Strangers

                                                    Don’t be so comfortable like that
                                                    Because we’re still strangers...

When you were ten your school decided to organise for your class to have weekly swimming lessons. You were so excited, you’d always wanted to swim but of course your mother, who worked two jobs at this time, didn’t have the extra time needed to teach you. And your Dad, who was still alive, was deep in the throes of alcoholism so you didn’t dare ask him. The costs of the lessons however, were kind of steep for your family. You nervously asked your mother if there was any chance at all that they could be paid for and because the lessons weren’t starting for another month she agreed to put money away every week towards paying for them. You were over joyed; you rarely got any treats like that. You missed out on most school trips either because you couldn’t pay or because you were kept at home to make sure your dad didn’t drink himself to death. As if you could have stopped him, he had no problem using physical force when alcohol was involved.

As soon as your mother agreed you ran next door to Seunghyun’s place and knocked delicately on the door in case his Mother answered. Sometimes if you were lucky it would be his Dad who was surprisingly a lot nicer. Thankfully however Seunghyun was the one to answer. He was thirteen and despite being taller than you he had a round, cute baby face and didn’t look that much older than you.

His eyes lit up when he saw you and his face broke out in a grin.

‘’Hey kid, what brings you here?’’

Your sandals clacked nosily against the ground as you jumped up and down excitedly in front of him.

‘’Mommy agreed to pay for swimming! I’m going to learn how to swim!’’

He clapped his hands together enthusiastically.

‘’Well done! I knew you could convince her, who can say no to a face like that?’’

He pinched your cheek and you giggled ecstatically.

It was one of those rare times in your life when you felt genuinely happy over something not relating to Seunghyun. This was something you’d manage to attain for yourself without him getting involved and helping you like always. You were so proud and you truly felt like you were growing up.

Then of course, things quickly screwed up.

One night a few days before your lessons were set to begin, your Dad was storming around the place looking for money to buy a drink. Your mother had been hiding the money away in a box under the bed so that your Dad wouldn’t find it. But she’d forgotten how horrible he could be when he had gone too long without alcohol. It wasn’t long before he got really nasty so you gave in and gave him all the money. Your mother tried to stop you but you couldn’t bear it any longer. You could go without the lessons, you spent most of your life going without most things anyways.

So on the day lessons were set to begin, you went to school like normal, spent the day listening to your classmates get excited over swimming, then at the end of the day instead of getting on the bus to the local pool, you walked home with Seunghyun.

He looked perplexed when he saw you walk out to him at the school gates.

‘’Why aren’t you on the bus?’’

You said nothing and looked at the ground.

‘’Come on , tell Oppa what’s up.’’

You looked up at him and your face scrunched up as you started bawling.

‘’I couldn’t pay for swimming’’ you wailed ‘’Daddy took the money.’’

Seunghyun looked furious for a moment but he quickly changed his expression to one of kindness as he grabbed the end of his shirt and used it to wipe your wet tear stained face.

‘’Don’t cry _________, it’s alright. I’ll make it better, I always do right?’’

‘’You can’t make it better’’ you sniffed ‘’All the money is gone.’’

Seunghyun frowned in consternation as he tried to think of something then his eyes widened as if a lightbulb went off in his head.

‘’I know what to do.’’

You looked at him unconvinced.

‘’What?’’

He just tapped his nose with his finger before grabbing your hand and dragging you in the opposite direction from your way home.

You were incredibly confused as to where he was taking you as he led you towards an area that was enshrouded in trees and grassland. There was a little path at the entrance that you both followed deep into the undergrowth. You pressed close to Seunghyun as you’d never been there before and were a little afraid.

‘’Oppa, where are we going….’’

You trailed off as the path ended and you were both stood in front of a large watering brook. It was the most beautiful thing you’d even seen. The water was so clear that the sun which broke through the tree tops reflected brightly off it and you could see fish darting along in all directions.

‘’Wowwww’’ you murmured ‘’I didn’t know this place existed.’’

Seunghyun smiled proudly.

‘’Not many people do, I come here sometimes when I ditch school.’’

You slapped his arm.

‘’That’s naughty Seunghyun.’’

He stuck his tongue out at you before he started ing his school shirt.

‘’Just get in the water kid, if you can’t go to the pool, we can bring the pool to you.’’

You smiled and quickly pulled off your grey pinafore, shirt and socks, leaving only your vest and pants on. Seunghyun discarded everything but his underwear and his body, still a little chubby with puppy fat, looked soft and healthy. He was on the precipice of becoming a teenager but was still very much a child.

He took your hand in his and you both ran gleefully into the water, screaming as the cold water enveloped your bodies. You both laughed hysterically as you splashed water at each other and playfully tried to shove one another over. Seunghyun could easily pick you up and throw you around.

After a while you both collapsed back onto the soft grassy earth that surrounded the brook and tried to catch your breaths.

‘’Thank you Oppa’’ you said ‘’I’m so happy.’’

‘’I said I’d make it better didn’t I? I always do.’’

