I feel so ty. Can you guys give me some of your time and read this?

Do you sometimes get those days where you just feel ty about everything about you? You feel like your life is a mess and don't know where to start again. I'm in that place right now. But first of all, I'm going to apologize if I'm going to have some grammar mistakes here. English is not my first language.

Anyways, I have friends but there's only one friend that I'm sure who's true to me. I don't even know what to call the others. I feel like they are talking behind my back and things like that. Not that I'm just being suspicious or paranoid. I can really feel it from their auras when they are around me. And I just try to smile and be nicer to them so the awkward moments will be less. I don't know what to do. I feel ty. Again, I feel ty that I'm typing this blog so fast because guys, my dear friends in AFF, I feel so TY. And I know what you guys are going to say. "Move on, they are not real friends." Well yeah, I can't. It's not that I'm trying to fit in because even without them, I can do that. (I'm even comfortable with myself.) But I can't do that. I've known them the whole highschool. (And now we're in senior high) I just can't do that. I'm always there for them and I just can't abandon them! Do I sound like a martyr or something? I don't know what to do. I feel like crying. Oh god, I AM CRYING. For about 2weeks now and the only thing that stops me is Anime and books and I think it's lame. Help me guys. 

I know this sounds so stupid and childish but please don't judge me too much. I think I'm depressed and I haven't talked about it with my family or anyone. The fact that my mom is away probably somewhere far. I don't know. Maybe at the place I know she can be or not maybe further than that. And my dad is in Australia which is God knows how many hours from the Philippines and we're not even in a good condition right now. Because of things and family problems. What is going on with my life? I hope I don't sound like an overreacting hippo right now. 

I can't even write. I usually write when I'm down and update my stories because those serve as my comforting hobbies. And I don't blog or tweet about what I really feel because it looks like I'm trying to gain some attention. But now, maybe it's not bad to share something to you since I can't hide it anymore. I wanted to talk to someone badly. Anyone? Some stranger that probably cares a little? Just a little... 

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enterawsomename #1
I know exactly what you feel. I used to go through that exact same crap and even I had felt like that so I known what you feel :) But remember that your not alone :) You may seem like it but believe me, there are people out there that are worth calling friends. I know what it feels to not be able to move on from someone. I had a friend that I was really close to. And then she started ignoring me and leaving me behind and saying things behind my back. I got the hint that she didn't want to be friends with me so I thought its time to move on. But, I couldn't. She was my most closest and trusted friends and it was very hard to move on. I actually never did move on from her. She had been with me since the time i had entered that school. I know it can be difficult. But eventually we went high school and we slowly grew together again and now we are the most closest of friends. Heck the entire grade knows about how close we are. My last year of primary school was because everyone had left me. I had no friends and I had been depressed. But eventually I found hope when i entered high school. Remember, when u think that ur alone, believe me,there will always be someone there who cares.you are never alone and there are people worth calling friends. You will eventually find them :D
curason #2
I'm just gonna say one thing: there's no point in being friends w people who make you feel like this. If they talk behind your back then why bother trying to please them if they hurt you? Just because you've known people for a long time doesn't mean they're good for you. Sometimes the best thing is to let these people go so you can feel better. Of course at the end of the day it's all up to you. They're your friends after all.
shineemochibaby #3
Um hi~! You can pm me and we can talk if you want :)
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