Is it just me, or has this year been harder?

I don't know.  Maybe it's my mood?  Maybe I've changed.  I'm not sure of what to do anymore.  Before, I always prayed, but now, God even seems dark to me.  Have I fallen so far, that I can't get back on my feet?  Where am I?  I'm supposed to be a loving friend, but now I'm people's enemy.  

This morning, I was being lectured by my mom again, and I started to think, "Well, maybe the stuff she's talking about is true."  

I'm a liar and a horrible person.  I just can't stand being like this anymore.  I want to change, but everytime I try, I end up falling back down again.  It's all my fault, Mom, I take the blame.

I'm sorry.