...hum

I think it's come to that point where I'm actually feeling kind of...depressed. I know, it surprises me, too. But it's not even anyone else's fault, really. I'm just becoming heavily dissatisfied with myself and it's coming to that point where it should be scaring me, but...

It's not.

I should be concerned about the dangerous rate of weight loss, the startling bouts of headaches and increased need for sleep. I should be trying to live on something other than water and meager meals to do just enough to function. I should be living my life. I should be, at the very least, existing. 

I'm not doing either of these things.

I'm just...not growing up, apparently. I think, though, that I'm just tired of it, and just want to end it here. I don't want to age, grow up, push past, do anything. 

I simply just...acknowledge this.

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sooyeonnie11 #1
Maybe you haven't found a reason to live your life yet :))
Just wait ;) Don't give up just yet and 'try' to be happy :D
miikamikaa #2
Been there too. Still kinda am borderline depressive atm but I can tell you something. You can enjoy growing up and aging.
You can if you find something you enjoy doing that can serves you to reach a goal in life.
Try not to see only the dark side of being an adult but see it as a possibility to do things you couldn't before. You can do anything you want -that seems a bit delusional here I know- but you really can.
If my present self met my past self to tell all the things I've been doing lately I'd call myself crazy. If you think positively you can do good and when you do good you feel good or at least better.

The good thing here is you at least talked about it.
Amalya #3
Goodness. O.o I'm sorry to hear that things are so intense at the moment. That sounds like a difficult place to be in too. T_T I don't know if it's a matter of growing up, which certainly has it's pluses and minuses, but it's definitely something. I'm not sure how much good I could do, but if you need someone to talk to, I'd be happy to lend a listening ear.

Just take care of yourself my dear. That's the most important thing. <3
angelaziegler #4
Truly, I often feel exactly the same way.
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