The outmost reason why i'm doing this kind of confession is because i know here, no one know me... in fact, we are here because of our biases and we 're friends because of one reason, our love to KPOP... so i dont really understand either why i put my confession here. it would be great if there is any one of you guys could bear with this long story

so i was friend with this guy for about 4 years.. we are once called as lover but for some reason, we broke up and move with our own live. after some time, we contact each other and then after that till now, we're keeping in touch and honestly i'm comfortable with him more than any guys i've ever met except from my appa. maybe its became too comfortable till i couldnt feel anything towards him. i mean, a paasion.. we are tried to be a lover again. both of us agreed that we should tried but at the end it just useless...we couldnt feel anything towards each other.. but lately he keeps calling and saying the words 'i love you' and 'i miss you' to me... he will sulk when i'm not replying.. i just cant.. these words arent coming easily from my mouth like him and everytime we just ended up fighting. he is older by a year from me so shouldnt he more mature than me?  i dont know...

my heart always keep falling in love with any guys that treat me with kindness..ANY GUY...feels so . ugh..! 

but i'm never can develop same feeling for him..never..

lately i just feels like i need somebody, not just a chingu but a boyfriend, a man, a guy who could be with me, spend his time, his privacy life with me... i dont know..maybe a marriage..(well, i'm 22 this year) ...so i'm introduced with many guys and everytime when i'm start to develop my feeling towards them..things just ended like that...hmm..maybe i'm the one who always giving too much... :) love is hard...really

that's why i like being in this world...dreaming about oppas...at least, the hurt is less... 

sorry for wasting your time with this useless, wordless of me...