Updates

First line of business, updates lol.

So I deleted all my blogs because this whole blog thing is so unorganized and there's just too much. I write about my life way too much OTL. However, I did keep one blog called A Story of a Short Person which you can find here. I'm quite ashamed to say that I kept it because it's a short, random blurb I wrote that I'm rather proud of. I wish I could write fanfics like that, but it would seem my writing skills only extend to nonsensical shorts OTL.

And that leads to my actual fanfics that are in desperate need of updating. 

My oneshots are probably not going to be updated for a while yet as I am sick and my finals begin on Tuesday so I'll have less time to focus on my fanfics. But I'll be less focused on my oneshots just because they need much more effort than an actual chapter. I think it's because it's one piece that makes up the entire story so it really has to be done well, whereas a chaptered story isn't as detailed. Or well. No. It's detailed, but there's less focus on how nice it is to look at and how well it's written. I dunno, I can't explain things well orz.

My chaptered fics all have a chapter in the works, and I'm polishing them up and working on those in the meantime. For anyone who reads Beautiful Stranger and does not read my author notes, I am limiting it to 30 chapters, then ending it there. I feel like 30 is a good amount of chapters to stop at, and it's not overwhelming lol.

And now the fun stuff-my life. Lol. Like I said, I'm sick and I've finals coming up really soon, so I'll be even less active on AFF then ever. I'm also trying to finish Once Upon a Time so my suitemate can finally watch the two newest episodes since she's waiting for me to finish. I'm such a horrible friend.

Incidentally, she's also the one who's been chilling in my room a lot lately, and we talk until like 5 in the morning about our past, our lives, our plans for the future, and how incompetent we are at everything. We still don't think we're in the right majors and that we're meant to do other things. We just wish we had a talent that we could work off of. As it happens, I'm going to try to take a computer science class during summer to see if I'm interested in that field. I also want to try to improve my art skills (they need tons of polishing up) so I can get commission for like art stuff or join contests because I REALLY need money orz.

I haven't paid rent for my dorm because I'm having issues with my loans that just went through, and I may or may not get kicked out very very soon which is completely moot since we have to move out soon anyway. It's not like I'm not paying. The loan went through but there's just some complications with the day the company sends over the money. It would all be resolved if the fricking Office of Housing Administrations would just reply to the email I sent them three days ago OTL

But yeah...that's my life that you guys didn't need to know and probably won't even read LOLOL.

Anyways, moving on.

Musings on My Fics

So I went back to some of my fics, mainly to see where I left off so I can write the next chapter, and I've realized something about my fics.

Like, when I read some people's fics, I can instantly tell who the author is, or what the ending is and how it's going to play out simply because it's almost always the same. I'm not talking about the stylistic approach to things, since people do change that up to match the story. I'm talking about the plots and character development. Some people have a trend in how they write their stories, so while it IS their own style, it's very predictable and almost cliche in their own way. 

So when I reread my stories with that mindset, I wondered if my stories were like that. And I feel like they are. I always write characters the same, and I tend to have a similar build-up and/or resolution to my stories. And now I'm concerned because I don't want to be that part of the AFF writing community where my writing is so cliche and predictable. I want to be able to make my readers think and contemplate what I've written, and pick up on the symbolism and underlying tones. I do love writing my fluff, but I also have this innate desire to write something deep (and Hero Complex will definitely allow me to expand in that direction). I want to jog the minds of my readers instead of mindlessly reading a cute short love story. 

Except I can't seem to write anything deep and meaningful, and I sometimes wonder if it's because I've created a small community for myself and my readers where they expect a certain type of story from me and I know that's what they expect so I go along with it. 

I do think I'm starting to break away from it a bit, what with my starting "Eric and Kevin's Dating Site for the Lonely". It may be a romcom (I am so ashamed of myself), but I feel like it could also be a satire about the online dating culture and actually be relevant to the world we live in today.

Or maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself and am going to far with this whole "be deep and meaningful" thing. Maybe.

I just don't want to be a cliche writer who writes stories in which everyone already knows the ending to. I don't want to be that writer who pushes out stories with no substance. 

And I don't know. I feel like that's what my stories embody-predictability and conformity.

But yeah, that's my two cents about my life and the stories I write LOL. Maybe I went a little too far with trying to be deep. Oh god no one's even going to read this. Oh well, it does say it's rambling OTL. But time to eat my medicine, so peace out o/