Hi everyone...

I would like to apologize for my sudden very short hiatus (?) these past two weeks or so (?).

The week I planned to update for you all was the week we all found out about Kris's lawsuit.

It was a very...shocking and painful week for all of us and our precious boys.

That same week I ended up getting really sick and I even missed out on my last Orchestra concert for the year.

I stayed home and everything was just out of place.

I got yelled at for not taking care of myself and that I don't care about my health at all...which resulted in me crying my eyes out in my room the entire night.

It was all happening so fast and with my condition at that time, I felt so useless and so weak I didn't want to face anyone.

I went to school the next day despite my condition and I forced a smile that entire week... I cried once during lunch, but... it wasn't enough to let all this pain out.

I thought I could just... turn a blind eye on it and wait it out...

That everything was going to be okay...

So that's what I still continue to do...

I continue to hope and wish the best for EXO despite everything...

But there's this hole in my heart that's been eating me away lately...

And it's distancing me from EXO... 

It's pulling me away from them... taking away my love for them.

  I'm trying to fill it back up, but this band aid I slapped over my heart temporarily while I do try to fix it... it's not stopping the pain and the growth of this hole in my heart.

  If you follow me on Instagram, you'll be able to see three posts I wrote about my feelings... and two letters - one for Kris and one for EXO.

If you want to read them, they're on my profile right now.

http://instagram.com/cutietears

So... you guys...

What do you want me to do...?
I can't think clearly right now... and I don't know if my decision with my future EXO stories will make you feel uncomfortable or not.

...

Do you still want Kris to be in my future EXO stories... or not?

For me... I can't leave him out, but if you feel that it's better to leave him out then...alright.

Once the decision is made... then that's that.

The current stories Kris is in will finish with Kris as a character.

There is one more EXO story I want to write and Kris is needed to be in it... So he'll be in that story.

And then...the sequels for 'Curing Untouchable'... he will be in them as well...

But for the future... would you want me to still write about him?

If the decision is made as yes... you guys still want me to write about him, then I will do that.

But I might lose some of you if you feel uncomfortable with Kris still being in my stories.

... It's okay... If I can't fulfill that for the future, then... it's not any of your faults you decide to stop reading my stories.

If the decision is made as no... you guys don't want me to write about him... then I will do that.

I will put up a poll for you guys...

Please think about your decision carefully...

I guess you could say this is like an idols' situation right now...

  I'm willing to give something... or someone important for you guys.

  It's like an idol willing to give up the person they love because they know their fans wouldn't like it...

You guys mean a lot to me... for being here and supporting my stories... and my writing...

Thank you...

For now... I have two weeks left until school is over for me...

I might or might not be in a short hiatus for a while...

This feeling in my heart might keep me from writing about EXO, but I'll try my best.

I have a lot to say about what is going on... but I feel like I'll anger people about my opinion.

  The last thing I would do is try to make this situation worse than it already it.

I love EXO dearly...

I love each and every one of them...

And I'd fight to keep my love for them.

Even if it meant fighting myself...

Until anything is confirmed... about Kris leaving or staying...

I will cover my ears to any rumors and stop believing in anything.

I can't trust anything and anyone about this anymore...

It'll hurt me even more... because a part of me will want to desperately believe anything.

Here is the poll...

http://www.asianfanfics.com/poll/aff_view/87428

Thank you for reading this...

And I'm sorry...

I'm so sorry...