In the end you didn’t do much learning, you both just played and enjoyed creating another happy memory that only the two of you would share.   At that time you never thought your relationship with Seunghyun could ever change. You never once considered that maybe someday, he would end up hating you.

X                                                                                                             X                                                                                                                    X

The sudden shock of ice cold water hitting your face forces you out of your sleep as you jump up gasping. You pat your face and your eyes fly in all directions looking for the source of the water. What if the apartment upstairs has a leak? You couldn’t afford to pay for any damages if the roof above caved in.

Then as the shock wears off you realise you’re not in your apartment, but in an unfamiliar room. And when you turn to your left you see an unhappy looking Seunghyun, clad in a tight fitted black sweater, glowering down at you, a half empty water bottle in his hand.

His face brings back the memories of last night and the reality of what happened begins to sink in. You put your face in your hands as you remember Seunghyun beating up Byungho and how he’d managed to bring you back here. This is very bad, so very very bad.

‘’I tried to wake you up all day but you weren’t budging.’’ He says ‘’So I figured this might work.’’

You drop your hands from your face and glare at him.

‘’Yeah right. I bet you enjoyed doing it.’’

He shrugs ‘’I guess I’m not complaining.’’

Your face reddens as you start boiling with rage. Does he not realise just how much he’s gone and messed up your life? The life you spent so long building for yourself after he abandoned you. How dare he treat you like this? He should be on his knees grovelling for your forgiveness!

You rub your face with your sleeves and laugh dryly.

‘’I don’t remember you being such a jerk. In fact, the only thing I remember about you is your ability to walk out a door and never come back.’’

You look at him then to see his reaction and for a second he looks hurt. But he quickly hardens his expression again.

‘’You know I had to leave back then, don’t turn this around on me.’’

‘’You had to? Really? Well you know what Seunghyun, I’m happy for you. I’m glad you got to escape that hole before things truly went downhill. Congratulations.’’

He frowns ‘’What are you talking about?’’

‘’Nothing, forget it.’’

You pause for a moment to get your bearings. You’re still in your dress and you’re lying under a black duvet on a large double bed. The fact that you’re under it rather than splayed out on top of it suggests Seunghyun or someone cared enough to tuck you in. You’re not sure if its his room till you look around the grey wallpapered walls and see an Salvidor Dali painting on the wall and you’d laugh if you weren’t so angry at him. Seunghyun, despite being a rebel bad boy, always had an obsession with art and anything related to it. Including fancy furniture. The weird oval shaped chair in the corner attests to this.

‘’Well now that you’re awake, and hopefully not still off your head on drugs, it’s probably time we sit down and talk.’’

He nods to the end of the bed where a jumper and a pair of tracksuit bottoms are sitting folded up.

‘’I had my friend bring you clothes, get changed and come out when you’re ready.’’

You try to protest because you need to leave right now but he leaves and shuts the door behind him before you can say anything.

You sigh and kick the duvet off you. You might as well cooperate for now, if you argue with him it’ll only be harder for you to leave and get him off your back. You get up and as you take off your dress you look sadly at your feet. Your heels are long gone and you really loved them, they weren’t cheap either. You sigh even harder and pull on the clothes Seunghyun left. Despite how bland they look they are pretty comfortable and you feel just a miniscule bit better.

You go over to the mirror on the wall over his desk and inspect your complexion. You have serious smudged mascara panda eyes going on and your hair is quite messy. You rub your eyes with the back of your hand and pull the knots out of your hair with your fingers. It’s not as glamorous as your usual beauty routine but it will do.

You walk over to the door and grab the handle. You have to stop and take a deep breath to calm yourself. This is the first time the two of you will have talked properly in five years. Clearly a lot has changed, including the two of you. It’s not going to be like old times and you find that incredibly sad. You never thought Seunghyun would become a stranger to you when he was once the only person who knew you better than anyone else in the world.

You force yourself to open the door and walk into an incredibly fancy room. You stand in awe as you gawk at Seunghyuns apartment. It’s a bit bigger than yours, big enough that the kitchen and living area are separate rooms. You’re stood in the living area which is adorned with expensive looking leather furniture, a large plush white carpet in the centre on which an ebony veneered coffee table rests. There is also a massive flat screen tv secured on the wall.

You pad across the floor towards the kitchen entrance and poke your head in. It is a little smaller but is still pretty nice nonetheless. There’s even a roof to floor length wine rack next to the fridge. You find Seunghyun standing at the stove stirring what looks like ramen in a pot.

‘’Sit at the table, it’s almost ready.’’ He says without looking at you ‘’I hope pork ramen is okay.’’

‘’Uh yeah sure’’ you respond and take a seat at the small white table in the centre of the kitchen.

 Seunghyun quickly splits the ramen into two bowls and sets them with chopsticks on the table.

‘’Alright then’’ he says as he takes a seat in front of you ‘’Eat up.’’

Gingerly you reach for your chopsticks and begin eating, while sneaking glances at him every now and then. He eats with great earnest, slurping up the noodles loudly and devouring the meat before lifting the bowl to his mouth to drink the soup. You find yourself smiling as you realise that at least his appetite is one thing about him that hasn’t changed.

