1
People should listen to every underhanded joke I make because I'm clearly a prophet. I often say stuff in jest only for it to come true later. The most recent being my Kris oneshot A Pair of Shades Can (And Will) Hide a Multitude of Sins ✧|ƨ.ʋ.σ.ƨ|✧. I maye have luck, but hey, at least I can tell the future.

2
Don’t look at, or listen to, stupid people; idiocy is contagious.