Review by kaibohydrate. 

Title 9/10

I have to give you props for the title of your one-shot. Not only does the title relate to the one-shot, I also thought it was unique and well thought of. Definetely eye catching, making one want to click on it and read more.

 

Foreword 7/10

Short but enough to catch the reader's attention. The way you wrote it made it sound as if they went through alot together though. I suppose they did in your mind but please remember that the readers don't know this since this is only a drabble. Also, I couldn't really help but think 'maybe this drabble will be a semi-fantasy' kind of story since you had 'he was born with a long life' as Neil's description. To avoid misleading readers, maybe consider changing the 'he had a long life' part into something else.

 

Appearance 8/10

The poster and the background was fitting with the story's theme, nothing too dark and nothing too dramatic. I usually get irritated when I have to read stories with layouts but I thought yours was alright since the font size and the color wasn't terrible. In fact, it was still easy to read.

 

Plot 11/15

The plot was alright but a bit trite and overused. I don't know how many times I've read a story where the one of the character dies and leaves the other devastated and alone. But since you wrote it nicely, it isn't really much of a big deal.

 

Characters 6/10

Since it's only a drabble, there isn't much to analyze when it comes to their personalities. I think you described them enough with their actions but I still can't say I got to know them well. Amie seems like a free-spirited person who isn't the type to think of the tomorrow (but would rather think of the today) and Niel seems attached to her, unable to bid her goodbye even though he knows it's time to.

 

Story Flow 15/15

Flow of the story was great and I like the fact that you began the drabble with Niel meeting with Amie, rather than going to a flashback. Most authors use the flasback method so brownie points for not going the usual route.

 

Grammar/Spelling/Structure 15/15

Grammar was flawless and I didn't really find your paragraph spacings difficult. I thought it was bearable.

 

Overall Enjoyment 11/15

I have to say, I initially didn't think I'd enjoy it. I don't usually read these kinds of one-shots anymore where one dies since I think it's so overrated and a little overused (as I've mentioned above). But since you delivered it well, reading it was much better than expected. Brownie points for your flawless grammar and spelling too. 

 

Total: 82/100 

 

Author's Note:

This was my very first review and it helped me in more ways than one. I was inspired to write a longer foreword and better the development of my characters. Thank you very much. The drabble has undergone many edits after this review ^^ 

 

Link to story:

Of Sunflowers and Blood Red Poppies