The dewy grass was soft upon my fingertips, but his hands in mine were softer. 

Minutes, seconds, a breath away, how much longer did I have? 

I didn’t want to let go, not now, not ever, really. I knew this wasn’t my decision, though. He could come and go, choose to stay with me, or choose not to. That’s what living is, and if I love him, I have to let him decide that for himself. 

I suppose it was obvious what he needed, even with those soft, tantalizing fingers laced through mine and his brandy eyes taking in every inch of me as if we could stay here like this forever. 

Baekhyun made things special like that. His touch like sweet honey, his words like satin for my mind, and his kisses, oh he kissed like he was giving me the moon. 

I would miss this. I would miss him. 

Maybe that’s why I asked him to stay even when I knew his answer would be:

“I’m sorry.” 

I gulped, not quite able to meet his eyes again, but not able to stray away. The wind was playing tag along the bare sides of our arms and the night sky was illuminating his silhouette with just enough light to make him seem even more ethereal than he already was. I scooted closer to his warmth and he wrapped me in his arms, his steady breathing pulsating through me like my favorite lullaby. 

“Don’t apologize,” I settled on. “I know you can’t stay here. You need to go home.” The words sounded unconvincing even from my ears, but I hoped he understood. 

“Home…” he whispered, looking up at the starlit sky. “Is that where home is now? I’m not so sure anymore.”

I frowned, because I didn’t want it to be, yet I knew it was the only home he had. Even if he could learn to accept our way of life, it wouldn’t be fair to him. “What do you mean?” I pressed on. “Your family is there, it’s where you grew up.”

His eyes locked with mine and as if he was saying I love you in the best way he could, he said, “But you won’t be there.” 

I gulped down the words that wanted to come fizzing out of me and did my best to look away. The moon, so bright and demanding, it’s beautiful, but will I always think of it that way? Even when he’s gone? 

Slim fingers gripped the edge of my chin, pulling me back in like they always did. He was closer this time, eyes furrowed in a kindling kind of intensity and lips just a breath away. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again. 

And then those lips of his were on mine, slow and soft and meaningful and full of love, just like him. 

The taste of sweetened salt fell upon my tongue and I wasn’t sure any longer which of us had shed them first. His warm arms traveled my body as to discover something new, caressing and leaving fingertip type kisses in all the dips and ceases of my skin. Soft locks of pale moonlit hair turned satin in the palm of my hand. 

I wanted to feel it forever and I think he did too. 

“Forget me.” He peppered along my jaw, a heavy heave wracking his chest and pillowing into mine. “Even though I can’t forget you, I won’t forget any of you.” My eyes squeezed shut against his blurred promise, our lips tangled together in a battle of trying to stay in place. “But I need to know that you’ll be happy. That you’ll find love again.” His light began to bubble up around us. I could feel the warmth of him shimmering, changing, surrounding me like he needed me to know that he was mine, always. 

“So, forget.” He pleaded one last time, his hands coming to cup my face. “I was only a starless night.”

“And if I can’t?” 

“Perhaps our next life will treat us better.” 

Light lips brushed the crown of my forehead like a final promise, and before my eyes had opened once more, he was gone. Gone, except for the orbs of warming yellow lights that floated up and joined the starlit sky. 

I suppose the moon is beautiful even when you’re alone.