PS. If you only need the short information, I'm going to off from AFF for undetermined time. That's all.

Need to remind you, this is a long post and... probably unimportant for most of you. Read with your owk risk. XP

Dear readers... for whatever you were in my stories; those who never said anything and just be a silent reader, those who subscribed to the fics, those who commented there, and also those who upvoted my story. Yes, this is for everyone who have supported me in writing the fics in this site.

Along with this post, I would like to give my thanks to each of you, for creating such a great memories with me in these whole times.

Maybe we never really talked to each other. Maybe you added me just because you wanted to read the fics. Maybe you subscribed to me just because you were curious and then it wasn't as expected. Maybe you upvoted just because accidentally did it- and then feeling lazy to undo it. LOL. XP But for whatever your reasons are, I am really thankful that at least someone- this many people acknowledge my existence in this site, through my fic. Getting a notification at the top right of the screen; reading the words 'New subscribers!', 'New story comments!', 'New comment replies!', were always been something to be happy for.

I remembered that at first I was just a mere reader; I was even lazy to comment on other fics. But then I met this one amazing friend; this one all-time-favorite author of mine, yunjaemania. So because she was the first one asking for the comment, I finally gave that to her fics. I was always amazed on how she wrote, and I still am. Then at some points, I had this idea came from nowhere; it was the MinSu one, my very first fic- A Person Like Tears. I finished those in two days, and despite the lacking parts in every details of it, I was happy enough to have some people liking it. Then I went to that famous couple. Yes, our YunJae. I started writing the Almighty Shim vs President of YunJae because someone has requested for it; BookishMusicLover. After that, another fic plot came into my mind again... start from the love-triangle YunJaeMin, the no-pairing but just brotherhood horror fic, and after some fics, the Little Min series were created. In that series, I found some other people that giving me a suggestion (or a request to write a certain scene), for example, dina_holmes, citoluke, farahminnie, and some other people.

People come and go. That was for sure. My favorite author, yunjaemania, decided to not write anymore due to a private reason. That's a pity, for sure... but I respect her decision as well. After all, someone should never write because he/she have to; but because he/she want to and love to. I would never ask someone to write when he/she didn't want to. Some of my favorite authors became rarely updating their fics too, due to their activities in the real life. Some of friends were missing now; like PinkyKitty, or Jin_Riri, or SweetChocoVanilla. But just like I said, people come and go. So that, I found another author that has been my best friend too until now, Melodia-no-hanashi. It was started when I read her fic... and at some points she stopped writing that. Just because I asked her whether she would update the fic anytime soon or not, we can't stop talking about those five boys. She's always here, reading my stupid fic and giving me an encouragement to continue it.

I am really sincere when saying this : without your supports- those whom I've mentioned or not, I would never reach this point.
And I'm grateful for your existence in my AFF's life here, be it those who always give me an encouragement and support, and also those who sometimes say some harsh words or do something that I hated or even hurtful enough, probably- which I hope at least it was done unintentionally.

Now, it's time for me to say goodbye. A temporary one, I hope. I don't know when I'm going to continue writing those fics again here. Some months? A half year? One year? Or maybe more. Really, I don't know when I'm going to write those again. I know. Yes, I know. I too, feel sad and guilty at the same time for going to abandon my fics here; for going to put a hiatus on each of those for undermined time. I wrote those with my heart. I love each of my works (for my personal imagination- never said those are actually good enough, in fact). And it's not even because I've lost the muse to write now. No, not at all. I love writing and I love those boys, how can I not love writing about the boys? Of course I can't, as simply as that.

But at the same time, I have a dream. A real dream. Something that I'm dying to reach for these whole times.

I can't abandon my dream anymore for these fics, I'm sorry to say that. I want to reach that dream, which I've had ever since like... six, or seven years ago? Or maybe more. I always said that I want that to myself. I always said that someone that has reached that point was cool and I wanna be like them But then, where is my effort? None. If there's something, it's really not enough. So now, if I really want to reach that dream, if I really think of that as my biggest dream, I think I have to make a start and do enough effort. I don't know the result. Heck, I don't even know if my effort later can match the talent and ability that I should have. But without doing that, I will never know. I'd prefer to try and fail, instead of being a merely dreamer forever.

And so... I can't do both, writing about the boys here and trying to reach that dream; at least, not for now.

Maybe some of you would say that "You can do both as long as you're able to manage your time.". But I'm sorry to say that I know it better. I can't do it just like that. Maybe because in fact I'm not able to manage my time well, true. But I really can't and don't want to split my three hours in a day to do both, it won't work that way.

I'm not going to ask for your understanding. I know that this selfish side of mine can't be accepted just like that for some- or most (?) of you. Maybe for some of you, this just sounds silly and stupid enough to say. A dream is a dream, this and that isn't related. Maybe? But for whatever you're going to say, I should say first that nothing will be changed either way. I'm off from writing here for an undetermined time, and that's it.

And I'll be back, but at the time I'm going back here, maybe none of you will be here anymore.

Thus, there's nothing left aside from my deep apologize to everyone; for not letting you know what I have in my mind for the continuation, for not keeping my promise to finish those fics, for being such a selfish soul, and basically... for everything.

Once again, thank you for everything and I'm sorry for everything too.

This stupid wanderer soul, is now off from AFF to catch her dream.
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