fingers like he always did, or sneaking glances at Jinyoung when BamBam wasn’t looking. Mark being asleep didn’t stop Jinyoung from clinging to him when things got too violent, but he didn’t like that Mark wasn’t doing anything more than grumbling in his sleep in response.

“Oh, holy!” BamBam yelled as one of the characters got their hand blown off by some sort of hyper powered military gun. Jinyoung couldn’t stop himself from going into a full body wince, which accidentally jerked Mark’s head off his shoulder. That, at last, woke Mark up. “What the-?” he looked at the screen, wrinkling his nose. “What the hell happened?”

Jinyoung and BamBam both ignored him as the gun battle fully erupted. Jinyoung covered his eyes partially with his free hand, and BamBam sat there gaping. Mark seemed unbothered, probably being used to worse from Hollywood, and rested his head back on Jinyoung’s shoulder. This time, even as distracted as he was by the violence going on onscreen, Jinyoung was happy to note that Mark was playing with his fingers again, now that he was fully awake.

They’d been dating for two months now, the happiest two months of his life by far. It had honestly taken some getting used to, sharing a lunch table with love birds Jaebum and Youngjae, especially since it was difficult to reconcile Jaebum’s normal attitude with the guy who was sickeningly doting on Youngjae. As far as being a new couple themselves went, Jinyoung and Mark had the benefit of being able to feel perfectly comfortable with each other, but some things still took some getting used to. Jinyoung had to restrain himself from yanking Mark away from Jackson, who hadn’t seen any reason to give up constantly groping Mark just because he and Jinyoung were dating now, and Mark still struggled with convincing himself that Jinyoung really wasn’t interested in Jaebum anymore. But all in all, it hadn’t taken them that long to fall even more with the whole being in love thing. Jinyoung loved being with Mark, and in spite of being a reserved person, Mark really wasn’t with him. His affection was one of the most liberal parts about him, and he wasn’t at all shy about giving it; there really was never a moment when Jinyoung didn’t feel how loved he was.

Now, for example. The story was reaching a heartbreaking conclusion, and although he felt tempted to join BamBam in his wailing, he was a bit too caught up in the fact that Mark was doodling hearts into his palm with his finger. He still loved doing that, whenever they were in places they couldn’t talk. He mainly wrote in English, which drove Jinyoung crazy because he wanted to know what he was saying, but if he argued it with him, Mark would just drive him even more crazy by putting his lips against Jinyoung’s palm and mouthing the words in English instead. If he was truly evil, he’d use his tongue, and Mark proved to be just that evil on more than one occasion.

After BamBam had finished his emotional outburst and subsequent lecture about how he would have handled the main character’s revenge plot, Mark unceremoniously kicked him out.

“Go hang out with Yugyeom or something.”

“What? Why?”

“I want to enjoy my boyfriend without you watching?”

BamBam turned red and threw a pillow at them. “As if going to Yugyeom’s would help. If Jaebum and Youngjae are there…”

“Then go hang out outside.”

“It’s getting cold.”

“Then go to a PC Bang or something. Or go bother Jackson.” Mark wiggled his eyebrows. “Or, I guess we could just pretend you’re not here…”

BamBam quickly grabbed Mark’s ripboard, which was parked by the door, and bolted out of the room.

“We should really set him up with Jackson,” Mark muttered. “That would solve all our problems.”

“And probably cause a hundred new ones.”

“Mmm.” Mark dropped the subject as quickly as he’d brought it up, snatching Jinyoung’s lips up in a very thorough kiss now that BamBam was gone. It drove him crazy how good Mark was, literally making his knees feel weak even when he wasn’t standing up, but he didn’t bother asking how he knew what to do so well. They both seemed to have equivalent experience-- not a whole lot, in other word-- but Mark thus far seemed to have the upper hand when it came to knowing him. As he was often reminded of, Mark had liked him for several months longer, most of them spent admiring from afar rather than actually talking to him. But Mark was an observant person and apparently saw Jinyoung as a fairly open book when it came to his tastes and preferences, so he’d picked up quite a bit. He knew Jinyoung liked being hugged, that he was bad at hiding reactions, that he liked sharing control, that he liked teasing. A lot of the things he knew, Jinyoung hadn’t even realized about himself.

But he was learning about Mark, as well. Mark liked being spoiled and touched, Mark could be cute just as well as stoic, Mark loved making him flustered, and Mark especially hated to lose. Most amusingly, Mark like being needed by him; if someone else demanded more of his attention, especially Jaebum or Jackson, he’d instantly turn pouty and contrive ways to get his attention back. Not that Jinyoung minded him pouty. He was just as good to kiss that way as not.

It was all exciting. He liked not knowing everything about Mark yet, because that meant there was plenty more to find out. And he doubted he could ever get sick of the feeling of Mark kissing him. He loved connecting with him and feeling his heart beat pulsing against his chest. He loved that with everything he was doing, Mark was showing him a new side of himself.  

 
Mark pulled away for a moment, smiling cutely. “I love you, you know that?”

And that was what he loved most of all: that whenever he heard those words, his whole heart reacted, filling with something beautiful and indescribable, something only those words could do to him, something only loving and being loved could put there.
He waited a half second, just to see the look on Mark’s face, the joy at seeing how happy Jinyoung was mingled with hope that it wasn’t just him in love, the way it had started. Even though he already knew. There was no way he could be looking into Jinyoung’s eyes and seeing everything there and not know.

Jinyoung took Mark’s hand and pressed it against his lips. “I love you,” he murmured in English. “Always.”

A/N: Thank you so much for reading and commenting, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as Ienjoyed writing it. XOXOXO