So, Final exams finally ended.

So, a lot of crap, has happened.

*le sigh*

I wrote about this guy who looks like Kai on a blog before, and I guess you could say I had a small crush on him.

Well,

Apparently he has a girlfriend.

Man. I wanna be sad about it,

But it's my own fault.

You see, I'm actually a really awkward person. I find it hard to talk to people. Which is weird because normally in college, people go through this "breakthrough" where they become more social instead of their anti social self from before.

I guess it's the opposite when you're a social person xD

Well anyways, I could never find the courage to talk to him.

I honestly feel like if I was able to talk to him, I think we could have gone somewhere.

But no.

I no longer have the balls to do that kind of thing anymore.

So I'm trying so hard to not cry about it, but it's hard.

But im going to use this as my life lesson, or use this to go back to the way I used to think. My mentality that made me seem reckless, but I had no regrets.

If you want something to happen, make it happen yourself.

I can't be mad for him liking someone else, i never even tried.

I feel like, people should learn from my experiences.

I know talking to humans is like the worst thing in the world.

But if you want Oppa/Senpai to notice you, you gotta make that effort to talk to him.

Oppa / Senpai isn't going to notice you if you don't bother to talk them . It's not going to be a Drama/Manga encounter.

I'm going to get over this. It's going to be hard , but I know I can.

Well, I think what fixed my problem and practically stopped me from crying that night I found out , was one of the featured fanfics.

LOL.  yes . A fanfic stopped me from crying.

The Fanfic was , "Just When I thought I Was Over You"

Yes.

Because the author kept having Kai, lose the girl.

So I was all like, "YES. YOU . YOU DONT DESERVE HER. I HOPE YOU END UP FOREVER ALONE YOU ."

and that's what helped stop me from crying xD

I would put my actual thoughts, but then there would be major spoilers lol .

Also. My major is Travel Industry Management. this major, and what I want to concentrate on is Hospitality,  but more specifically Hotel Management.  In this job, there is a high rate for you to get "married" to your job. which basically means, you can't maintain or well it's very hard to maintain a relationship.

I think this incident has helped me realize my future, and it's actually,  kind of sad.

I really think I am going to marry my job. And won't have time for a relationship.  

And as someone who loves happy love stories, that makes me actually really sad. Like, you have no idea how much of a romantic person I am. Each one of my friends know how passionate I am about it xD I truly believe everyone has that one special person, you don't necessarily have to marry them, but they're the one.

I however, seeing how unsuccessful my love life has been, for like the last 4 years, I think it's fate that I will end up with my job.

it's the hardest facts I haven't been able to accept yet.

well, now that it's winter break,  I can finally finish Moonlight xD

I have it planned out (and so many people may hate me for it) but, I just have to write it.

Goals for Winter Break 2014

• Fanfics

  • Write out 10 Chapters of , Her Grandeur Life", post 5.

  • Finish, "Moonlight"

  • Finish, "A Christmas love story"

  • Work on 5 chapters of , "Scent of Cheese and Wine"

  • Brainstorm my new fanfic

    • Be very excited for this. It won't come out till probably summer. But it's gonna be freaking epic.

• K-Dramas

  • Finish Pinocchio

  • Start Misaeng. Apparently Kang Ha Neul is in it (according to my friend) and he's one of my favorite actors xD

• Animes

  • Catch up on Pokemon X&Y. I've been slacking so badly lol .

• R.L

  • Work like there's no tomorrow

  • Fix my sleeping schedule

  • Practice driving 運転を練習する

  • Practice Japanese.  日本語を勉強する

So these are my goals for break. Last year was to do something every day of break. I paid extremely heavy consequences since i came down with the worst cold ever right when school started.

So that first week everyone is making friends. I couldn't talk to anyone.

if anyone has been keeping up with SAO II , and would like to sob together over that ending, please let me knoww lol . 

Next year is going to be a very strange semester, for sure.

(This is going to be longer than I expected xD)

so anyways, next semester.

I'm not taking Japanese.

(Say whatttt????!?!?!)

It's the weirdest ever. I'm not kidding. I'm not even taking any classes that is related to Japanese.

(I can talk about this in another blog. It's more personal)

Also my "girlfriend" comes back ♥  she's been away for like ever on the mainland, because she's in culinary school. But she'll be back next semester ♡

hehehe.

and why is it so freaking cold in Hawaii?? D: it's like, 74 degrees Fahrenheit . wtfffffff . stop being cold Hawaii ;n;

(yes this is like freaking snuggle weather time to pull out the hot cocoa and snuggle up in warm blankets weather in Hawaii LOL don't look at me like i'm weird for freezing >.> )

lolol .

so I guess I should write Moonlight xD

kk byeeeeee~~~

Jamieee~ <3