Seunghyun looks at you with a raised eyebrow as he takes the bowl away from his mouth.

‘’What are you smiling at?’’

‘’Nothing at all.’’

When you’re finished eating he gathers up the bowls and puts them in the sink.

‘’Go sit in the living room. I’ll bring tea.’’

‘’Oh alright then, thank you.’’

You’re so shocked at the effort he’s putting in. Back in your hometown, dinner with him wasn’t so formal. You’d both shovel down the food before collapsing on the floor and to watch tv. You rarely drank tea except on certain occasions when something distressing happened and you both needed something comforting to drink.

You go into the living room and sink down on the sofa. It really is as comfortable as it looks. Seunghyun soon follows carrying a tray with a small white teapot and matching tea cups. He sets it down on the coffee table and pours the tea into the cups before handing you yours.

‘’Thanks.’’ You say again ‘’I’m shocked at how fancy all of …this is.’’

He sits next to you and shrugs.

‘’It’s partly my roommates doing.’’

‘’Roommate? But…I thought you lived alone.’’

He shakes his head and points to a door at the other corner of the room which you didn’t notice earlier.

‘’That’s his room in there. But I do like to pretend I live alone, in fact I refer to this as my place. Jiyong’s just an add on.’’

‘’Jiyong? The guy in the car from last night?’’

Seunghyun nods ‘’Yep. We’re in the same gang but he’s a bit of a newbie and he’s around your age so I kind of took him in. His room is more like an over glorified closet.’’

You clench the tea cup tighter ‘’Gang?....you’re in a gang?’’

He looks at you as if you’re stupid.

‘’What? You really thought I came here and became successful enough to afford a place like this? You should know me better.’’

‘’That’s the thing’’ you say sadly ‘’I feel like I don’t know you at all.’’

Seunghyun sighs ‘’A lot has changed.’’

There’s a look in his eyes you’ve never seen before. It’s like an incredible emptiness has taken over who he used to be. He looks lost and it scares you.

‘’You look so different.’’ He says suddenly.

‘’What? Really?’’

‘’You look so much older… your hair is longer and you’re taller…although not by very much.’’

You frown ‘’Well you look different too. Since when do you cut your hair?’’

He smirks ‘’Since I realised long hair looks ridiculous on me. But anyways, we’re meant to be talking about you, just why are you in Ironacre?’’

 ‘’That’s a very loaded question.’’

‘’I have time to listen.’’

That’s when you remember, you don’t have time. You have to leave as soon as possible and find Byungho and grovel like your life depends on it. Which it probably does.

You finish drinking your tea and put it back on the tray and stand up.

‘’I’m sorry Seunghyun, but I need to leave and sort out this whole mess with Byungho. Maybe we can talk another time?’’

He grabs your arm and pulls you back down onto the sofa.

‘’No.’’

‘’No?’’ you ask incredulously ‘’I’m sorry but you stopped telling me what to do a long time ago.’’

You get back up but he pulls you back down again, this time with more force. He just looks at you with a stern expression on his face and its maddening.

You try to outsmart him by quickly jumping off the sofa in the opposite direction and bolting around the coffee table towards the door. But he’s faster and is already standing in front of the door, blocking your exit.

‘’You’re not leaving and you’re not going near that Byungho ever again, accept it and move on.’’

You completely lose it and start hitting your fists against his chest. Not that this will do anything but you’re just so angry and you need to exert your anger in some way.

‘’ you! You can’t do this! I need to go to him! He needs me! I’m his girl!’’

You sound ridiculous even to yourself but you can’t help it. Despite what Byungho did, you’ve been with him for a year now and after all those nights alone with him you can’t help but feel affection for him. Deep down you know he’s manipulative and cruel but you just aren’t ready to accept it.

Seunghyun looks furious at your words and without warning he bends and throws you over his shoulder. You trash about wildly in his arms as he carries you back into the bedroom. He locks the door behind him before throwing you unceremoniously onto the bed. You try to get back up but he’s jumped on top of you and is pinning your arms down.

‘’Let me go!’’ you wail as you kick your legs ‘’I have to go!’’

‘’He doesn’t care about you, you idiot! If you go back there he will kill you!’’

‘’Liar! You’re lying! You’re a liar Seunghyun. You told me I’d be okay and nothing was okay! Nothing will ever be okay again.’’

You stop kicking and just lie there crying your eyes out as if you were a little child again.

Through the tears in your eyes you can see how shocked Seunghyun is at your outburst. He loosens his grip and sits back while pulling you up with him till you’re in a kneeling position with your face pressed against his chest.

After a moment you pull away to look up at him.

‘’I hate you Seunghyun.’’

He grabs the end of his sweater and starts wiping away the tears from your eyes.

‘’Don’t worry Kid, I hate me too.’’

His voice is filled with a sadness so great that you feel physically sick. What happened to Seunghyun during those five years? And whats going to happen now that you’re together again?

The only thing you can say for certain is that neither of you will be living the life you dreamed of.