When I look back it was the people I cared about most deeply, that ended up hurting me the most. 

Tablo

What I'm trying to say is that I find myself crossing the line of being someone else. 

Is, is it really my own self I see in the mirror?

Or have I left myself and am I living as another person? Because compared to the times I've faced myself in the mirror, I spend more time facing people with this facade. So is my real self the person is it the ones smiling at others?  Or is it the person who spends their time bottled up in a shell.

There are a lot of times were I get confused and hurt. 

When I notice the changes around me, I notice the pain and the sorrow I caused people to suffer from. Was this really happening? I would usually think. 

Sometimes I would like to disappear from the crowd and society, to end my life so I could end the suffering I caused my loved ones. Sometimes, I would think that ending my life is the answer to all my troubles and what not. 

Life's confusing and painful

Versus

Death, who ends everything and leaves people at rest. 

When I look around I notice those who smile every single day, not worrying about a damn and just living life. 

Why can't I be like them?

Living with this condition takes all the freedom that I could have.