Jungkook remembers the good old days.

When his cheeks were still round, plump and almost always covered in a faint pink flush, how he would run all day in the blazing sun and it was endless, the heart felt laughter and bright smiles, alongside a brunette boy with hair too long and lips too pink. It’s much later when Jungkook is eleven, as boyish and stubborn as ever, does he find out the boy is wearing lip gloss, has been for the five years that they’ve known each other, but it’s two years later when he finally questions why the other boy’s nails are always painted, a bright, bubblegum pink or a mellow lavender. All he gets is an uncomfortable shrug, some foot shuffling, and all out avoidance of the topic in question, so he doesn’t question it again for another three years.

“What’s wrong with you? Why are your nails always painted and why do you wear makeup?-“ Jungkook wants to add that men don’t do that, but he’s just a mere sophomore in high school so he’s technically not a man yet and also the look Taehyung gives him screams hurt, so he cuts himself off.

“You don’t want to be my friend anymore?”  Taehyung asks and it’s just a murmur, so the younger has to lean in slightly to hear it. The elders bright red lip gloss is smeared at the edges, but that’s not what this is about.

“Why do you always do that? Why do you always deflect the question? I never said I don’t want to be your friend anymore. I’m asking why you’re like this-“

“Like what?-“ Taehyung cuts in, eyes narrowed and Jungkook wishes it wouldn’t be this way, the lines being cut so clearly, so quickly.

“This” The younger spits, equally riled up as he motions towards the elder furiously, “Wearing lip gloss, painting your nails, why are you-“

“Say it, Jungkook” Taehyung prompts, and Jungkook doesn’t hesitate.

“-Such a freak”

There’s a small pause afterward, in which Taehyung’s eyes are tightly clenched shut as if maybe he can’t see then it won’t hurt so much, that maybe it’s a dream, having Jungkook say these things, look at him this way, but when he opens his eyes, nothing has changed, not the disgust marring the younger’s pale features or how tightly his fists are clenched, body shaking in anger.

It hurts.

His chest constricts painfully, and his heart feels like it might fall from his chest, but he still manages a small smile, albeit wobbly and sapped in misery, his mascara running and mixing with his smeared lip gloss as he turns and walks away from Jungkook, from ten years of friendship, from a newfound and a now desecrated love.

Whenever Jungkook looks back on such a fragile moment, he always questions, why? Why didn’t he call out to Taehyung or try to stop him from walking away? He never quite understood why he just stood there angry, bitter and so wrong, he still doesn’t understand to this day, but the past is the past and Jungkook is only here for the present.

So, he listens with mild interest to whatever Jimin is droning on about. He had tuned the elder out after he started going on about the upcoming game, because Jungkook isn’t really into sports, but attends the games sometimes to support Jimin and Yoongi.

“-Jungkook, are you even listening to me?” Jimin glares at the younger.

“What?” Is the mumbled reply as Jungkook blinks blankly at him.

“Nothing” The elder mumbles, not quite offended at the younger’s tendency to space out, two years of friendship made him more than used to Jungkook’s quirks.

“I’m sorry I-“

Jungkook is not quite sure what happens next, but he’s splayed out against a locker, a figure pushed against his chest. His back hits the locker with a loud bang and the collision with the other person successfully winds him. The entire hallway is staring at this point, as he groans, rubbing adamantly at his back. All he can see is the other person’s honey, windswept curls as they back away slowly, head ducked.

He’s not quite sure if it’s a boy or a girl, because their nails are painted and a pastel floral printed shirt hangs loosely on their tiny frame as they clutch a miniature yellow purse, and a sweet cotton candy smell had invaded his senses upon the collision. He watches the brunette back away, ready to turn and scurry when a dark haired boy approaches, face pulled in a scowl as he scuffs the other by their collar, tugging them harshly to the ground.

“Aren’t you going to apologize you freak?” The boy spits, shoving the brunette further onto the ground while his cronies snicker in the background.   

Jimin approaches him with a concerned look etched on his usually playful features, but Jungkook just brushes him off, watching as the taller boy he recognizes as Kevin Shin, grabs a fist full of the honey haired persons curls as they whimper and struggle fruitlessly. One of his cronies emerges from the crowd, grabbing the brunnete’s purse.

“Let’s see what’s in here” He sneers, rummaging through the yellow fabric and throwing everything to the floor, money, what looks like an ID, and everything else. A few of the other boys sweep the money up and shove it in their pockets, jeering at their victim all the while.

Jungkook, having finally had enough of watching, brushes past Jimin, all eyes darting toward him as he approaches. Kevin glances at him from under his bangs, regarding him with a smile too friendly for someone visibly forcing someone to their knees. Jungkook doesn’t return it, instead he crouches down to get a better look at the person being forced down. They avoid his gaze for a while, but then he reaches a hand out, a little shaky but steady, lifting their chin up with ease.

What greets him are the most beautiful pair of sparkling brown eyes he’s ever seen, lined with thick, copious amounts of eyeliner, mascara rimmed lashes, dusting over pink, flushed cheeks, but Jungkook is not entranced, not by any means. In fact, he’s horrified, especially when his eyes dart down to see plush lips covered in a shiny pink substance.

He flinches back then, as if burned, but Taehyung doesn’t look remotely fazed, staring adamantly back at him despite Keivn’s unwavering hold on the sensitive flesh of his neck.

“I said, apologize” Kevin reiterates, yanking Taehyung’s golden strands with enough force to make even Jungkook wince.

Jungkook doesn’t really want an apology though, he just really needs to get away from Taehyung and the looming crowd, because now the hallway seems so much more suffocating than before. So he stands, backing away slowly because for some reason he can’t seem to look away at the fearlessness that sparks in Taehyung’s eyes as Kevin and his crew brutally attack him, stomping, kicking, and punching him until he’s a bloody mess. Their eyes never stray from each other, not even when Kevin stomps violently on his stomach making him cough up enough blood to pool out of his mouth, but he’s staring at Jungkook and the void in the elder’s gaze makes him shiver.

It’s horrible, but Jungkook can’t feel anything, not even the pats on the shoulder’s from his peers as he passes them, asking if he is okay even though he’s not the one being brutally beaten in the hall. A sob works its way up his throat, but nothing comes out and briefly, he holds back a scream, until he’s saved from his nightmare by Jimin, who shoves him down the hall roughly, but he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have to, because the thing is, Jungkook understands, sadly.

“Jungkook- whatever you saw back there? Just forget it okay?-“ Jimin stumbles and stutters over his words as Jungkook collapses to the ground in the abandoned classroom. He sighs then, a look of uncertainty marring his features and Jungkook can’t help but think that somberness doesn’t quite suite the elder, the situation is all too real though, but he nods nonetheless, glancing down at his hands.

They’re shaking.