“sometimes i think,
 

Yifan is silently taking in every little bit of hope and support from everyone who’s giving them to him as much as we give our love and support to EXO. he might have watched the first live online stream of EXO’s Lost Planet Concert. who knows. and he might be listening to the songs in the playlist the hurt fans have made in dedication to him. or in dedication tothe pairings he used to be connected to. he might be occasionally checking on updates of the brothers he unfortunately had to leave behind. he might find a moment to read a random drabble of him post-lawsuit day on a fan-fiction site.

he might be wondering how he missed the basketball court where he played with Lay, Luhan and random guy strangers near the river back in Seoul. he might miss talking about life in Canada with Baekhyun. he might be praying that Kai would one day perform in a ballet theater outside of Korea and he could watch it personally without anyone noticing him. he might miss those headaches he’d get just trying to teach Chanyeol proper Mandarin. he might worry about Chen’s whining when all the trolling fails now that nobody’s there to protect him. he might wake up in the middle of the night wondering how he’d be smelling Kyungsoo’s hearty cooking. he might begin to hate sitting at the balcony cuz it won’t be complete to end the night watching the stars at the balcony without Suho beside him chattering and complaining about the day. he might miss those serious gym sessions with Minseok that he used to join only to support his hyung and then still enjoy acting all lazy like a hippo with that tall maknae Sehun when everyone’s stretching before a serious dance practice. he might secretly buy Lay’s hand-made t-shirt. he might sense those random moments when it felt like Tao was right behind him and calling for him. he might finally have time to breathe and look a the stars in the sky and say hi to them from his soul. he might feel bitter every morning when he sees the sun rise up from the horizon, but at least he’s looking at the same sun his eleven brothers are looking at.

he’s like a drifting shadow now.
but, still undeniably….an omnipresence.
someone that’ll never be forgotten.

he may have made a wrong move to many, to millions maybe. yes, it was rather untimely at most. but it was still necessary to him, for him most importantly. support him if you feel he needs it. ignore him if you think he deserves it. but, most of all he may be thankful now that things have calmed while he takes this necessary journey alone.

because just like you, he might also be praying everyday for his eleven brothers and their ultimate dreams to come true.

and maybe one day, he’ll say hi to all of us again. maybe.”

among the most beautiful things i’ve encountered are the graphic art on deviantART.com and Tumblr as well as the playlists of songs on 8tracks that’s dedicated to him and EXO after the incident. it's better this way, we don't need any more negativity.