Ok so lately I've been feeling super depressed these days! Yep DEPRESSED. So it starts by parents.... My parents always loved my sister better than me! And guess what were just 13 months apart from age! They treat her like a princess I get jealous of her since she always gets awesome birthdays! If I had a birthday party I had to do it with my sister! But after one year she has it but I don't. I know stupid exclamation right?? >.< Well if we celebrate a birthday my family will just take pictures of only her and gets more presents than me! Like this Christmas I only got 1 present and my sister got like what 5 PRESENTS! And remember were just 13 months apart! I get super envious of her in what she does my parents praise her! She gets better grades than me and stuff like that but she has bad attitude I tell ya! Yeah Im average in grades but I have mixed attitudes like one day Im nice and one doy Im mean but my sister swears at my parents but I dont...... My parents dont mind my sister doing it... But I dont swear at my parents at all! I just keep my mouth shut or just throw a tantrum to them and still my sister gets all the nice things.....

So today I just told my dad to move out of the way but in a nice way, then he suddenly said "You are flirting now at school huh!?" And I wais like "What the heck!? What makes you say that!" Look I never ever wanna flirt like I find it disturbing if people flirt! And I dont even have a crush on anybody right now! But I love Korean dudes lol you know what Im saying, Ok back to the topic. I only focus on studying right now! All I want is a good life when I grow up! But then my parents don't even look like they want to support me..... Also after that my dad suddenly sweared at me and almost killed me just because I was ignoring him after he said that flirting thing. Yes almost killed me! He grabbed this very hard bottle and almost threw it at me! And I was like to him "Do it! I dont care if I die I just dont want to say your face anymore!" Well while saying that i felt regret.... And when I grow up I dont want to support him for all what he did to me today! 

Then after this more big burden thats taking over is school.... Look I have many fake friends at school! I dont even know what real friendship is!? They all talked behind my backs even on Instagram they talk behind my backs! I never did anything to them.... And the most worst thing that I ever heard was that there was rumors in my class that I was pregnant!? What makes it prove that I am pregnant!? My body weight is average. Yeah I have a bit of fat but it doesnt prove Im pregnant! It hurt me the most..... 

My stupid teacher got mad at me when I stayed in the washroom for the whole recess. I stayed there cuz I was not in the mood to talk or play with anyone and that time (I had a crush that time yes, yes, but now I dont) He told me that he has a girlfriend... Yes I was super sad lemme say we were kinda friends but we just only talked in the internet but i talk to him abit at school. So back at the topic... So my teacher screamed at me and then suddenly she bursted out something about my sister saying "You should be like your sister! She is better than you so you should learn from her!" Yo that really hurt my feelings..... Im sensitive so please understand... I walked back to class holding my tears and once i sat down in my seats I started bursting into tears it was embarissing since the guy I used to like was sitting beside me and then he suddenly said "Stop crying! Your better than your sister!" Which made me happy but then suddenly when I went home he texted me saying "HAHAHA YOU ARE BETTER THAN YOUR SISTER!!" I was like what the hell!? He was being so nice then what the happened now!? 

I hated him now since he discriminates my backround..... I got super mad and upset he was like "I will never ever like an Asian!" Well im Asian and it really hurt my feelings. Whats wrong about being Asian!? Thats why I always feel bad for myself.... Oh and my class discriminates Asians not only him but mostly every person in my class well instead of the Asians! There is about three Asians in my class including me and the rest are Black, White and half Asian. I got so mad that they dont even let full Asians go to any single birthday party! About 5 birthday parties have passed and none of the full Asians got to go! And one time this person in my class decided to separate Asians and Whites to her party but on different days but they never invited us to the next one..... Man I got so pissed off! And the half Asians dont want to be part Asian they want to be full white! 

So that is my rant of why am I depressed I want to tell someone... Since I have you guys to tell to my other friends from other countries^^ so thanks if you read the whole thing I appreciate it!