in need of love advice

I've been very very bothered for the past few months because there's this girl that I really like. She's straight and she's aware that I swing the other way. She's a close friend of mine. We always go home together during the night. I was hesitant of telling her at first and thought of just going along like everything was just normal. Unfortunately, I can't. I respect her so much and I just couldn't bring myself to act like how we always do especially that she's kind of clingy, touchy and feely. We always hold hands, she hooks her arm to mine and she hugs me. And everytime she does skinship, I felt guilty because I like her and I like the feeling that she's always being freely intimate. So I distanced myself, as discreet as I could. I even stopped going home with her every night because that's when we get to have a moment of our own and I just gave her excuses. When she clings to me, I carefully shy away. I always looked away when we sit or stand together. I try not to look at her straight in the face. I did some stupid things so I stopped. Avoiding her didn't do any help. The guilt was getting worse than before because she had no idea of the reason why. It's like I didn't care about her anymore and I was kind of pushing her away when she didn't do anything wrong. Then I decided to confess. I assured her that I'm not expecting anything, that I just wanted her to know that. She said it was okay and things wouldn't really change between us. But still, I was so awkward around her and she kept saying that it's not an issue and that I don't need to worry. But I don't know. I couldn't help it but feel that way. 

Summer came and I thought the feeling was gone and when we saw each other again during the first day of school and everything came crawling back again. I'm still so awkward, I don't talk to her until she approached me and all the other things that love sick people do. It's our senior year and I'm having these mixtures of feelings and I don't know what to do about them. I want to take care of her, I want to do things for her, I want to hold her hand because I miss it so much, I want to put my arm around her should when we sit together and talk, i want to buy her those favorite books and color pens that's she always me tioned, I want to treat her to that movie that she couldn't watch. But I kept holding back because I have these feelings for her and whatever I do would always be seen as my way of showing my affection as though I have hope when all I want is show to her that she's a special friend and that I actually expect no return.

So what should I do? 

every advice is greatly appreciated. thank you :)

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YoonSicafied #1
I'm no lover guru but I definitely know how you feel. I'm not sure what I would do because it really depends on the person. I think you should just be you and act how you would normally act. You should do what you regularly do with her and just accept how everything is because you've already confessed yet nothing more has come out of it. If you are willing to keep your friendship with her then do your best to just be you around her :D But I also think you shouldn't invest too much of your time with her so it allows you to keep your eyes open for others around you because in my honest opinion I believe being interested in someone new helps a person get over their old crush/love. I'm not entirely sure if the advice I'm giving you is the best but I do wish you the best of luck. I've been in your shoes before and it doesn't get easier each time. In the end, please stay strong and don't let it bring you down. You're a great person and you'll have more to come ^.^
aom_alex #2
I think.. you should do what you want.. imean you confess already right? Then ask her if you can do tjose things.. if she dont like it then dont do it.. atleast you tried stop pushing her away.. did u ask her feelings too?? Based in what you said shes too clingy maybe she has feeling towards you too.. shes just discovering it.. so dont gve up.. dont distant urself.. it will make ur friend relaton to much gap. . Dont let yourself loose her because ur afraid and always having secong thought.
Fighting!!
Fvlse_Memories #3
I was in the same situation ):
I mean honestly, with everyone it's different.
Between me and the girl I use to like, I confessed, but she of course was straight. She said nothing will change between us. I started distancing, and gosh I missed her so ing much. I eventually realize that what I was doing was stupid. I still like her, but I got over the awkwardness. We are talking again, and seriously, nothing has changed. We're still great friends. It's comfort level and maturity, yknow? You have to be glad that she's accepting, understanding, and that she cares enough to not be awkward with you. It hurts at first, it hurts so ing much, but doesn't it all? It all gets better, honest. (:
hahasoshi #4
Crap...that's a tough position you're in. If I were you I'd try to keep my distance from the girl and heal up as much as possible and remind myself why we can't be together.
I have a thing for self torture, though, so maybe my advice isn't the best >_<
Stay strong, there are plenty more fish in the sea ^_^
farewellcinema #5
I'm in love with a straight girl as well. I can't even begin to explain annoying and torturous it is. I don't like the feeling it gives me, either. This feeling of wanting to get closer to her and knowing I shouldn't expect anything in return. All the girls I've been in love with before were straight so... it's this cycle that seems to keep repeating itself. For some reason I'm not interested in girls who are interested in me. I just seem to fall for the straight ones.

This was more of a rant than decent advice so I'm sorry. I wouldn't know what to do myself if I were in your shoes. Just needed to get that out of my system.

Just know that I feel you.
Hatsune-nyan #6
Don't try to push back your urges, if you do that the urges grow and it becomes a major priority.
You can't avoid confrontation so you'll have to come face to face with her at some point anyways.
Do what your heart wants, you can't run away from it. (Or graduate & never see her again)
It's your last year of school, have fun, make memories and ya know, focus on your grades just do those things with a friend. No regrets ^^
500sunny500 #7
Unfortunately, I'm not a love expert or anything, so I can't help you much. I just wanted to say good luck, and that I hope you'll be happy with the choice you make. ^_^
Hyololo #8
I think you should cut the "string" between her and you completely until you've entirely moved on, then reconnect with her, as friends. Give yourself space. Y'know draw a line on what you both could do and couldn't do to eachother so you won't rekindle the feelings. Find someone else who is able to love you back, because everybody deserves to be loved. Or if you can't, you can always ask her for a chance, she might not even realized she swing the other way. And if it doesn't work out, you can say that at least you tried. I'm giving really crappy advice but it's what I could've done so that my best friend and I wouldn't have fallen apart like how we did.
DorkyDorkie #9
man we're in the same boat. I think it's best for you to take time. idk what i'm saying. I just take my time and maybe this will fade someday. It is also good if you try to tell her that it's not the same anymore as you were before? are you two still talking or... you distance yourself now?
fab_aa #10
it's a bad idea to fall for a straight person. so i'd say dont. lol. but then again if feelings can be controlled then we all have world peace. i can only say good luck finding a girl that will return your love :)
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