Two years ago, I was 18. 

I was in community college for a bit before I had to medically withdrawal and I was also working but ultimately had to stop due to my medical. Ah, those were huge disappointments for me but I think I am okay now. 

I think I changed the most maturity wise. 

I was so deseparate to be in a relationship with someone and things like that. I was on dating apps, going out on dates and just trying to find "the one". It was something that kinda consumed me after I medically withdrew from school and also just was free. I picked some poor choices in guys and I was too blinded by my need of love to see those red flags and choices haha. 

I think I changed the most from that. Even though, I did seek out love and such when I was 19, it wasn't as intense. I also grew from being clingy to different guys and people in general. I kinda just grew this dependency upon myself vs other people. I learned to solve my own problems and be okay without talking to someone everyday for hours on end. I also changed my frame of thought on the world and life. 

I kinda had this "i don't care" mentality at 18 because I was so frustrated and depressed with things. Now I do care and make thoughts and decisions that are a bit less impulsive than I usually used to do. 

There also has been growth within my writing and such. I now aim for larger word counts and try to use more clear and concise language. I'm not saying my writing is the best but it has improved. My story Liasion will show that if you want to check it out haha. 

I also grew in the terms of getting rid of toxic people. I would keep toxic people around because I was always scared/sad to let go of people but I definitely had to let go of some toxic rpers this year and it honestly is for the better. You have to just let go of the people who hurt you, there's no use in keeping them around and honestly, don't even worry about what they say about you. You just have to keep on living life and doing what you want to do, y'know?

I think I also changed with how I deal with my depression.

At 18, it was very easy for me to just draw up plans of s****** and just think about dying everyday; I didn't do much to really help myself and I let myself get so low that it was ridiciously sad. 

At 20, I am still depressed but I am now reaching out for connections and finding things to be hopeful towards. I am not thinking of easily dying and letting myself sink low. I don't wish to go back to my lowest points because those spots are so hard to get out of.

I think I've become more positive and more forward in my thoughts and ideas. 

So I've changed quite a bit but there are more things I need to improve on. There are more things that can be done to make myself even more mature and happy. 

I am honestly just taking everything one day and step at a time. Hopefully we can all make positive changes and grow more in 2021. 

Day 22 of 30 done! I actually got an entry done before the dead of the night. I pat myself on the back for that. LOL, tomorrow's topic will be fun. I guess you'll be seeing my most favorite biases lmfao